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Author Topic: Dog Food  (Read 6264 times)

sheila

  • Joined Apr 2008
  • Mablethorpe Lincolnshire
Dog Food
« on: December 02, 2009, 07:36:23 pm »
:
 

Yesterday I was at my local

CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet

and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked

if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

 

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that

no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet

again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I

ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2

stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming

out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that

the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina

nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel

hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well

and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here

that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with

my story.)

 Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in

intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her

no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse

and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart

attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the

time in the world to think of daft things to say.

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2009, 08:15:43 pm »
Quote
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say

You better believe it!
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Rosemary

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Barry, Angus, Scotland
    • The Accidental Smallholder
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2009, 08:17:44 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

sandy

  • Guest
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2009, 09:33:44 pm »
 ;D >:( ;D

HappyHippy

  • Guest
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2009, 09:47:30 am »

OMG !!!
I'm rolling on the floor just thinking about it Sheila, LOL!
You're soooooo funny - wish I'd been there (still laughing!)

Sylvia

  • Joined Aug 2009
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2009, 10:02:11 am »
I needed a laugh today, you provided it! ;D ;D

carl

  • Joined Oct 2007
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2009, 11:02:36 am »
So funny, I wish I'd been there.
I had a woman ask me if I'd got a dog when I was actually carrying our lab puppy in the vet's waiting room. Naturally I said it was our cat who was stuck in a fancy dress costume, and she looked at me as though I was the stupid one.
 ::)
nowt as queer as folk.
 Empty seats always get people asking " is anyone sat there?" . Yes, it's the worlds smallest person!

chickenfeed

  • Guest
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2009, 11:55:58 am »
 ::) as my elderly nan always says ask a daft question and you get a daft answer ;)

we had a new coal man deliver 2 ton coal for the winter he asked if we had a fire ??? i said no the dog like chewing on it :dog:

jameslindsay

  • Joined Feb 2009
  • Nr St Andrews, Fife
  • "Blossom" one of my Pygmy Goats
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2009, 12:02:36 pm »
::) we had a new coal man deliver 2 ton coal for the winter he asked if we had a fire ??? i said no the dog like chewing on it :dog:

That did make me laugh ha ha ha :)

rbno22

  • Joined Dec 2009
  • West Ukraine
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2009, 12:29:21 pm »
wtf? lmao  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Legio Patria Nostre

r+lchick

  • Joined Sep 2009
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2009, 04:20:58 pm »
Needed cheering up today.  Great.  I'm glad you told her the truth.  I can imagine, in 1 hour, there would have been a queue for the dog food for other people to get "a quick fix".  Then again, I bet it would have taken less than 1 hour.  ----Lose 2 stone and not go hungry----- Just can't pass a lamp post.    :cat: :chook:

JulieS

  • Joined Mar 2009
  • Devon - EX39 5RF
    • Ford Mill Farm
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #11 on: December 03, 2009, 05:09:31 pm »
brilliant.....well done Sheila  ;D ;D ;D ;D

That was very quick thinking.........I always seem to think of witty things to say a couple of minutes too late! lol 
Pedigree GOS Pigs and Butchery for Smallholders.

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2009, 05:25:10 pm »
I'm sorry to burst the bubble but Sheila's post isn't original.  I had it in an email or two earlier this year - from America, and it wasn't the Co-op it was Walmart ;D ;D ;D
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Canadian Sheepfarmer

  • Joined Nov 2009
  • Manitoba, Canada.
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2009, 06:40:56 pm »
Yep, it was going around Canada this summer too, again at Walmart...

sheila

  • Joined Apr 2008
  • Mablethorpe Lincolnshire
Re: Dog Food
« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2009, 07:36:44 pm »
Have just realised that people thought I was the oerson in the co.op! O.M.G. There is no way that I could think quickly enough to say something like that! I just thought it was very funny!

 

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