[Bionic]

DITW, I like that one too and have been there more than once.

[Lesley Silvester]

Me too.  22 years of it.

[jaykay]

And me  I like, and believe, the original too 

[deepinthewoods]

ladies i raise a glass to you all!! cheers

[kaz]

One of my Dad's  " I've forgotton more than you'll ever remember"

[Moleskins]

You're about as much good as a one legged man at an arse kicking party.

Sometimes I'm that brilliant I amaze myself.

[Mammyshaz]

This advice is 'as useful as a chocolate fireguard! '

[goosepimple]

Face like a scone
Backside like a couple o' cats fighting in a bag
 

[NormandyMary]

"Im not as green as I'm cabbage looking"
There'll be tears before bedtime...and they won't be mine!

[Bert]

Don't let the bastards drag you down !

[Daisys Mum]

 Got a face like  smacked a*se

 Got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

[Plantoid]

Sheez goraface lick apundamince .
 
He's / she's that clever & full of s**t , he/she has to have two arseholes.

 He's that clever he can s**t in half the time of a normal person.

 Well it's that draughty s/he's either left the door or his /her gob open.

 When god issued brains they joined the queue for trains and missed it .

 Smile at everbody , the'll go crazy wondering why.

 A sign on a doctors desk ...." .Treat everyone better than you'd like to be teated " .

 

[Bionic]

I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right

[robert waddell]

shes got a wrinkle on her leg for beginners
pregnant woman    shes had a shot o the fattening stick
fell out the ugly tree and hut every branch on the way down
he will not make an operator as long as his arse is pointing down the way

[goosepimple]

Oh Robert, you are so course (but funny) - my OH is loving your style