[robert waddell]

if your brains were dynamite you would not have enough to blow your nose
act your age and not your shoe size
as much use as a chocolate dick
DTW don't look at me in that tone off ignorance
as daft as a daft thing

[Sylvia]

My dad used to tell me, "If you had brains you'd make a good sheepdog"

[robert waddell]

glackit git yer jakit yer sakit

[Bionic]

Robert I bet there is never a dull moment in your house 

[robert waddell]

life is what you make of it       but it is your fault  you started this 

[robert waddell]

it goes like s**t of a shovel

[chairmanphil]

not to be encouraged with undue patience!

what part of stop don't you understand?

is that all you've done? 

[goosepimple]

sna af a dyke

[Brijjy]

Got a face like a bucket full of crushed arseholes.
Got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.
Got legs that wouldn't stop a pig in a passage.
It's snithing with .............
I couldn't give a tinkers toot.
I couldn't decide if they were Arthur or Martha.
Like a tramp on a sandwich.
Like a pig at a tater.

[lill]

Here there's some toilet paper wipe your mouth, your talking shite. 

[MAK]

Has the Pope got a balcony

[Brijjy]

Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?

[lill]

ye eyes are like piss holes in the snow

[NormandyMary]

there's nowt as queer as folk

[lill]

some i have not heard for years others well pmsl