We won't laugh - thats a sensible question.
Off the top of my head, there is the stewardship scheme, which I looked into. It is all about management of your land. We decided not to bother, because there were too many rules. They would not pay if your gate ways got poached, or if you fed hay etc. out in the field. We, and our animals would basically be too untidy to claim the money on this!!
There is the single payment scheme, but not sure what the minimum land requirement is.
My neighbour has just got a grant for rebuilding dry stone walls, which I did not know you could get ......could do with that one myself.
To get most of these grants you would probably need to be a registered smallholding, and have a certain amount of land which you could prove was used for farming.
I suggest you look at the DEFRA website, where there may be information and details on how to claim any grants going.