[Fleecewife]

So, you walk into your GP's surgery and he or she says 'Good morning Jane, how can I help you'?  'Well, doctor... you begin.
You walk into the consulting office of your hospital specialist and he or she says 'Good morning Jane.  How have you been since the last time I saw you?'   'Well, Dr.......' you begin.
You are admitted to hospital and the admitting nurse says ' Hello Jane, I'm Sister Black'...and so on.

Are you getting the picture?  When we are on the receiving end of health care, we the patient are automatically addressed by our given name, whereas the health care professionals introduce themselves with their honorific plus surname.  If you addressed your consultant by his given name he would choke on his tie.

I worked in hospital health care for my whole career so I know the stock answers. 'It's much friendlier to use first names when people come into hospital'  (applied only to the patient and some nurses, physios and so on once you've been there for a while).  'patients much prefer to be called by their given name'  But do they really?  Many older people really do not like it, and prefer to be called Mr or Mrs, Sir or lady, whatever, plus their surname.  At the very least it would be nice to be asked how you would like to be addressed.  Using the given name for everyone, without asking has only really occurred in the last 20 or 30 years.
 
Why then do the care givers of every kind prefer to be given their honorific plus surname?  There are for example very few doctors who will introduce themselves 'good morning Mrs Jones - I'm Jimmie your registrar.  How would you like me to address you?'

There is also something of a hierarchy within the hospital too - many medics will call nurses by their given names, when they remember them, but definitely do no expect said nurses to reciprocate.  Same with secretaries - they get their given name, but call their bosses by their honorifics.

If you try to analyse it then you must conclude that it is just as unfriendly and gives a sense of 'I'm the medic, you're just a lesser being'.  I do find it so disrespectful to patients, creating and perpetuating the superior versus inferior relationship.  It also annoys the backside off me when I am addressed by my first given name as I never use it, and hate it  .  So far from being friendly, calling me by my first given name is almost offensive.

Here on TAS we have a really wide spread of young and old, health care professionals and people who have been on the receiving end of health care.  What do you think of this question?  Do you feel spoken down to when you are called by your given name whereas the staff are formal and expect the use of their full title?   Or do you feel it's friendly to be automatically called by your first name but you wouldn't expect to call your doctor by his/her/its given name,  and I'm just old fashioned and a wittering old woman?

[Buttermilk]

My son was a frequent visitor to the childrens ward, at least once a week for several years.  The nurses were always known as nurse Jane ect, the sister was sister Sally and the doctors were called Dr Susie or whoever.  Sister Sally never gave the surname of the junior doctors and those she did not like she never gave the first name of the parents to, as some of the rotated junior doctors had a very inflated opinion of themselves.  It worked and reasured the children at the same time.

At the other end of the scale with elderly relatives with dementia their name was one thing they seemed to hang onto, except for Mrs Jenkinson the ex school teacher who pointed out to everyone that she was very definitely MRS JENKINSON and no first names were allowed.  You could see everyone pull their socks up when she corrected them.

The ones I realy felt sorry for were the people who had never been known by their first names and they just looked bewildered when people used them.  I discovered that my Aunt Jill was actually called Catherine when she had a heart attack, she had no idea that she was the one being adressed,  Mother in Law was called Rosie at the care home and only at the funeral did the staff discover that everyone else knew her as Mary.

A lot depends on how formal the person has been throughout their lives.  If someone has been known as Auntie Annie to the whole village suddenly calling her Mrs McDonald will throw both her and them.

[Backinwellies]

personally hate it when I get the 'salesman' approach from anyone ... ie  use your name (first name if they can) in every sentence

[doganjo]

My Doctor, Consultant and nurses at the practice all use surnames, but the nurses have taken so much blood off me that we're on first name terms now.  I don't want my GP to call me by my first name - a bit too personal when he is physically examining me I thin, same with my consultant.  JMHO

[Jullienne]

I can't really remember what my GP calls me but they call my mum and dad by mr and mrs and we're good friends too. I find it quite nice being called by my name by them, but by what you're saying I think there are definitely superiority issues, but thats human nature. On this basis I vote we call everyone by first names, in any health service or workplace. Imagine calling your boss, so Andrew how are you today, instead of mr white

[Q]

Doesn't bother me in the slightest either way and has never crossed my mind til now.  So much more important stuff in life to think about. 

[Bionic]

It doesn't bother me what they call me so long as they do a good job.

I think the reason that Dr's and others like to use their surname is that it gives an air of professionalism.

[devonlady]

Whether doctor, consultant, police officer, lord, lady or whatever, I call them "dear". They may well be offended or bewildered but it puts us all on an equal footing. (I think)

[mowhaugh]

My recent healthcare experiences have all been to do with my daughter - all the nurses and support workers have been called by their first names, and her doctor is Dr Duncan - I actually have no idea if that's his first name or surname! All the staff call my daughter Isobel, and me Mummy!

[Black Sheep]

I introduce myself to patients with my first name only and profession, so that they know who they are seeing. I don't tend to use their name at that stage - I'm introducing myself after all. Where I'm not sure how they prefer to be addressed I will ask something like "Can I check your name and date of birth?" and see what they use.

Some patients then use my first name, some rigidly stick to Mr ... - I'm easy with whatever they are comfortable with. After all, I'm generally not the person that needs to be put at ease.

[Dan]

I just want to know what I should call you in person FW! 

[Rosemary]

In my last job at Clackmannanshire Council, everyone, from CE across the board was known by their first name, as were elected members. Respect doesn't come with a title.

[Fleecewife]

I just want to know what I should call you in person FW! 

Oh Madam will do fine Dan 


I go by Juliet  .

Actually I hate being called Mrs ... because that was my mother in law, and I try to be as unlike her as possible 

[nutterly_uts]

Very interesting thread I work in healthcare and I do try to greet patients with "Mr/Mrs X" but sometimes I do start with their first name, and I am bad at telling them who I am (I do wear a badge). I am going to really try to check myself this week and improve.

With my job, I greet people who have checked in else where and take paperwork from them, before asking them to get changed. I have not managed to find a way of getting my name into the conversation without it seeming really contrived but I am going to make a real effort now

[Dan]

I go by Juliet  .

Ah, that's okay then cos that's what I call you! When you said 'first given name' I thought you meant Juliet.