Hello Russ,
Sorry to stir your emotions here - and thank you so much for sharing that important stance, the truth is what you describe - and that is what people do not want to hear or see, the hurt, the love, the fact that some people will not change.
I have also felt what you describe, and been judged and victimised because of having a relative of mine do time, and have their name in the paper for being involved in a small way in a bank robbery in the 1950's.
Crime will always be with us, there will always be rich and poor people, and wealth will always be distributed unfairly, thats life.
The hurt and love that we feel for family members caught up in the system is not easy to bear, and mixed emotions well up inside us all - We cannot live life for our loved ones, we can not change them, all we can do is try to understand them and their situation, and this you have done.
Family are strange - I used to feel that I didn't belong in mine, that I was different, and it was always a fight to be liked and loved. Parents never backed me up in decisions on career, friendships (girls and boys 11-16) or partnerships, and were always negative and sometimes quite nasty.

It was only inrecent years that I was sharing a couple of stories with a lovely lady I met in Dublin.
"You were born into the wrong family" she said,
"If you had been my dads daughter he would have loved you to go into art and encouraged you all the way, dad was always wanting us to do that but none of us were artistic".
Then I realised, all my life I had tried to please my family and do what they wanted me to do, act like they wanted me to act, and that was not me - maybe I was born into the wrong family - I did not have to be what they wanted to be - I could be myself - unique - different - individual.
As mentioned elsewhere
You cannot choose your family, but you can choose whether to have them in your life or not.
This is the way I have dealt successfully with my problem family members.
I do not get on with my Mother or Sister, they have hurt me in the past.
So I chose a few years ago to tell them that I do not want to see them again, and that they are welcome to believe what they like, but their thoughts and words will not affect me, as they are no longer a part of my life.

I am not bitter or twisted - just without the grief they cause with their opinions and words now. I still love them, but do not need their acceptance or approval, I am my own person and I am not what they think or feel - that is their problem and not mine.

I don't want to lose the thread of this subject, as I believe that it is important that people know what is being planned for the future on this, but at the same time, as James said, it is going to cause some fireworks.
I just hope that getting it off our chests heals our wounds -as often is the case if you share things.

Julie