[Snoopy]

 At Sunday church, the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a
> larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the
> congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.
>
> Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago,
> stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a
> new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport
> their children!'
>
> The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
>
> Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says,‘If
> the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and
> establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education
> of his children!'
>
> More sighs and loud applause.
>
> Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar
> stays, I will give him sex.'
>
> There is total silence.
>
> The Preacher, blushing, asks her: Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and
> holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'
>
> Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his
> forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to
> side, while his wife replies:
>
> 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said,
>
> 'Fu k   him'. 

[Rosemary]