Agri Vehicles Insurance from Greenlands

Author Topic: How to get help.  (Read 278 times)


  • Joined Nov 2008
How to get help.
« on: October 31, 2021, 03:09:19 pm »
My 90 year old mother lives in Wishaw. During the summer she spent almost a month in hospital brought on by not taking her medication. We were told another week and it would have been too late. Doctors wanted a care package in place for her coming home but that never happened. Her mind is not what it was, she forgets things , not able to cook but she can make herself a cup of tea which was the one thing Home Support were interested in. i sorted out getting Wiltshire Foods to deliver meals but she does not always eat a proper meal some days. I have went down for a week every month over the summer but after this November I can't manage as the animals are in and I am needed here. What to do on getting help for my mum. It is a long winter for her to be on her own, not going out. There is the problem with shopping as the stores have a limited spend and mum does not spend that much most weeks. My brothers and myself have just bought her a walking frame which is fine for good days but not the winter.


  • Joined Oct 2010
Re: How to get help.
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2021, 03:33:22 pm »
You need to get in touch with her local Adult Social Services and explain the problem. Hopefully they will be helpful and arrange for someone to come in at least daily, which she obviously needs. If they start making excuses then start explaining again how important it is and do not put the phone down until they have agreed to do something.
 You need to totally over exaggerate the situation and ask for the name of the person you are dealing with, if you aren't getting anywhere. Then tell her you have recorded her name and will hold her personally responsible if your mother is found dead. Personal responsibility often works wonders, Good luck.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2021, 03:35:05 pm by landroverroy »
Rules are made:
  for the guidance of wise men
  and the obedience of fools.


  • Joined Nov 2015
  • Kernow: over-crowded already. You really don't want to live here actually.
Re: How to get help.
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2021, 03:42:21 pm »
Both my parents have had Care packages in more recent times.  Unfortunately I cannot reliably relate how it all works as 2 of my sisters took the lead on that front. For father, his Doctor arranged for Continuing Health Care on the NHS due his terminal condition (since passed away):  for my mother a means-testable Care package was arranged between the hospital (after her stroke) and the local authority via some sort of integration team (?).
Your mother's doctor/health centre should be able to advise, but Age UK will also be able to offer guidance on the process.

Other TASers might be able to offer more detailed advice, but good luck.


  • Joined May 2015
  • Aberdeenshire
Re: How to get help.
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2021, 03:47:23 pm »
As well as getting hold of the local social work team to get an assessment of her needs, you could try joining social media groups in her area to find out what community support networks exist near her.  A lot were set up during Covid Lockdown when Social Services all but disappeared and vulnerable residents who were used to receiving multiple visits per day were all but abandoned to fend for themselves! 

You may find that there are volunteers who could pop in once a day (ideally a few different faces because that will giver her some different conversations) just for 5 minutes to check she's ok have a cup of tea and a sandwich or heat a meal for her, to ensure she's eating properly.

You could also try the local Kirk who may have either an Elders rota or WRVS type organisation of people who may be able to help with an occasional visit and check.

My mother is much younger than yours, but having been widowed at the start of lockdown I'm in the process of installing security cameras in her home so that if anything happens that I can't reach her by the usual means, I can check the cameras to ensure she hasn't fallen.  The system we're putting in isn't the cheapest out there, but it will also allow us to talk over the cameras so, for example, if she's fallen, I can let her know that I know she needs help and I'm arranging it and I can "stay with her" talking to her until help arrives.  We also have calls first thing in the morning and in the evening for me to check she's ok, remind her to take any medication (whilst we're chatting) and so she feels connected.

Hope some of these ideas may be useful to you.

Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical and expecting more than others think is possible.


  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
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Re: How to get help.
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2021, 03:50:17 pm »
When contacting the care authorities you should emphasise that it is actually significantly cheaper for a care package to be put in place, even a 24hour, 7 day one, than for the NHS to have her permanently in hospital or a nursing home.

Care of the elderly and infirm is still free in Scotland.

If you don't have success as others have suggested try AgeUk -
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age


  • Joined Nov 2015
  • Kernow: over-crowded already. You really don't want to live here actually.
Re: How to get help.
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2021, 05:07:34 pm »
(I forgot that arrangements in Scotland are an exception to the rest of the UK. My previous general comments obviously irrelevant.) 


  • Joined Apr 2016
Re: How to get help.
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2021, 05:01:17 pm »
My experience of my MiL is a bit sobering - it was only when she fell and was admitted to hospital that "we " - the family - realised that she have been kidding us for a couple of years in that she wasn't eating, hadn't been to a doctor properly for 15 months (I'm fine !!) etc etc
It was realised that she couldn't care for herself so the 3 sisters took it in turns to staty with her, a week at a time until it got too much. Some respite care was arranged in a care home near 2 of the sisters who visited her every day
The respite became permanent as vascular dimentia was diagnosed
The last 18 months of her life were full of activity, visits, trips out, always someone to talk to.

Unfortunately, one of the aspects of the dimentia is that the hunger is dampened or even disappears and despite the care staff feeding her, getting special drinks  and whatever else, she passed away at 91.
But, as I said the last 18 months were far better than the previous

I'm not suggesting that your mum is going through the same, but it is hard to look after an elderly relative esp when they tell you all is well
Hope things get sorted out with care package and whatever else can be sorted


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