Be warned, if you sing this in your local there'll be a fatwa out on you from the local feminist collective.
You'll have to Google for the tune.
McBreens Heifer lyrics And Music Percy French
McBreen had two daughters, and each one in turn
Was offered in marriage to Jamesy O'Burn.
Now Kitty was pretty but Jane she was plain,
So to make up the differ, McBreen would explain.
He'd give the best heifer he had on the land,
As a sort of a bonus with Jane, understand.
But then Kitty would charrum a bird off a bush,
And that left the lad in a horrid non-plush.
CHORUS:
Now there's no denyin' Kitty was remarkably pretty,
Tho' I can't say the same for Jane,
But still there's not the differ of the price of a heifer,
Between the pretty and the plain.
Entirely bothered was Jamsey O'Burn,
He thought that he'd give the schoolmaster a turn.
Sez he "to wed Kitty is very good fun,
Still a heifer's a heifer when all's said an' done.
A girl she might lose her good looks anyhow,
And a heifer might grow to an elegant cow.
But still there's no price for the stock, d'ye mind,
And Jane has a face that the Divil designed."
CHORUS:
Now there's no denyin' Kitty was remarkably pretty,
Tho' I can't say the same for Jane,
But still there's not the differ of the price of a heifer,
Between the pretty and the plain.
The schoolmaster said, with a good deal of sinse,
"We'll reduce the two girls to shillin's an' pence;
Add the price of the heifer, then Jane, I'll be bound,
Will come out on top by a couple o' pound.
But still I'm forgettin' that down in Glengall,
The stock is just goin' for nothin' at all."
So Jim thought he'd wait till the end of the year,
Till girls might be cheaper or stock might be dear.
There's a verse missing - something along the lines of "when he came for Kittey, she was married to McVitty and McGee had appropriated Jane, So whatever is the differ in the price of heifir is a thing that he never could explain". Sorry, you'll have to search the web for it and I should be out fixing a hole in the henrun. Cheers Muc