[Louise Gaunt]

When I was working in healthcare I always addressed the patient as Mr. Mrs. Miss Surname, and introduced myself as Dr Gaunt. If they asked to be addressed by their first name, I offered my name as well. I don't use my first name as I don't lie it, and have never been called by it, but all healthcare professionals insist on calling me Martha, and that is just not me! Now I am retired from healthcare I am either Mrs Gaunt or Louise, nothing else!

[Lesley Silvester]

It annoys me a bit although I don't mind as much if it's a doctor/nurse I see regularly. My mother flatly refuses to call any professional by their first name and she says it lacks respect and insists on doctor or nurse, etc. She doesn't mind them using her first name as she thinks she is not as important as them, which annoys me.


I agree with Linda that it's annoying when salesmen do it. They ask for me by both names - no title - and then immediately give their first name and start to use mine. I'm tempted to tell them I'm Mrs... to them but, as I'm about to hang up on them, I don't bother. What I hate more than anything is when people abbreviate my name. I am Lesley and that is all I answer to.


I worked in a care home where I was told that one lady, name of Isabel, was always known as Isa so that is what I called her. It was her son who said that she had never been called Isa until she moved in the home.

[Fleecewife]

I go by Juliet  .

Ah, that's okay then cos that's what I call you! When you said 'first given name' I thought you meant Juliet. 

That's because I don't tell anyone my first name, but it is written on legal documents, hospital notes etc.  It's a perfectly normal name but has unpleasant memories for me.  I see I'm not the only one on here who dislikes their first name.   

[Blondie]

As a teacher, I get sick of being called Miss...... When I'm out of school I would MUCH rather be called by my given name even if I'm normally called by a shorten version of it.

I get married later in the year and will become Mrs X. Mrs X is my mothering law so it will take a long time to get use to that!

[ellied]

That's because I don't tell anyone my first name, but it is written on legal documents, hospital notes etc.  It's a perfectly normal name but has unpleasant memories for me.  I see I'm not the only one on here who dislikes their first name.   

Indeed no you're not.  I gave up my given name the first night at university because nobody could remember or say it correctly and at school you don't realise it's 'difficult' because you're there so long.  Working in Germany it had been slightly butchered but I put that down to accent.  Arriving at uni I realised it was 'too hard' and when our sub-warden in residences, a geordie guy called Dave, said could he just shorten it to Ellie, I agreed instantly and have been known as that ever since - I did get to choose how to spell it, tho I get Elle, Ele, Eli, Elly and all sorts it doesn't really matter because it's just a name.  Medical and other professionals do still attempt the legal name because it's what they have, but I try and get the notes amended to aka Ellie as often as I can - dealing with a LOT of them over time it isn't always easy and my dratted GP refuses to call me anything else which is part of why I don't respect him either, he just doesn't listen even when I correct him very politely on every visit - sadly he doesn't listen much to anything else I say either, which is why I see others in the practice now if given a choice.

What I do dislike intensely is being called Miss.  Legally it may be correct but that name was my elderly maiden aunt who was a music teacher at a private girls' school.  Despite not being married I am over 50 and prefer the Scottish honorific of Mrs which I'm not entitled to but am given as an adult woman.  Miss makes me feel like a schoolkid or my Aunt, neither of which is a good experience!  And in historic correctness my older unmarried sister is Miss D, I'm Miss A D, but who's being pedantic, I don't like Miss or A so Ellie is fine, please!

[Ina]

I try to avoid any contact with health services whenever possible... But if somebody calls me by my first name, I expect to call them by their first names, too. It helps if within the organisation the bosses don't get called by their surnames when they use first names for the "lower orders". At my dentist's, for example, they all call each other by first names, and the patients as well, so that's ok with me.

I got rather pee'd off the other day when I had to fill in a form and had the choice of Mrs or Miss. That's basically asking me whether I'm married - that's none of their business - they don't ask men whether they are married, do they? Sometimes you wonder whether we are back in the middle ages, or at least in the middle of last century... 

[Fleecewife]

.....and if you just write your given and family names then you will automatically be called Mr  .  Computers can't seem to cope with blank squares.

[Lesley Silvester]

Thinking about it, it also annoys me when people give their first names only and then call me Mrs even when I have given my first name. Our vets do that and I've also had some health professionals do it. I'd far prefer things to be equal and both be (title) (surname) or first names, preferably the latter.

[Fleecewife]

Thinking about it, it also annoys me when people give their first names only and then call me Mrs even when I have given my first name. Our vets do that and I've also had some health professionals do it. I'd far prefer things to be equal and both be (title) (surname) or first names, preferably the latter.

Yes, that's what I'm getting at - whichever, it should be across the board.

[SallyintNorth]

Equality rules.  I've never worked anywhere where the bosses were Mr.  (And they always were male; I didn't see a female boss until I became one myself!).

I had one young man took a while to get used to calling me Sally; he seemed to prefer to call me 'Boss', which I didn't mind, as it was done in a good-natured way.

I've been asked my preference at hospital recently, and been given first names by the staff helping me. 

What infuriates me is being called Mrs.  None of their business.  I use Ms, and did throughout, when I was single, married and now divorced.  I don't mind a bit if other people want to be Mrs or Miss, but I claim the right to be Ms for myself.

I even considered doing a PhD just so I could be the non-gender-specific Dr !  (I'd never have the stickability to complete a PhD, even if anyone would give me a chance at one.)

I often don't correct people who call me Mrs BH, though - how do you do that without getting into,"We live together but we're not married"?  Which is none of their dang beeswax!

[Foobar]

I don't care which is used as long as they are polite.
Miss and Mrs should be banned though and we should just have Mr & Ms!

[Fleecewife]

Lets have Mister and Mistress  - that would get them thinking, but it's the original form before shortening.  Actually no, I prefer given name plus family name, and if you're a doctor or whatever, then that can come after who you are.  Obviously though everyone has their own preferences, so best just to ask.

[Ina]

I've also always found it unfair that young women would be called "Miss firstname" - nobody ever used "Mr firstname" - or did they? Seemed to be perfectly OK to say Miss Annie, but not Mr Davie... All part an parcel of keeping females in their place (even if it's subconscious in most cases these days...)

I once had a slight disagreement with an estate agent. I'd requested a brochure for a property they were offering for sale. After I'd not heard anything from them for a week, I reminded them (all by email). Reply: Oh - but we've sent it to your husband already! Me: Could you please introduce me to that gentleman, as I've not met him yet? Also - could you please point out on your website that you refuse to deal with single women, as I could have saved myself a lot of time and aggro??? 

In the end, they sent two brochures. Didn't get an apology, though.

[devonlad]

I cant say I'm terribly fussed though I do have an intense dislike of the "sir" often adopted by people trying to sell me something I don't want. If it was genuinely respectful I'd prob not mind so much but I'm convinced its on page one of the salesman's handbook and always feels smarmy.
Generally I tend to think respect  ( or disrespect) is shown in far more ways than whether they call me Mr or not. I'm in my early fifties and still tend to think of my dad as Mr E..... . Oddly however when I drove him to a doctors appointment recently they addressed him as Michael, which just seemed wrong to me. I asked him about it afterwards and how he felt about it his response was " did they, I didn't notice, I was far too worried about seeing the Dr "

[SallyintNorth]

When my mum was in hospital a few years ago, the staff were calling her by her given name.  I asked her if she minded, should I ask them to use the shortened form, which is what she uses herself, and she said she didn't mind, she quite liked it.  I'm wondering now if she'd prefer if everyone else called her by the whole name!