[scattybiker1972]

hope it all goes ok for you all.

miri
ps ,my friends who own an alternative clothing shop said that my middle son jordan came in with some other kids [18 yrs old ] who were being a bit lippy so he said that they couldnt speak to people like that as it was rude and he knew joe and adele well and behaviour like that isnt on.so there is good in there as im sure it is in your harry .its just hard for them to control themselves and its other kids who wind them up but them who get blamed.

[MiriMaran]

Oh, there's loads of good in Harry.  He's funny, loving and when he's on form he's fantastic company, but that can all change in the blink of an eye.  Luckily, his good moments make the bad ones melt away.

[HappyHippy]

HH, what's the latest news on Caitlin?  Did you get a Reiki person who specialised in children?  Are you still finding it successful?  What changes are school making?  I had a quick look at Kinetic learning this afternoon, but am not sure how much a school can do with Kinetic learning with one child when I would imagine most other children would want to join in.  I'm just not sure how a school would work it, but am planning to ask at the IEP meeting on the 25th.

Hi Miri, we took her to reiki and it was great. Really chilled her out and improved her concentration. It was one of my friends who did it and since then i've done the first degree and am able to treat her myself - I was slightly sceptical at first but it's working, she's definately calmer !
The school continue to be a fantastic help  We had a review meeting in Dec, the upshot is that we've got to do a seperate referral to Autistic services (still waiting for other appointment with the ADHD lot !) so it's hearing tests and speech therapist's assesments all over again - nothing happens quickly  But the head has called in a favour from a friend in an outreach autistic support group, they've been out to see her a few times and are hopefully going to come up with a 'coping stratagy' for us to use until such times as there's an 'official' diagnosis made.
My gut feeling is that she'll end up moved to another school, with ASD support (and the teacher's have hinted that they think this too - but not in a bad way) but for the time being it's just a case of waiting for appointments 
I'll let you know how things go and hope your meeting goes well - make sure you tell us 

[MiriMaran]

Thanks for that Karen.  I had thought of doing a Reiki course, but didn't know if, as his mother, it would work.  I thought emotional baggage might get in the way.

Glad to hear the school are still being good and why on earth do these beaucratic problems take so long.  I am seeing my doctor tomorrow to get a referal and have been anticipating a 8-9 week wait before Harry can be seen, but now I'm wondering if should be thinking even longer than that!!!!

I don't remember you mentioning ASD before?!  Is that a possible diagnosis or her?  Why does Caitlin have to go through hearing and speach assessments again?  That seems a waste of resources! I had also wondered about asking for a hearing test for Harry just to cover that base.  How does Caitlin cope when she meets these strangers asking her strange questions?  I can see Harry showing off like mad a looking like he is even worse than her really is!!

Why would she need to move school - is it because of resources or would she move to a Specialist school?  If so do you have one local to you.  We have a couple of very good ASD schools near us.  In fact, Little Blue, works at one them which is why she is always full of brilliant advise.

Don't worry I will definitely let you know how things go.  I have no support from my OH about doing this so all the support I get is from you guys.  What would I do without you.  This is why forums are so fantastic you all sorts of opinions and advice from different types of people with different experiences - I love it.

[MiriMaran]

OK update time.  Harry's teachers filled in an ADHD questionaire which has approx 18 questions where you boxes that say never, sometimes, often and frequently.  I expected it to come back with mainly sometimes and often ticked maybe with a couple of frequently.  However, they were all often and frequently! 

I took the questionaire with me to my doctors appointment which she has now kept for her files.  She gave me a telephone number to call.  So, I have now organised a telephone assessment with the Derbyshire Child Development & Disability Telephone Assessment Service for next Thursday.  They will then decide whether Harry needs to seen by anyone.

Its going to be a long haul isn't it!?

[HappyHippy]

The short answer to that is YES ! 
The whole process for Kaitlin has been going on for 2 years and we're still no further forward 

Thanks for that Karen.  I had thought of doing a Reiki course, but didn't know if, as his mother, it would work.  I thought emotional baggage might get in the way.

Nope, it'll have no negative effect at all. The main benefit I found is that I can do short bursts of 10-15 minutes rather than take her to the practitioner for an hour's session (when she tends to lose concentration) The reiki flows from you to him and helps calm you too - I'd say go for it girl ! If you can get the time to do it, it's good for calming yourself too 

I don't remember you mentioning ASD before?!  Is that a possible diagnosis or her?  Why does Caitlin have to go through hearing and speach assessments again?  That seems a waste of resources! I had also wondered about asking for a hearing test for Harry just to cover that base.  How does Caitlin cope when she meets these strangers asking her strange questions?  I can see Harry showing off like mad a looking like he is even worse than her really is!!

One of the teachers mentioned ASD - I'd always ruled it out as she is soooo tactile, but looked into high level autism and so much of it applies to her. In order to get an appointment with the Autism people she has to have a seperate referral to the ADHD one, it's different agencies that deal with it. And in order to get the referral she's got to have been seen by at last 2 specalist people all over again ! It is a total waste of resources AND adds to the time it takes, but it's just the way they seem to do it ! Everyone keeps telling me that she's a 'complex' case ! she seems to have lots of bits and pieces from both ADHD and ASD !
She copes brilliantly with all the appointments (even getting some blood tests was ok) if possible they see her one on one, then talk to me alone then observe her in a class setting - I'm sure she does show off a bit, but i think they factor that in when assesing 

Why would she need to move school - is it because of resources or would she move to a Specialist school?  If so do you have one local to you.  We have a couple of very good ASD schools near us.  In fact, Little Blue, works at one them which is why she is always full of brilliant advise.

I think she'll move to a specialist school, we have one or two which are joined to mainstream schools so the kids get to interact at break times and do some classes together. But I think that's a way off yet - got to actually get to see some people first and get a proper diagnosis ! I thought Little Blue sounded very clued up  Ruth, you're a star and I'm sure I'll be bending your ear soon !

Miri - you mentioned an appointment with development and disability - I applied for DLA for Kaitlin, not really expecting to get anywhere since she's not been diagnosed, but had to give it a try as I'm not able to go back to work due to the problems she's having (need to go to the school at very short notice a lot of the time) - she was awarded it, and I'm able  to apply for carers allowance too, maybe this is worth looking into for Harry too ?
IMHO it's a long, hard process to get anywhere - but it's one I'm determined to get sorted  I hope you get some joy at your appointment and we're ALWAYS here to listen 
Sorry for the HUGE post 

[MiriMaran]

Thanks for the reply HH!  I'm not applying for any monetry help as I have never had any phone calls from school calling me in.  That must be exhausting for you, never knowing when you are going to get a call, always on tenderhooks, or do you get used to it?

[scattybiker1972]

once the ball has started rolling,and a diagnosisis done  its all done quite quickly,it just takes time for all the bits and bobs to sort themselves out. and for teachers ,ect to start singing from the same songsheet.
but it is a relief to get the help sometimes.
unfortunatly there is no respite help round by me which would of been really helpful at times, and i dont know what is available in other areas,but jordan was diagnosed just before he went to high school.and thats when it really needs to be in place.  so its changing a lot .hes 19 now.

[HappyHippy]

Thanks for the reply HH!  I'm not applying for any monetry help as I have never had any phone calls from school calling me in.  That must be exhausting for you, never knowing when you are going to get a call, always on tenderhooks, or do you get used to it?

I think I must be used to it now, or maybe expecting it is a better way of looking at it. Hence why I'm working from home with the signs and jewellery and stuff. But it is a pain at times - the one day of Xmas shopping I had planned got disrupted halfway through cos I had to go back and see to her  It's soooooo difficult to get ANY time to myself, even when she's in bed there's no guarentee she's going to stay there long ! Ah, the joys 

[scattybiker1972]

they do eventually move out though!!!!    only messing. i do miss mine now theyv left even though it was hard at times.  extra omega 3 oils and other essenital; oils can help with a lot of kids too. look into massage and essential oils,therapy for both of you too.

[MiriMaran]

I took Harry to a Reiki session this evening.  He had a fabulous time spinning around on a stool, jumping on the couch, trying to get the Reiki man to have a pillow fight with him!  All-in-all I have no idea yet whether there will be any difference.  The man said that Harry seemed to be stuck on full throttle, had a huge amount of energy, doesn't breathe enough.  He thought he may be able to help, but won't know until he has done 4 or 5 sessions.  He suggested someone who does Cranial Osteopathy and said to phone her as she may be more successful.  He was a lovely man and thought Harry was fab, but was a bit blown away by my little red-haired tornado.

I asked Harry what he thought about it.  He said he liked the man, wants to make him a thank you card, but the Reiki man made him feel sweaty when he touched him!!

Tommorrow Harry's class are leading the Friday school assembly and are doing a little play which I'm really looking forward to.  On Monday we have the IEP at school and on Thursday I have the Child Development and Disability Telephone Assessment.  Apparently he is getting worse at school.  I think the home to school book hasn't helped.  His teachers have involved him in the book so he knows what gets written in the book and that I will be reading it.  I think he is now being naughty to get the attention, so they discuss the book with him.  I should have seen that one coming, but hadn't really expected the teachers to involove Harry in the book.  His teachers are lovely, but when I talk to them they say "I don't know what we are going to do woth him, but we'll work something out!"  Hopefully they will have worked out a plan of action before Monday becasue there's no point in working out targets in the IEP meeting unless there are strategies to achieve those targets!

[little blue]

maybe he needs two books?! Its good that they're involving him though. It just needs some changes to make it work. They should be discussing his behaviours with him, but maybe in a different way?!
The reiki should really help, and theres plenty of similar things to explore if H gets tired of it.

Will be thinking of you next week, let us know how it goes.
I was chatting to your ex-child-minder today, completely forgot to mention you all, as she had the most gorgeous collie dog with her, who is nearly as daft as ours...
Sorry!

[r+lchick]

Pardon my ignorance on this but how can a teacher give you a decent report when she will have to write it in a language your little Harry can understand so that they can discuss it.  Won't he feel singled out, or as you said "I think he is now being naughty to get the attention"  It is great that he is finally getting the help he needs.  He could tell the teacher the best bit of the day and the worst bit of the day, she writes it in the book and then give her account of the day in words of more than 1 syllable.  Maybe I am old fashioned.  When I was a kid, we use to play while our parents and their friends had an adult conversation.  On a lighter note, thanks for the heads up on his hair colour - never met a red head who did not have a fiery temper.   Stay in there girl, you are doing a marvelous job.  Ros

[MiriMaran]

I know Harry only had one session of Reiki and I'm not looking for miracles, but there was zero change in behaviour!  I had a long chat with the Cranial Osteopath and have an appointment on 11th Feb, for just me, to discuss Harry further before she meets him in person.  She seems very interested in seeing him and says she'll know after her first session with him whether she'll be able to help.

Thank God I have given up smoking 'cause Harry is going to cost me a fortune, but to be fair the Cranial doo daa woman said she charged £20 a session, but then said "but we can work someting out if its too much."  She sounded lovely.

The interesting thing is that both her and the Reiki man both asked how Harry's birth went and think that may be the root of the energy levels.  He arrived 10 days early.  First part of labour was 1 hour, 2nd part was 30 seconds.  He came out on the first push and I had to shout at the midwife who was gassing to her friend by the sink.  She just managed to catch him before he started bungy jumping!  Poor boy was purple and all the whites of his eyes were red from his blood vessels bursting.

[little blue]

aww, bless him.
From my all-be-it limited experience, early or difficullt births, and babyhood illnesses often have long term effects on someone's behavioural issues and conditions.
Keep at it, if his 'chi' (energy) isn't balanced, it will take more than one session to sort it out! Get as many books as you can from the library so you can understand what they're on about!