thought I'd just update this thread to bring it to a conclusion on our experiences taking our three pigs to slaughter.
The last two pigs of our trio were slaughtered this morning - both 9.5 months. It went better in many respects than before, in that we took them to the lairage yesterday so avoiding the noise and haste on slaughter day today and we were able to get them out of the trailer on our own without interference.
But unfortunately they did not want to come out of the trailer. Not at all. 300kg + of reticent porkers. In the end we had to turn them around and use a board in front of their faces to encourage them out backwards. Forwards they just put the brakes on, and my husband learnt that a pig with its brakes on is not to be messed with and put his back out trying to push them. They had the brakes on all the way, which made it worse. It took about 20 minutes.
So, unloading them was a bit stressful, and they ended up in a small pen, which I was not happy with. When we left, there must have been 10+ smallholders' vehicles lined up down the street with several animals in each. God only knows how they fitted them all in.
I'm not convinced the lairage facilities at this abattoir are big enough to take all of the animals that are turning up the night before, and our pigs hardly had any room in their pen to turn, so I think if there is ever a next time we'll be trying elsewhere. There was a bigger pen inside the building, which presumably ended up having mixed loads of animals in there.
I can't believe how quiet it is in the paddock. No snuffles or excited snorts any more. Nothing tearing around excited to see me (well apart from the chickens). Had a bit of a cry. I really do miss them, to the point of looking for more pigs this morning just to have something there, but am holding off doing anything for a while as we will have too much pork (we have enough for at least a year), they are expensive to rescue and keep as pets, and trying to rear pigs for other people (either weaners or full grown) is not an avenue we want to go down.
I've loved keeping them but hated killing them and I can't ever see me getting used to that side of things. The guilt is phenomenally powerful.
Does this mean I'm not cut out for this? Not sure...DH doesn't feel guilt - he says they had a great life, much better the majority of pigs get, and they were spoiled rotten.