Author Topic: The cheek of some people.....  (Read 16924 times)

egglady

  • Joined Jun 2009
The cheek of some people.....
« on: July 05, 2010, 11:58:37 am »
where do i start?  i am so angry i have burst into tears of rage.

we have 2 cats, got them when they were babies.  2 brothers, both are neutered.  they live in the house in the day and go out at night.  we dont have a cat flap so it's down to us to let them in and out.  for a year and a half this arrangement has worked very well.

about 6 months ago, one of our cats stopped coming home every night.  needless to say we were worried sick but after about a week, he came home.  ever since then there will be a few nights he doesnt come home and then turns up again.  he always looks well so we know wherever he goes he's safe and gets fed.

to cut a long story short, we've discovered that he seems to have decided to have TWO homes and spends quite a bit of time at someone's house in the next village to ours.

she already has a cat so presumably he has access to food.  she phones us every time he shows up - sometimes after days though - and we go and collect him.  we've asked her if she wants him and she doesnt cos her own cat doesnt like ours - which is fair enough.

well she phoned me yesterday to tell me he was there and did we want to go and pick him up, then she said "he's just having his dinner just now, so maybe after that".  so now i know why he goes there!!!  i asked her to stop feeding him when she could (appreciating that she would sometimes be out and couldnt) and also to put him out.  she said she couldnt put him out becuase he 'dirtied her windows'.  i told her I'd come and clean her bleedin windows if that were the case, but he wouldnt stop visitng her unless she started to make it less comfortable for him!  anyway, we ended the conversation - presumably both feeling frustrated.  in the end, in attempt to get her to listen, i said we'd either have to rehome him far away or else get him put down (i have no intention of getting him put down but i needed to make her understand that she wastn helping the situation)

she's just phoned me, to tell me that the reason he left home "was because i didnt feed him enough when he was a young cat, so he left becuase hewas hungry".  i hung up on her i was so angry.  then she phoned back and told me that i had given her a 'lecture' yesterday which she hadnt appreciated and that she'd lain awake all night worrying abut the cat.

i am sooooo angry i cant function.  as i said, we have 2 brothers, both of whom have unlimited food - their bowls are never empty - and if we are so bad, why is the other cat still here???

she went on and on and on and wouldnt listen to a word i said,  told me i had to rehome him to the country and that i shouldnt have told her not to feed him and to put him out. 

how can i get her to realise that SHE is part of the problem?
why are people so horrible?

jameslindsay

  • Joined Feb 2009
  • Nr St Andrews, Fife
  • "Blossom" one of my Pygmy Goats
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2010, 12:10:57 pm »
Want some of my blood pressure tablets Laura? Relax as long as you know your cats are well looked after that is all that matters. Cat's are so damned unloyal. :)

Sandy

  • Guest
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2010, 12:20:18 pm »
Cats will go anywhere where they get food no matter how much you feed them, I had a cat(my ex had after we divorced) thats belly nearly touched the floor as he used to go across the road and they feed him too,  unfortunalty he became a bit slow and got hit on the way across and sadly died but my point is, they are just out for themselves!!! I get mad that people put our human feelings onto animals, I do too but have to stop myself, they function at a different level and so dose that women!!! I would be furiouse too, better say nothing other than to get the cat a new home far away if you can!!!!! feet up, cuppa and Biscuit time and let her rant on and on and on

egglady

  • Joined Jun 2009
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2010, 12:23:42 pm »
thanks you two xx now i'm crying again but just cos you care and understand.  i so dont know know what to do about him.  i am normally such a practical and logical person who can solve most problems but this one just has me stumped

jameslindsay

  • Joined Feb 2009
  • Nr St Andrews, Fife
  • "Blossom" one of my Pygmy Goats
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2010, 12:29:48 pm »
Can you not just keep him as a house cat? My sister has a cat that does not get out and he has a great life. :cat:

Wizard

  • Joined Nov 2009
  • North East Lincolnshire
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2010, 12:59:03 pm »
A country saying You don't have a cat the cat has you.I am not a cat lover at all the bloody rotten things kill the birds in the garden, rake the bubs out of the nests Pooh in your seedlings. A Black Widow helps them to realise they are not welcome ???
Don't do today what can be put off until tomorrow because today will be yesterday tomorrow

egglady

  • Joined Jun 2009
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2010, 01:07:16 pm »
Can you not just keep him as a house cat? My sister has a cat that does not get out and he has a great life. :cat:

we thought about that, but he's had 2 years of being out in the countryside, so dont think it's fair on him to suddenly stop.  might have to in the short term though

jameslindsay

  • Joined Feb 2009
  • Nr St Andrews, Fife
  • "Blossom" one of my Pygmy Goats
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #7 on: July 05, 2010, 01:09:22 pm »
Isn't it sad how just 1 person can cause so much damage/upset?

Daisys Mum

  • Joined May 2009
  • Scottish Borders
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #8 on: July 05, 2010, 01:29:09 pm »

When my children were small we had a ginger cat which one of my neighbours started to feed and take in, I was really angry as the children were very upset that Ginger did not come home every night, but there was nothing we could do as he would have hated to be kept in, as all cat owners will say they are fickle creatures who will go wherever they like. Perhaps you just need to stand back and let him come home on his own, don't run when she calls just tell her to put him out and he will come home when he is ready and sod her bloody windows.
I don't understand why she is encouraging him when her own cat does not like him, that seems to me to be a bit cruel to her own cat.Perhaps you should suggest that she put her own cat first. I chase any other cat that comes round here as my house cat is very nervous.
Anyway good luck and DONT let her upset you she is obviously a sad pathetic individual(old cow)
Anne

egglady

  • Joined Jun 2009
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2010, 02:18:45 pm »
thanks everyone - i really appreciate it, at least i know it's not me!  i did 'suggest' to her that she put him out every time she see's him but that was when she said a) that he would dirty her windows and b) that she would be lying awake worrying about him!  but she doenst want him - it just doesnt make sense.  i phoned the vet after i posted here and asked their advice too and they said i was right and that i do only have 2 choices - rehome or have him put down!  vet was great, agreed that having the boy put down isnt really an option but if it makes her stop feeding him and making him welcome then i was right to tell her that.

vet also said, feeding him and THEN bringing him home (as per her suggestion) was a waste of time - but if that's how she wants to spend her time then i should just let her - no skin off my nose sort of thing.

have a pal who lives beside some woods down near Edinburgh so i've asked her if she wants him & she'll let me know tomorrow.  at least i know he'd be fine rather than rehoming to some unknown person.

thing is, we didnt want cats in the first place & only got them cos we had mice when we moved in...and now i've ended up attached to the damn thing!

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #10 on: July 05, 2010, 02:19:55 pm »
I wouldn't speak to her.  Write her a letter and tell her that she must STOP feeding your cat as what she feeds him makes him ill, and that you will contact the Cat Protection League if she continues to do so.  And at the same time keep him indoors for a week and feed him REALLY good tempting food.  I had to do this a year or so ago when rio visited some horses about a mile up the road - Carol their owner had been feeding him for a couple of weeks thinking he was a stray.  She stopped feeding him when I found out though and asked her not to, he only goes up there occasionally now to catch the rabbits which abound there.
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

egglady

  • Joined Jun 2009
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #11 on: July 05, 2010, 03:21:01 pm »
i just remember something else....she gave me a hard time becuase I dont phone her to tell her when he's gone missing!!!  Yet she tells me when he's there, so apparently, this means that i am supposed to phone her to tell her to 'expect' him!!!!  cant believe i forgot that part till now!!

Roxy

  • Joined May 2009
  • Peak District
    • festivalcarriages.co.uk
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #12 on: July 05, 2010, 04:12:14 pm »
Anyone who has a cat has to understand that they do not own the cat - a cat will make sure it has two homes, and eat at both of them.  Its not like having a dog, you control that and keep it at home, but you cannot follow a cat all over the place, can you?

We have a lot of farm cats.  I know for a fact, two go next door, because the man there thought they were two stray kittens, started feeding them and that was it.....they go round every day now.  It only came to light when he came and asked had I seen two black kittens.  Also we have a ginger intact tom and also a black and white one.  They appear to have moved in, no idea whose they are.  But the black and white one, I have seen visiting at least three other farms along the lane after food, and he is as fat as a pig!!!  I cannot stop him coming here, no more than I can stop him visiting everyone else on the lane.


Rosemary

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Barry, Angus, Scotland
    • The Accidental Smallholder
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2010, 04:18:54 pm »
I think I'm kind of with Roxy on this. I'm not really sure what the problem is here. Apart from you having to go and pick your cat up (I assume it's not too far away) and the potential danger of him on his journey, sounds like your cat's got it made - not just one but two homes and an exciting journey between them!

Couldn't the two of you just agree to share him - like joint custody? Some parents manage to do it with their children, couldn't you and this other lady manage to do it with the cat? You're both obviously cat lovers and care about the wee blighter, so can't you come to some amicable arrangement without resorting to letters here there and everywhere? Isn't there enough strife in the world without falling out over a cat?

Take her some flowers and come to some compromise  :)


Jackie

  • Joined Nov 2009
Re: The cheek of some people.....
« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2010, 04:55:56 pm »
I'm not really sure what you are angry and upset at? Is it cos the cat gets fed twice? Is it cos the woman wouldn't listen to you and do as you said? Whats the problem here?

Re homing a cat because he goes to be fed somewhere else seems a bit harsh. Just let the cat and that woman get on with it.

 

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