So, I think I've just about recovered now, but this course was definitely not for the faint hearted (none of the usual cute photos of lambies and reassuring talk here)! The morning was delivered classroom style with good handout notes and the lecturer working with an overhead projector (I haven't seen one of those for 15 years
).
The tutor was very knowledgeable and gave numerous non-obvious tips about all aspects of lambing and lamb care. He even took my daft questions in his stride, for example:
Lecturer: "For scours, you can give an enema of liquid paraffin or warm soapy water. Or you could try a natural yoghurt".
Womble: "Do you mean a yoghurt enema?"
Lecturer: "Er, no. I'd just give that by mouth if it were me".
The afternoon was a practical session, delivered thoughtfully just after lunch, where four dead lambs were underemoniusly dumped onto the floor from a binbag and the lecturer said "At the last course, two people fainted when I did this". Now, call it the power of suggestion, but I'm afraid I spent the next five minutes trying very hard not to faint!
We then spent an hour practicing giving glucose injections, inserting stomach tubes and applying elastrators to the dead lambs.
They were also used in lambing simulators. These were basically ewe-sized boxes that the lambs were put into in various different positions, and a bucket of warm water added to make them extra slippery. A macabre party game then ensued where we had to put our hands in through a vagina sized hole in the side of the box to see which bits of lamb you could feel and hence which way round it was, before trying to manover the lamb round into the correct birthing position.
So, did I enjoy this course? No, absolutely not! Definitely the worst day off work I've ever had! I've never heard the word Vulva so many times in my life, and I really wondered what the hell I was doing there when being exhorted to lever a dead lamb's head around by putting my fingers into its eye socket, before trying to grab its head with a loop of electrical flex!
Was it worthwhile? Yes, absolutely. It's taken a lot of the fear away for me, and I now feel I have a good idea of what I'll be capable of dealing with myself, and what I'd have to call a neighbour or the vet for.
As I may have mentioned, It really wasn't for the squeamish or faint hearted though. I've never had the strongest stomach (i'm getting better, having now gutted a hundred or so chickens). However, if I'd attended this course three years ago, I definitely would have passed out or been sick.
Cudos to the lady who came on the course just because she was interested, and had no plans for getting any sheep of her own. I wonder if the day changed her mind?