[scattybiker1972]

hello,i was reminded of a time when we were in town and i had to get my brother to restrain jordan as he was climbing the walls.literally. trees and shop windows.
i couldnt control him so my bro, came and walked him away cursing and screaming.
the help groups have all sorts of different methods to try and you just have to find the one that works,with the individual child and some work better than others,
the thing that kept jordan quiet and occupied is fast moving stuff,computer games,motorcycle riding.
you have to concentrate ,my bike keeps me sane,
also working hard helps,tasks and rewards seem to work with some but others dont give a stuff, cos it is a watever attitude,you just have to find out what floats their boat
jordan was the kid who when youd say 'who wants to go for an ice cream' the kids would go yeh hed say no.
my nephew has also got aspergers and hes hard work too.
paula

[doganjo]

send to bedroom at home

Is that a punishment?  When I was raising my kids it wasn't.  I made them go and stand in the kitchen if they were naughty but I can see that wouldn't be a good idea for Harry.

[MiriMaran]

I view sending the children to their bedrooms not necessarily as punishment, but more as getting space away from each other and me and as a way of breaking the momentum of a situation.

[little blue]

Here's a link to a children's version of the VAK Questionnaire, to identify learning styles.
If you want a different 'level' for younger or older people, just google VAK (It stands for visual, auditory, kinaesthetic learning)

http://www.brainboxx.co.uk/a3_aspects/pages/VAK_quest.htm

[little blue]

Miri, if you use your local library, theres often good books on ADD/ADHD, assuming that is Harry diagnosis when it comes. It does sound likely, rather than oppositional defiance or asd or whatever.
I like Ian Walker's "You & your ADD child", as its quite simple (Like me!)  and is good for quck reference.
Let me know if you'd like to borrow it.

Need to take the dog out, but I'll be back....

[little blue]

Admitted, this a link to East Riding, Yorkshire Council, not Derbyshire, but at least they publish samole IEPs on the wwweb!
Just whizz down to the PDF documents

The targets should be set by the school / therapists involved in collaboration with you, and reviewed regularly.
Tahts why things like the VAK test is worth doing, and finding out the things that work and don't, with Harry, to make the targets fulfill-able and workable

http://www.eriding.net/inclusion/ieps.shtml

[juliag]

Ok , I shouldnt post this until I have read all of the other posts which I will do later but how dare that boy be so nasty to harry at that party! you were so controlled I dont think I could have stopped myself from marching over and telling him not to be such a bully! yes you say harry is a handful but most little boys are! my son william is the love of my life, i shouldnt say that as I have 5 daughters , all older than him but I waited a long time to get my son.. and what a son.. all boy! I dont know where he gets it from! but I can tell you this...... your boy showed remarkable restraint at that party when he was told by the other boy to keep going to the back, william would have watched him from the sidelines for a couple of minutes and then......... well rightly or wrongly he would have gone wading in and gone balistic. The other lad wouldnt have stood a chance! sorry but there it goes. Be proud of your boy for being so restrained.
on that note I have to go and put said boy to bed (he is only 5), I am very sorry if I have overstepped the mark but felt angry on Harrys behalf at his treatment from both the lad at the party and also this mother whose house he went to. i deliberatly dont have parties in my house because they do all go wild together! Oh and on williams defence he is the kindest boy going, he is always aware if somebody is upset at school and takes it upon himself to look after them........that is after he has sorted out whoever upset them in the first place.............. oh the joys of parenthood!

[doganjo]

I agree Juliag - I said much the same myself.  My boy had a temper and oten got himself into trouble but after obtaining an honours degree in technology and management and holding down a top job in a very well known phone company I don't think anyone would have classed him as having a disorder.  He was a boy's boy and is a man's man!  At 37 he has learned to controkl his temper but won't let unfairness go by unnoticed.

[juliag]

ok read them all now and i am so sorry that so many of you on here have had so many headaches and heartaches! Cetainly there are far more qualified people on here than I am as to having children with ADHD, being statemented etc. I dont know harry but appreciate you  have another son (oliver I think you said, and that oliver is a little bit older than harry). From my own experiences of my son and my friends sons, all of which are very full on and boistrous I cannot see that there is too much to worry about with him.
you said he has had pets which he was cruel too, but you dont say how old he was at the time. show me a little boy who hasnt been, back in the summer I was looking after my friends 2 boys when looking out of the kitchen window I saw her 5 yr old kicking one of my bantams like a football up against the side of the house with his 7 yr old brother egging him on.  (the hen was fine).  Every boy (other than william who knows better now) that i have taken to the field to see the ponies and hens (ex bats and others) have immediatley chased the hens, very often with sticks. I go mad each time and they stop only to start again when they think I am not looking.
On another occasion i was looking after 2 other children for the afternoon, they were playing quietly upstairs, too quietly as it turned out. they had found a florescent marker pen and had scribbled all over my 15 yr olds white bedroom furniture. they were 6 and 4.
The Rugby is fantastic for him. can he do more?
And you said yourself Oliver had been winding him up for months, Harry hitting back hard is normal!
I

[MiriMaran]

Thanks Juliag,  I totally agree with you, at the party Harry showed remarkable restraint and I was very proud of him.  I think his restraint may have been because I was there although he wasn't looking at me to see my reaction or anything.  I asked his teachers who set who off or were they as bad as each other and was told that it was 50:50, which to be honest I don't entirely believe - the other boy is manipulative and coniving where as Harry is totally transparant, but I need to trust what the teachers say.  Juliag, the reason I have started going down this road is that if his social life is being effect and he is being disruptive at school I have to try and get help with him.  The toher problem is that his temper is getting worse.  He used to be fiery and then calm down quickly, but now he is staying angry.  Last night he was crying his heart out saying that at school a friend had made him angry at lunchtime and he kept feeling angry for the rest of the afternoon and that upset him as he was avoiding his friend to make sure he didn't blow up again.  He seemed really upset and confused that the anger stayed.

After reading on the internet I have bought some milled Flax seed to sprinkle on Harry's breafast - it is high in Omega 3.  I have also bought a Zinc and Magnesium supplement which is supposed to help.

Ruth, thanks for the links - I'll go and have a look at the now.

[MiriMaran]

Oh Ruth, that VAK test was almost entirely Kinaesthetic when I answered what I thought Harry would choose!

I just tried it on me and I'm a complete mix of all three!

[HappyHippy]

I did the VAK test for Kaitlin too and got the same result ! Off to find more info on kinetic learning to give to the teachers at school 

[MiriMaran]

HH, what's the latest news on Caitlin?  Did you get a Reiki person who specialised in children?  Are you still finding it successful?  What changes are school making?  I had a quick look at Kinetic learning this afternoon, but am not sure how much a school can do with Kinetic learning with one child when I would imagine most other children would want to join in.  I'm just not sure how a school would work it, but am planning to ask at the IEP meeting on the 25th.

[little blue]

bless you, make sure you talk about Kinaesthetic learning, rather than kinetic (same root, ie movement) !
Really, the school should be offering ways of teaching like that anyway, as all kids are different and learn in different ways.  (I'm a mixture of all three as well, always knew I was Special!)  If not, maybe you'll be a pioneer for change?!
Primary schools are on the whole better at this, eg using counters in maths, acting out a story, reading aloud, building, measuring with beakers etc etc and once you know what works - keep it up!
When is Harry's assessment with the pysch?  Will they give you a diagnosis fairly soon? (rather than me bombard you with stuff that may not turn out to be relevant!)
 

[MiriMaran]

Its going to be a long haul Ruth!  I've got an appointment with the Doctor on Thursday, which I made in mid-December and it was the first available appointment!  The doctor will then refer him to a Clinical Psychologist - although I have been advised to ask for a particular Paediatric Clinician at Ripley.