The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: sheila on December 02, 2009, 07:36:23 pm
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Yesterday I was at my local
CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet
and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked
if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet
again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2
stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming
out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina
nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her
no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse
and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from the Co-op.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the
time in the world to think of daft things to say.
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Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say
You better believe it!(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Drinks/drinking.gif) (http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Holidays_and_Party/cookies-for-santa-052.gif)
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;D ;D ;D ;D
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;D >:( ;D
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(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Laughing/lol-045.gif)
OMG !!!
I'm rolling on the floor just thinking about it Sheila, LOL!
You're soooooo funny - wish I'd been there (still laughing!)
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I needed a laugh today, you provided it! ;D ;D
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So funny, I wish I'd been there.
I had a woman ask me if I'd got a dog when I was actually carrying our lab puppy in the vet's waiting room. Naturally I said it was our cat who was stuck in a fancy dress costume, and she looked at me as though I was the stupid one.
::)
nowt as queer as folk.
Empty seats always get people asking " is anyone sat there?" . Yes, it's the worlds smallest person!
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::) as my elderly nan always says ask a daft question and you get a daft answer ;)
we had a new coal man deliver 2 ton coal for the winter he asked if we had a fire ??? i said no the dog like chewing on it :dog:
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::) we had a new coal man deliver 2 ton coal for the winter he asked if we had a fire ??? i said no the dog like chewing on it :dog:
That did make me laugh ha ha ha :)
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wtf? lmao ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Needed cheering up today. Great. I'm glad you told her the truth. I can imagine, in 1 hour, there would have been a queue for the dog food for other people to get "a quick fix". Then again, I bet it would have taken less than 1 hour. ----Lose 2 stone and not go hungry----- Just can't pass a lamp post. :cat: :chook:
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brilliant.....well done Sheila ;D ;D ;D ;D
That was very quick thinking.........I always seem to think of witty things to say a couple of minutes too late! lol
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I'm sorry to burst the bubble but Sheila's post isn't original. I had it in an email or two earlier this year - from America, and it wasn't the Co-op it was Walmart ;D ;D ;D
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Yep, it was going around Canada this summer too, again at Walmart...
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Have just realised that people thought I was the oerson in the co.op! O.M.G. There is no way that I could think quickly enough to say something like that! I just thought it was very funny!
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It IS very funny, Sheila - I roared out loud the first time I saw it. Thank you for sharing it with us!