Smallholders Insurance from Greenlands

Author Topic: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL  (Read 4639 times)

Fluffywelshsheep

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Near Stirling, Central Scotland
Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« on: February 12, 2009, 11:59:29 am »
Hurricane 'Senga' hit the Clackmannanshire town of Alloa in the early hours
of yesterday morning. Victims were seen wandering round aimlessly
muttering "Pure mental, man no?"

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately 90 worth of
damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and
Seville were damaged beyond repair. Three historically important areas
of burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before
their Giros arrived the next morning.
Police state that incidences of looting, muggings and car crime were
particularly high during the night, but calmed down when the hurricane
struck.

Twenty-two asylum seekers were rescued from an apartment in Tay Courtt ,
rescuers are going to search the second bedroom later today.

Central FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Alloa.
One resident, Bernadette O'Reilly, a 15 year old mother of 5 said "It
gied me a pure fright so's it did. My little Chardonnay-Mercedes came
running into ma bedroom greetin'. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and
Megan- Storm slept through it all. Ah wiz still shaking when I was
watching Trisha the next morning, so ah wiz". Neighbour Joseph 'young
young' McGurn said "The noise wiz tremendous. At first ah thoat it wiz
the Neds coming oot of Chalmers, but it wiz even worser.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Buckfast and two tons of Tunnocks Teacakes to the area to help stricken
locals.

Rescue workers are still searching the rubble and have found quantities
of personal belongings including Benefit books and bone china from
Poundland.


Residents in neighbouring Sauchie offered to accommodate those left
homeless, but the Alloa people decided they were better off where
they were.

A Council spokesman has indicated that it would take take at least a
full morning to get things looking like normal and added "There has
been a pure Blitz spirit, everybody's been pure blitzed".

Poundland has agreed to stay open 24 hours to allow residents to
refurbish their homes.

The Government has pledged to ensure that bookies, pubs, chip shops and
other essential services will reopen as soon as possible.



HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This Appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing most sought after includes - Fila or Burberry baseball caps,
Hoodies, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits (female),
white sport socks, Rockport boots or Adidas trainers.
Food parcels are also urgently required. Please try to include -
Microwave chips, Pies from Greggs, Sugar Puffs, Tins of spaghetti,
Gypsy Creams Curly-Wurlies, Red Cola, cans of Special Brew and Diamond
White, bottles of Buckie or El Dorado , glue or hairspray.

Just 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms. 2 buys
chips, crisps and Irn-Bru for a family of nine. 3 will pay for a pouch
of tobacco, papers and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.



*Breaking News*

Rescue workers have found a 10-year-old girl in the rubble Apparently
she was smothered in raspberry Alco- pop. When asked where she was
bleeding from she replied " Earn Court , whit's it got to dae wi'
you?"

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2009, 12:05:34 pm »
PURE DEAD BRILLIANT!!!! SO IT IS, BY THE WAY!!!!

You have found your vocation if this is all your own work, Linz!
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Fluffywelshsheep

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Near Stirling, Central Scotland
Re: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2009, 12:23:54 pm »
no i am affraid i didn't write it lol

but i was stucked in when i frist read it but then realised, i especially like the part about the people of Sauchie offereing help

 
Residents in neighbouring Sauchie offered to accommodate those left
homeless, but the Alloa people decided they were better off where
they were.


lol

Rosemary

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Barry, Angus, Scotland
    • The Accidental Smallholder
Re: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2009, 03:10:09 pm »
Honest, folks, Alloa isn't as bad as that!

Fluffywelshsheep

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Near Stirling, Central Scotland
Re: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2009, 03:11:58 pm »
no it's worst, lol

Only joking Alloa is a lovely place,with lovely people.
CRAWL CRAWL CRAWL

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2009, 03:22:07 pm »
The WHOLE of Central Scotland is lovely!  best thing I ever did was move down here - especially this weather!  Anybody looked at the A96 webcams!
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Rosemary

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Barry, Angus, Scotland
    • The Accidental Smallholder
Re: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2009, 07:39:46 pm »
Dan's Mum and Dad used to live in Crianlarich so tey notice a difference in the weather too. Imagine what Cornwall must be like!!

Fluffywelshsheep

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Near Stirling, Central Scotland
Re: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2009, 09:16:31 am »
my mum and dad always notice a difference up here to south wales (warmer here)

Mum uses vista and as the temperature gage for here(alva nearest she  could get), pontypool, (where she is)
Gloucester (where my sister lives) and Hereford (where a friend lives) and 9 times out of 10 alva is the warmest lol.
the only difference is the places are mainly on the otherside of the coast to use

Linz

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: Weather warning ALLOA HURRICANE APPEAL
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2009, 11:07:50 am »
I have Gadgets with Vista too and I have Old Rayne, Alloa and my friend's town Royston, in Herts.  We are regularly on a par with Royston and Aberdeenshire is at least 4 degrees colder - almost 100%
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

 

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