[Shropshirelass]

2 days ago I had a really nasty freak car accident where I hit oil on dry- wet roads - fortunately I'm ok although the car & my bank balance are otherwise. I'm a good driver & was driving well for the conditions & the road which I have driven hundreds of times before, & it just frustrates me when people automatically assume it was your fault somehow & keep re-iterating what you already know. I'm going back to work tomorrow & I know some people know & have been sympathetic but I am anxious  of facing people & again people I know at present.

How have any of you coped with nasty accidents in the past & the way people face you without it being awkward? I'm normally a very private but bubbly & outgoing person & like to get on with things so will probably immerse myself in my work x

[Rosemary]

Cry. That shuts them up 

[Shropshirelass]

I'm not really the crying sort of type & if I do it's normally in private or around a few v v close friends but thanks anyways xx

[Greenerlife]

I don't really understand why you should be bothered with other people's reactions?  Lots of people have accidents, and blame is given to those who have been drinking before, or been reckless, neither of which apply.  Only you know what actually happened and yes, you were unfortunate, but you are safe which is the most important thing, and freak accidents DO happen. Can't imagine why people would give you a hard time about it, and quite frankly, if they do, then they are not the kind of people you would want to be friends with anyway!  I am sure you will be able to take it in your stride.  Chin up and smile through it.

[Shropshirelass]

Thanks I think it's mainly because I work hard & live as good, honest life as I can & I care about what people think I'm not perfect but who is I'm just glad I wasn't badly hurt & that no1 else was involved x

[Bionic]

I had a very bad car accident (a long time ago now). It happened at 4.20am on a Sunday morning, after a party, when I was driving a friend home. Of course everyone assumed I had been drinking, but I had only had orange juice all night. If I am driving I never would have even one alcoholic drink but that doesn't stop the doubters making up their own minds.
Of course when the case came to court it was obvious from all the evidence that I was not to blame, but the court case didn't happen until 3 years down the line so it was a long time for the doubters to have their say.
Because of the accident I was unable to work for 22 months so I probably missed the worst of the gossip but whenever it was mentioned I just reiterated that I was not at fault.
You do not have to justify yourself to anyone at work but if you make it clear that you are not to blame then you will probably find that mostly they are just sympathetic to you.
I hope it all goes well for you.   

[Fleecewife]

I get a similar reaction to something in a different aspect of my life.  I have found that 'oh, you were there, were you', or 'you obviously know better than the Police - you'd better let them know then', has the desired effect of shutting people up.  Follow it with a big smile and get back to work.  You know the truth and really it's no-one else's business.

We have just had a speeding Traffic car and fire engine go past, so there's clearly been a bad accident along the road. Two sets of good friends have recently had horrific accidents and I don't care the least bit whose fault it was, if blame can be allocated at all.  So at the moment I'm all upset about road accidents and I'm so glad you are OK.

[Roxy]

Firstly, I am pleased you are ok.  I always say, vehicles can be replaced, lives can;t.  Although I appreciate the cost involved.
 
I have been the subject of local gossip for all sorts of reasons.  And to be honest, like me, you know the truth, so ignore them!!  I have been reducing the number of stock on my land, and offered a neighbour a paddock for her horse.  Now, people are saying I am being sued by someone for an absurd sum, and have to sell animals, land etc. to pay for it.
 
I was upset by these rumours, but decided to not let it bother me.  They will talking about someone else tomorrow.  I am sure your work mates (if they are any way decent) will be more concerned about how you are after the accident - not going on about what happened, and if its your fault!! 

[SallyintNorth]

Thanks I think it's mainly because I work hard & live as good, honest life as I can & I care about what people think I'm not perfect but who is I'm just glad I wasn't badly hurt & that no1 else was involved x

If you know that you work hard & live as good, honest life as you can, why do you worry about what people think? 

I bet you don't jump to conclusions and think the worst about other people.

So why be worried about the conclusions jumped to by those who do? 

I've had a couple of accidents where I have had to go to work either in a rumpled car, or on one occasion, arriving in a breakdown truck with my dog

On both occasions it was actually my fault; I hadn't been drinking or anything, just made a mistake.  (Different mistake on each occasion.)

No-one was anything other than truly lovely and completely supportive.  The Financial Director arranged for my dog to spend the day in his office, and sent his secretary to find something to use for a water bowl for him

All anyone cared about was that I was okay, that no-one else was hurt - and that the dog was okay! 

(And the FD had only just paid for that car too - it was my company car.  )

[cloddopper]

 :roflanim:Go back into work ,put a big picture of 8 cats on your desk and say 8 more to go then   laugh about it.

Whenever anyone does the old " I know " stuff ,nod start laughing and grinning then say I still have 8 lives to go .
 I wrote a brand new less than 300 miles on the clock 2 litre Ford Escort van off when I took out the centre support pole of a roundabouts left direction arrows signage & it  said, " Hello " to me .
The concrete block on the bottom of the post pivoted round the rest of the sign frame and in came through the window screen , missed me by a cats whisker width and went out the back doors of the van .
I was at fault , clocking about 85 mph when the heavens opened , 300 mtrs before the round about , by the time I'd  braked  & got the wipers on it was too late, I must have hit the sign at a good 40 mph plus despite my cadence braking technique.
 
 I've now only got four more lives left    because of four  other near death events happening to me . Yep life's good .... Innit ?

[john and helen]

To be totally honest with you…..why the hell are you worried about what others think…
life is far to short….just smile at them, and move on….you have nothing to prove to anyone, just yourself

people who talk about you or make some sort of silly comments
 would more than likely, not be on your friend list, so it makes no difference to what they say or think

[plumseverywhere]

In 10 years time, will what other people thought or said about you today matter? no, so deep breaths and shrug it off.  There's that famous quote "Its none of your business what other people think of you" - I try to remind myself of that each time I worry about others. To be honest, their lives must be dull if they have time to worry about something that doesn't affect them.
Head up, walk in, move on! 

[Lesley Silvester]

Glad you are ok, SL. My brother had the same thing happen to him some years ago. He didn't even see the oily patch so wasn't expecting to suddenly spin round and slew across the road. He was hurt and off work for some time but made a full recovery. I don't know if anyone was horrible about it or assumed it was his fault (he was known for having had a few 'mishaps' in the car) but the insurance company were happy that he was not to blame.


I like Fleecewife's "Oh you know better than the police then. You'd better let them know." It's the sort of answer I would give and it's the sort that shuts people up.


You know it wasn't your fault. The police know it wasn't your fault. That's all that matters.