[funkyfish]

We had a lot of lovely gifts, most of which were things for the wedding (only had 50 people), a close friend bought my flowers (has a contact a Covent garden Market)- and another friend arranged them. A friends brother who has a very nice car drove me and my dad. My family laid on a beautiful reception at my parents cottage. Other friends who wanted to give something gave money to cancer reserch ( my mum was terminally ill at the time).
I loved that so many people helped us out, it meant that we had thi gs for our wedding we would not have chosen, but were just perfect as our friends know us so well!

[Lesley Silvester]

We had both come out of divorces so didn't have a lot but we didn't want to be greedy so we set up a list at Argos s people could look through the catalogue and choose something they could afford.  We had things costing from £5 upwards.

When I first got married, I desperately wanted a canteen of cutlery but my mum thought they were a waste of money as you paid so much for the actual box.  So she told people to get loose cutlery.  Years later my son bought me a canteen of cutlery which I love.

[Birdie Wife]

I got married just over 4 years ago. We don't have much money so many of our friends and family contributed to the wedding in diffferent ways - the flowers came from one neighbours garden, another (professional hairdresser) neighbour did my hair and makeup, another who worked at a sporting estate gave us a large bag of game for the reception. The church was free as I was an elder at the time, as was the accomodation for the reception because we went to friends of ours who own a small inn in the Highlands where we regularly go for ceilidhs and charity musical evenings. Another good friend provide several bottles of champagne for the toast. It made the day so special. We managed to do the whoel thing for around £1000, and that's because I wanted to splash out on rings (£450, nearly half the total!).
 
We didn't ask for any gifts, but many people did give us something. One that we still regularly use is a breadmaker (so much cheaper than buying bread), but most of all the memories of the day will be with us forever. Just goes to show you don't have to spend a lot - it really was the happiest day of my life.

[feldar]

Hubby and I got married in July this year, both of us have been married before, so we said no gifts please just come and enjoy the day with us.
Poeple were so lovely and bought us gifts anyway i think it is just traditional that a gift is given. We found mostly we had picture frames given to us for photos and these have been really useful, i don't think you can ever have enough pictures around the house.
One friend bought us a sheep money box for all our change! priceless!!
I really enjoyed my second wedding it was so low key with everyone just enjoying the day rather than the big white wedding.

[Welshcob]

We got married last year and because we already had most things that we needed, we thought to ask people to just bring themselves (my half of family had to come all the way to Edinburgh from Italy), and if they really wanted to give us something, to help us with honeymoon moneys - we went to Madeira for two weeks 

The things we would have liked, were as I said, stuff we would have liked but not most necessary (I had been squirreling away towels and tea cloths and bed linen long before I met my actual husband!).

It was most welcome to see that some people still gave us beautiful things like a La Creuset pot, a big ceramic mixing bowl that we use literally every day, the most awaited for canteen of cutlery from Granny (this one arrived in 4 months before the wedding!!!) and best of all (FW will like this  ) a magnificently warm goose down duvet from the Italian Alps. My mum spent a fortune on it and I'm ever more grateful because I know she's not loaded.

Then the MIL and partner gave us a fat checque to pay for wedding expenses (we bough all the wine with it!) and she cooked food for the WHOLE wedding reception - a good 80 people. She's been fab. To this day my dad is still in awe of her and feels guilty that he should have paid for the wedding himself (we paid most of it ourselves though).
Also another good friend of us offered to advance the money for the decorations and when I wanted to pay her back, she never wanted anything! On top of the present she already got for us.

So overall, really you don't need a wedding list and I think I'm happier we got totally random surprises!

[doganjo]

When Sandy and i got engaged in 1965, my Mum and Dad gave us an engagement present of an ottoman - as my 'bottom drawer'  We used to buy groceries that had tokens so that we could get the 'gifts' they offered - my Mum saved K Corn Flakes tokens and gave me a set of initialled silver plated fish forks and knives which I still have,  In those days (1968 we got married, a long engagement as we were both studying  )  wedding gifts were of much less value than now - tea towels, sheets, pillowcases, tea plates, we had two friends give us coffee sets - then they went out of fashion.   The biggest gift was from my parents - a second hand washing machine (because my cousin's husband refurbished them!), as well as paying for the wedding for 80 guests in a posh Aberdeen Hotel, as they did my sister's.  I've often wondered how they did it on a postie's wages!  One of my treasured possessions is a crystal vase - from one of Sandy's Mum's friends, it is beautiful and I believe it may have been her own as she was a widow and hadn't much money.  There was none of these huge expensive lists, and we were so honoured to be able to use rooms in my Grandma's home for the first few months till we got a place of our own.

[benkt]

We had lived together for years before getting married and had also inherited all of my 'father-in-law's stuff a few years before so we said if people wanted to do something, to put money into an account with a piano shop. When we got back from the honeymoon we went and chose a little piano which is next to me now. My wife plays it and hopefully as the kids get a bit bigger they can learn too - definitely something that will last a lifetime and that we could never have afforded for ourselves.

[Backinwellies]

Very interested in this thread (maybe cos I'm one of the 2 getting married!) .............   as our wedding will be just after we aquire our small holding (if the solicitors get their act together!) we have thoughts of having a 'send a cow to Wales' fund. 

 It is so difficult to get this right ..... we are happy just to have evryone there on the day and receive nothing but really dont want to be given a collection of 'lovely things' ..... having spent the last 2 months getting rid of 'stuff' so we will fit our two houses into the small house on our smallholding. We already have 2 of everything except toaster (mine blew up a few weeks ago).      Any suggestions as to how to direct anyone who wishes to give us something,  to our cow fund without sounding as if we are asking for presents? 

Linda

[SallyintNorth]

Linda, I would just put in a note saying exactly what you just said.  Your true friends will do as you wish and either just help you enjoy the day, and/or make a contribution to the House Cows Fund. 

[Fleecewife]

Hi Linda - you are number three    (that I know of....)
 
I think most people will be delighted to contribute to something as different as the Cow Fund - it will give them plenty to talk about     Then you can give them updates as the months pass.   It will give them a tiny toehold in your smallholding life - much more interesting than giving another casserole dish 

[luckylady]

Linda, I would just put in a note saying exactly what you just said.  Your true friends will do as you wish and either just help you enjoy the day, and/or make a contribution to the House Cows Fund. 

What Sally said. 

[Anke]

Our best wedding gift was a complete set of OS landranger maps of Scotland, bought in ones and two's by our friends in the Conservation group where we met originally. At the time we were keen hill walkers and wild campers (still are but such activities are currently suspended due to goats, other livestock and the human children... ).
But I use the maps regularly (no way I will ever have a tomtom or such like), and whenever we go anywhere in England the first thing we will buy is an OS map!

[Shnoowie]

I'm quite uncomfortable with the thought of writing a list of wedding gifts!  Tim and I don't really need anything and wouldn't want people spending money on our whims (for example, a dehydrator or ice cream machine that'll get used once!).  Nice bedlinen would see us straight though, especially for future foster children!


A cow fund is a great idea...maybe we should have a chicken or sheep one!

[Bionic]

Linda,
I like the idea of the cow fund too.  When you send the invites you could say that you just want the pleasure of their company to share your day but if they still feel they want to give something then a contribution to the cow fund would be gratefully received.
Sally

[Lesley Silvester]

I agree with what has been said.  Make it plain that it's their company that matters and add 'a but if anyone really wants to give us anything, what we would really like is...'