[jameslindsay]

Yeserday a car pulled in to our car park and I saw an old man walk over towards the hotel. After a few moments he hadn't come in so I thought I would go see where he was. I noticed him standing out the side of the hotel and thought he must just be admiring the animals. However, a few minutes later he still had not come into the building so I went out to see he was ok. The dirty, filthy old bugger was standing up against one of the fences and peeing!!!!!!!!

To make it worse he was peeing in to the paddock where the hens and Pygmys are kept and right behind where he was was the chooks water bowl. I saw red and can't repeat what I said to this selfish, stupid person - is there no decency left?

[Rosemary]

Don't you have lavvies in your part of Fife? He coudl have just asked to use the toilets.

[ukag0972]

Dirty old minger!

[doganjo]

Probably an Aberdonian and wouldn't ask to use your loos in case you charged him for it.

I am allowed to say that as I am an Aberdonian but you had better not all agree with me 

[northfifeduckling]

OMG  time you start growing stuff, then you can put a sign up pointing to the compost heap - who doesn't want to ask for the loo, wee here (at least you won't have a fox come in that way now  ). just out of curiosity, what did he say when you affronted him so kindly?? 

[jameslindsay]

OMG  time you start growing stuff, then you can put a sign up pointing to the compost heap - who doesn't want to ask for the loo, wee here (at least you won't have a fox come in that way now  ). just out of curiosity, what did he say when you affronted him so kindly?? 

His exact words were "There is no need to shout" and ofcourse that made me worse.

[MiriMaran]

Yuk!  Last week I was working at a house on a housing estate that wanted the ivy of the side of their house.  As I was working, I was trying to work out what the horrible smell was and why the base of the ivy was so soggy.  It suddenly dawned on me it was a fairly discreet area for men to wee on their way back from the pub - AARRRGGGHHH!!!  I quickly donned the rubber gloves and didn't tell the owners of my suspisions!!

[sandy]

Men will pee anywhere!!!! You should have took a photo and told him you were going to use it as evidence, Old mens pee is often strong and can be toxic due to medication etc. I have a strong bladder but on occasions have had to have a we we in some strange places, once I had been out and my daughter lived in a pub and kept filing my glass with diet coke as I was driving home a distance of 30 miles, I knew there was a laybye not far from home and so I was looking forward to going behind a tree, when I got there a fire engine was putting out a burnt out car, I got home but could not waite so I weed behind my own tree.....another time I had to have a we wee down hill and had to move my feet quickly...anyway for wee we purpouses I wish I was a man...Ladies in trousers have to expose thier bums!!!!

[Womble]

I wish I was a man...Ladies in trousers have to expose thier bums!!!!

I hate to be the one to lower the tone (if possible!?!), but that's not true any more Sandy!!  (They're a big hit with sea kayakers by the way!).

[dixie]

Dirty s*d!  I often see men peeing in the bushes when driving past and recently a biker had left his bike in the layby, gone behind a bush to squat and poo! was walking my dog at the time very unpleasant!
My neighbour was having building work done last year the roofer was on the roof peeing doen into the garden, in full view of my window, disgusting why cant they hold it
And saw a delivery driver throw a bottle out of his cab with what look liked wee in it!

[Lizmar]

I used to live opposite the forest and one day the ice cream van came round and the music was blarring away the children were all running up and he was no where to be seen, then he came out of the forest just finishing zipping his flies - needless to say I never bought an ice cream from him again - just the thought

[Rosemary]

Sandy, you need a she-wee. This clever little device allows the ladies to wee wee standing up (if you are wearing trousers. It was on Dragons' Den, I think and my brother in law has just bought one for his wife, sweetheart that he is.

If we're doing disgusting stories, Dan's folks used to live in Crianlarich and had two dogs called Sam and Tim. Timmy was a bit of a garbage hound - I saw him eat a used coffee filter once, complete with grounds. Anyway, Dan had them up the hill for a walk and saw that Timmy had caught a mouse. He knew it was a mouse because he coudl see its tail hanging out of Timmy's mouth. Except it was a used Tampax that someone had discared. So it's not just the men! 

[sandy]

No no no, I am not having one for Christmas Steve!!!! or anyone else who reads this, i would rather hold on or start wearing my Hippy long skirts, they are great if you go out in your wellies and a skirt you can pretend you are admiring the flora and fauna!!!!!

[northfifeduckling]

I absolutely agree with you, Sandy! Nothing beats a long skirt - worked a treat during my time in rural India 

[sandy]