[pgkevet]

Yesterday my wife came back from the barn and informed me that 25kg sacks somehow weigh more now than they did three years ago.

Naturally I po-poo'ed that along with a lesson in the difference between weight and mass and women's inability to recognise weight gain even with the bathroom scales. And indeed the general flaws women have regarding anything to do with size.  the upshot was a quiet night undisturbed by snoring

Today after drenching our pet sheep I pointed out some new fungi halfway up middle field hill. Wife then informed me that she is sure that's a lot further to walk than it was three years ago.......

So this got me to thinking how to prove or disprove that.

I mean she may have a point. The universe is expanding and it may well be that our globe is expanding too. And naturally any conventional measuring device would also expand and effectively measure the same. If indeed the globe has expanded then that in itself wouldn't explian the sheep nuts weighing more unless there was a change in gravity affecting their mass.

Of course now that we have discovered dark matter one might speculate that the interstices of the expanding globe have become infused with dark matter which would indeed make the earth weigh more and increase gravity. Now I can test that easily enough. Gravity is also measured by it's acceleration but however many times I've thrown the wife off the house roof this morning I can't get any measure above the 32ft/sec^2 (for us aged imperialists). Which is interesting becaue if it had increased then time would obviously slow - but then again I do seem to have been married an awfully long time and my lunch shows no sign of being ready...

My alternative hypothesis has to do with an influx of Higgs bosons. Now that should be a massless particle but by acting against the higgs field it produces the effect of mass. Which make sme wonder why it took so long for physicists to prove the existence of the Higgs boson when you can now buy it as a supplement in bags of sheep nuts.....

[Lesley Silvester]

I was very confused by the last part of that, then realised I was reading it as Higg's bosoms. 

[pgkevet]

I was very confused by the last part of that, then realised I was reading it as Higg's bosoms. 

If that was Mrs Higgs' one would hope it wasn't massless

[john and helen]

In one way, i take my hat off to you…in the other, i am wondering why you are trying to understand a woman.or even worse, trying to prove to understand a woman…… simple Physics show there was a big bang…. all the perfect particles swam around space for billions of years until…the day woman walked on the planet..then there was another big bang…. woman received these particles….

we men received the dregs, giving us the ability to say…YES DEAR 

[jaykay]

It seems to me that what happens is that gravity is stronger the older you get. You only have to watch an oldster getting out of a chair, compared with a child skipping and jumping, to see that gravity is pulling harder on the older person, and by extension, anything they are lifting.
Therefore, walking up a slope is also affected, since gravity is pulling you down the slope harder than it did when you were younger 

The mind:matter ratio is also involved here -with one decreasing and the other increasing, the ratio is altering significantly these days!

[pgkevet]

Some interesting hypotheses here.

I can't subscribe to the idea that Big Bang particles have had any favourable effect on women - although any decent chauvanist pig will tell you that's the best thing for them . Indeed if you look at the post-emancipation and women's votes situation: WWII, suez, korea, vietnam, soviet reinvasions czech and poland, assorted russian satellites and the middle east.. Well this really proves my long held view that women should have two votes each (on the grounds they can't make a rational decision) and then we do the opposite . Or in John's case it sounds like OH half already has 2 votes .

Now the idea that gravity has a selective effect with age? Now that's a novel idea that may well be true. Increased gravity as we know slows time down and the older you get it sure takes longer...

My OH thinks she has come up with a solution to the idea that gravity affects her more and therefore the sheep nuts. She has just postuating a Toy Boy who'll find it lighter whilst she finds out if age-effective gravity indeed makes her go down harder.....

[suziequeue]

That's very clever 

[Mammyshaz]

There is something wrong in the idea that time is slowing down! Christmas most certainly arrives much MUCH quicker these days than 40 years ago!! 

Gravity is certainly stronger now than it was. My body bits are pulled so much more downwards than they were 25 years ago 

[Buttermilk]

Ah Christmas is a mythical feast and survives on believeability, the more people that believe the bigger it gets.  When it was just a few religious folk who believed it was smaller and more inconspicuous so did not apear to be as frequent, now every child and retailer believes in it it is enormous and takes up far more time so everyone is aware of it happening.

[pgkevet]

Ah Christmas is a mythical feast ....

Hmmm...

I've never been gored by a mythical beast.. but certainly gorged by this feast..

[Rosemary]