Author Topic: Worse day since I started smallholding.. :-(( (Read 17149 times)

Helencus · « **Reply #45 on:** February 28, 2011, 08:35:46 pm »

Lol I can't drink doctors orders! Tempting though. We'll sort it. I've already said to him it's the set up that's hard and hindsight being 20/20 we should've sorted separating the pen sooner. We are constantly learning and my dad is dead keen for us to get a place where we can all live together so he can help. He'd have his own front door mind converted outbuilding perhaps. Anyway I think he'll calm down and maybe relent.. Bottom line is he does love me after all why else would a city boy put up with me :-)!

Sudanpan · « **Reply #46 on:** February 28, 2011, 09:17:46 pm »

Very sorry to hear about the ankle mishap

Your OH is probably really stressing on your behalf and feeling very out of sorts because he can't just fix the ankle and make you all better so he's taking his frustration out on the situation and thats the pigs et al right now.
Best of luck and hoping all gets easier

Tish

Anke · « **Reply #47 on:** February 28, 2011, 09:33:18 pm »

It does take a few years to get the set-up right for your holding, after all, every farm is different. We have tweaked our weaners' set-up every year in the last four, and it gets more streamlined every time. (and every year we have been told that our pigs aren't as fat as the butchers were expecting them, so still more to learn...)

I also take lots of notes to make sure I remember what worked and what didn't... but that's just my brain slowing down.

ballingall · « **Reply #48 on:** February 28, 2011, 10:08:23 pm »

Oh sorry to hear the news Helen. Hopefully you are feeling not so bad now. I think we all have rows like that with the other half- I think it's normally me that looses it more often! I usually get fed up of getting no help, just having him turn up when its time to leave for the show- having got himself ready (whilst I've got me, 12 goats, 2 dogs ready, packed everything, hitched on trailers/caravans etc etc!).

He will calm down I am sure.

Beth

Hardfeather · « **Reply #49 on:** March 01, 2011, 07:59:32 am »

I'm sorry to hear about your injury. It's probably been the straw that broke the camel's back as far as your man is concerned.

People who have no real interest in livestock sometimes find it difficult to understand those who want to keep stock regardless of the work and commitment involved. If times are tough and the mud is up one's legs, it is very difficult to remain calm in the face of perceived disaster.

I wish you a speedy recovery, and a truce.

morri2 · « **Reply #50 on:** March 01, 2011, 11:15:12 am »

Echoing the sentiments above, hope you are getting over your mishap. I had the same problems with my OH in the early years. He really didn't take to the physical, dirty work involved and the constant commitment at first. He kept telling me to sell the bl***y things, they're more trouble than they're worth!!! But there's no stopping him now - all he wants to do is be a farmer. It did take a while for him to come around though so be patient. You never know, in a couple of years time your OH, like mine, may be scanning the estate agents details for a fully fledged farm!!! (Just need the money now

). All the best!

sabrina · « **Reply #51 on:** March 01, 2011, 12:06:57 pm »

Helen, I know just how you feel, last month I hurt my back, could not walk or stand up. My OH, instead of being understanding through a fit saying who was going to look after the ponies, chickens and ducks as he had to go to work in the morning. I am lucky, I have a lady who does animal sitting when we are on holiday also a friend who will fill in if the other person is booked up. Susan bless her was mucking out 10 horses of her own, her mothers 3 as she had a broken wrist then coming to do mine. I had to convince her to take money but she was my god send and shut up my OH. He always moans when there is fencing to do, in fact just about anything to do with working outside. the only good thing is he knows that this is the way I am, my animals make me happy, there my reason for getting up in the morning and when we had the 2 pigs he did the butchering himself, loved the pork so much that we are getting another 2 in June. Litter due April so have booked them. You only have one life, sit down with hubby and talk about how you can make things work for both of you. If it means cutting back a bit to make things easier then say you will try this but do not give up on what matters a great deal to you. Marriage is give and take not a you will do as I say.

Mamagoose · « **Reply #52 on:** March 01, 2011, 01:38:45 pm »

Hello, I don't know if this is the thing that would suit you but you could try looking at www.helpx.net. People from all over the world will exchange a bed & meals for 5 to 6 hours a day's work. Unlike WWOOFers you don't have to be organic. We've used them most of last year and met some fantastic people and willing helpers. By the way you have my heartfelt sympathy, I broke my elbow a few years ago and was useless and frustrated for 6 weeks, no to mention the pain. All the best.

ellied · « **Reply #53 on:** March 01, 2011, 02:44:44 pm »

I've been offline a few days so just caught up with this - hope things are settling and the pain is easing a bit now as well as OH's views

I reckon if you can sell some of the weaners at a decent price he might relent on the mums, like you say it's a compromise and at least if you're able to work via wheelchair he'll see you doing your best and meet you half way

I'm a bit far to offer help aswell as clueless about pigs

but I've a friend who has horses on livery at an organic veg farm that rear piglets occasionally in Leicestershire so they might know someone if not interested themselves - I don't know what info they need but I'm happy to pass it on if you have an ad?

Meantime you can also get those indoor jobs updated while you're resting - accounts, seed orders, invoices paid, plans, web info, marketing leaflets, any calls you hadn't time to make etc and look at drawing up a plan to change your pig organisation while you're at it so you can show OH how you plan to avoid future problems

Best of luck

Helencus · « **Reply #54 on:** March 01, 2011, 03:31:22 pm »

Thanks some very good advice. OH and I had a nice long chat on the way to hospital today and he's calmer about it all now. We've agreed what we need to do is make sure we get proper pig stys built for the winter and concrete pens and hardcore down with walkways etc. His ideas too. He knows this is really important to me he's just tired of endless stock fencing and building pig arcs!
The set up is the hardest part once it's all done he will be bored.
So another better day, no operation needed on my ankle and hubby willing to help to make it easier so were not having to wade in mud. I've said we'll breed 1 at a time and I'll sell all but 2 of the weaners if I can to scale back plus no more animals for now.
So harmony restored at least until the next lot of fencing needs doing :-))

doganjo · « **Reply #55 on:** March 01, 2011, 04:37:52 pm »

Oh I'm so pleased for you Helen - a very positive post today.

Your husband was obviously worried about you, about the state of things on the ground, and about money too probably. From here on in it will get better and better. xx

ellied · « **Reply #56 on:** March 01, 2011, 07:43:24 pm »

That sounds a lot more positive - great news and permanent pig housing is a real commitment too

little blue · « **Reply #57 on:** March 01, 2011, 08:34:11 pm »

glad it seems less tough today Helen.
but seriously, give J's cousin a ring, she is literally just down the road from you and said straight away she'd love to help!
wishing you a speedy recovery

Sandy · « **Reply #58 on:** March 01, 2011, 09:42:26 pm »

Lifes ups and downs

When we have somthing traumatic happen, some people get naturaly agressive, blameing whatevers around, when the dust settles, you can see things a bit clearer, so glad you are both being sensible about things and finding ways to help you both!!!!