I like it .
When M & F in laws died in Canada it was recorded in their last will & testament wish dated March 1975 that they were to be cremated ..No family , No followers or hangers on etc. etc. No religious mumbo jumbo , just open the van doors and slide the occupied paper casket into the toaster. ( Eric was a fair part Inuit , so never bothered with any form of religion , Anne was much the same )
Both of them said many times over , that they never saw the point in wasting good money on a stiff, when it could be better be used by those left behind.
Well, Eric died first aged 84 , everything was put into motion by the family's solicitors & off he went on his last burn up .
When we rang her the day we found out that Eric had died and been cremated two days previously MIL said , " It was no fuss, a lovely day to sit in the garden and think of the good times " . " She said she was, " OK , I have no regrets or sorrows just lots of pleasant memories and a good financial provision"
MIL died 6 years later . As said ,everything that could be arranged had been done years before , so just like Eric it was out the van & into the toaster that she went.
A few weeks later we get this Rectoral type demanding that we now pay for the ashes to be sent to us in South Wales & that we could chose the options from their website. Prices varied from $ 500 Canadian to 17 thousand for ornate gold leaf ceramic urns & a church service etc. etc..
Alison was a bit taken aback and after a quick explanation to me , handed the phone over to me.
I said , " We don't want the ashes , just put them in the waste disposal or in the dust bin for FIL &MIL didn't ever want us to have such mawkish things and we certainly don't believe in such silly superstitious nonsense as keeping bits of dead relatives around the place.
" Oh .... Then , You must have the non denominational garden of rest ceremony . We will sprinkle the ashes in a nominated 7 recorded plot for $3,000 dollars ( £1500 ish ) " , he said.
I was getting a bit irritated by now and said ," How about .... As you're company cremated her husband Eric six years earlier , you sprinkle her ashes on the plot that has already been paid for by putting them with him if you're so keen on doing something other than what I'm asking . I take it you do have the plot reference number to hand or can easily retrieve it from your computerised records ".
A long pregnant pause followed .. I'm afraid I can't do that Sir, we must only have one set of ashes per plot , we are not allowed to mix them up.
" Fine " , I said , " In that case you can shove them up your arse in an urn or a big ornate carved box which ever you choose . For Eric ashes never left the crematorium other than in the dustbin. Eric and Anne would chuckle at the thought of causing someone like you great personal discomfort.
The ashes were never offered again , nor was there any charges to the estate for their disposal above the basic charge of collect deceased from morgue & the cremation fee .
I bet that shyster at the funeral directors was spitting feathers at being left with the dust.
Honest ...what else ought you to do when following the last will and testament guide for someone who died nearly 5,000 miles away ?
Topic: Idea for a small business (Read 4196 times)
