[smallholder in the city]

For our wedding we told everyone we didn't expect a gift but if they wanted to buy us a gift get something that would remind us of them. We had some lovely things; a painting by my brothers girlfriend, mugs with pics of friends at the wedding a handmade chopping board with the wedding date carved on it and from my cousin a bottle of his favourite aftershave.

[ballingall]

I haven't been to many weddings recently (all my cousins/siblings got married a few years ago as I am 10 years younger than the next nearest in age), but I did go to one two years ago, where the invite said, we only want the pleasure of your company. But- if you do want to give something, there is a small wedding list- email the groom's father in order to get it. Obviously the email address was included.


I thought that wasn't a bad compromise, people who were un imaginative, and wanted to pick from a list could, but the list wasn't thrown in your face. It also involved the effort of contacting a 3rd party to get the information.


I do like the idea of a cow fund 
 
Beth

[bloomer]

i got married 12 years ago on a budget of nothing,


we were setting up home for the first time so needed loads of stuff and people were very kind to us...


we didn't have a list as such but my mum co-ordinated with people to make sure we didn't get 47 toasters,


the only duplicate from our not list was 2 woks, and hey i used them both for 10 yeards before finally wearing them out!!!

[tizaala]

Our next door neighbour gave us a kitten ......turned out  a very useful ratter.

[Lesley Silvester]

Our next door neighbour gave us a kitten ......turned out  a very useful ratter.

That's original, Tiz.

[happygolucky]

My first wedding was in 1972, we had fitted carpet a fridge from the in laws and a double bed and kitchen table and chairs from my parents, we did not have a list and got loads of  glasses, pots, blankets (pre duvet one from the local road sweeper and I still have it, in fact thats the only thing I do have!!  It was great unpacking stuff afer our honey moon, then this time  , the gift of my family all around!!! 

[Backinwellies]

Well idea of cow circulated ... seems to have been well received  .... what fun    a reason to start with a cow if we ever get through this property selling/buying business!!  (think local searches are for Father Christmas and the tooth fairy!!)  . At current speed we will be moving on wedding day!!

Linda

[goosepimple]

We never got married, but we've been together for 20 years next month, so no pressies ever. 
Often I've said at Christmas it would be nice to have some 'best' stuff rather than the same old same old, but then I forget about it after a couple of glasses of mulled wine.  Think I am going to buy some nice Egyptian cotton sheets in the sales though, at the end of a shattering day I love my bed.
 
People still say to me 'you should get married', at 50 with 2 kids, what on earth for?  I like my make do and mend.

[Backinwellies]

Goosepimple
A friend of mine said exactly the same thing till they went to make wills to find the only way to ensure their other half inherited (and thus the house was secured) was to get married..... this they promptly did. 
Possibly something to check out?

Linda

[goosepimple]

It all goes to our kids and they still like us (but they're not teenagers yet) 

[happygolucky]

We were together for 18 years before we married, 2 years ago around Christmas....as my husband is 21 years younger we did not want to get to the situation of saying boyfriend, girlfriend, partner etc etc, and if one went into hospital it was a worry that they would not contact the other as next of kin, and for legal reasons, I know they probaly would but it certainly made us feel more a couple and we so love being married.....it sort of completes our love 

[Sylvia]

My son and daughter in law asked for donations to RNLI as wedding gifts.

[doganjo]

Goosepimple
A friend of mine said exactly the same thing till they went to make wills to find the only way to ensure their other half inherited (and thus the house was secured) was to get married..... this they promptly did. 
Possibly something to check out?

Linda

Not true - certainly not in Scotland at any rate.  Ensure your deeds have a 'survivor' clause in them.  Ours did and our house was immediately mine the second John died - I didn't know it was there until his brother tried to take it from me as executor ad sell it so he could have his half.  My lawyer stopped him right in his tracks! 

Just found a link with this information -    

Joint ownership with a survivorship clause/destination. Here, you split the ownership of the property 50:50 with your husband or partner. If you include a legal clause on the title deeds called a ‘survivorship clause’ or a ‘survivorship destination’, you also agree that your share of the property will pass to your partner or husband when you die. This overrides any will you might make and means that intestacy rules don’t apply. It’s similar to the joint tenants system of ownership in England and Wales.

http://www.savvywoman.co.uk/c4-pages/c4s2.php?art_id=46

[Backinwellies]

In my friends case  her partner (now husband) has a daughter from his first marriage who, they were told by the solicitor when they went to make will, would have right to his estate over and above my friend.

Linda

[doganjo]

Well that information is fact and is certainly what happened to us, and I had two children, so if I had died first our property would have gone straight into John's ownership without being taken into my estate at all.  Had I realised that prior to John's death I would have had that survivorship clause removed from our deeds if possible.

Perhaps your friend should check again, Linda?  Although if they are now married that will have changed things.
Annie