Author Topic: Honest Critiques please.......  (Read 11383 times)

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2013, 10:40:41 am »
Sue, as I said before, I really like this, but it is something I'd read on my kindle rather than online.  You have the makings of a very interesting book here and my personal opinion is that a publisher might not want it open to the GP before it was completed and published.  If I was this good at writing I'd put these first three chapters to a  few publishers and see if you can get one of them to take it on, or at least give you professional opinions on  it.  I've just forced myself to read two books on my kindle (because I'd started so I'll finish  ::)  - can be a hard mantra to follow sometimes  :innocent:) and they aren't anything like the quality of  writing as this.
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Mammyshaz

  • Joined Feb 2012
  • Durham
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2013, 10:47:49 am »
I love it, the first page anyway  :thumbsup: It is long and book-like to read while flitting on line so I've bookmarked it so I can read the other chapters with a cuppa later.
It will be great following the adventure with you and Phoebe as you travel. It would be nice to have some piccies in there too.

darkbrowneggs

  • Joined Aug 2010
    • The World is My Lobster
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #17 on: December 23, 2013, 09:57:17 am »
Many many thanks all.  First for taking the time and trouble to read it and even more to write back with helpful comments and suggestions.


Potentially it looks as though there may be enough to interest people to make it worthwhile perhaps thinking of doing something on Kindle.  I will need to look into it, and I also need to be certain this is something I want to do.  I am enjoying it at present, but I have to see if that enjoyment lasts.


The idea of this new phase in my life is that I am doing things which I enjoy and which make me happy.  I have had too many years of doing things which had to be done.  But for the moment it is a pleasure to write, though of course I am still having to sort out the paperwork on the house sale, get the money from the auctioneer, liaise with the folk who are selling me the bus, think about if I need to buy another property, consider if I need to put anything into store and if so organize somewhere, pack up the things which are being kept for my niece and nephew....... well you all know the score of day to day living.


But I have done another half page and will try to complete the page before the days end.  So check it out if you would like
http://worldismylobster.moonfruit.com/#/one-thousand-and-one-lots/4581612155

To follow my travel journal see http://www.theworldismylobster.org.uk

For lots of info about Marans and how to breed and look after them see www.darkbrowneggs.info

Marches Farmer

  • Joined Dec 2012
  • Herefordshire
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2013, 03:29:04 pm »
Long ago, before we moved to this farm, our friends and neighbours said "Keep in touch."  That's harder to do as the years roll by, for everyone's lives go in different directions and sometimes illness or children or a new job overwhelm one.  What I've continued to do, which has apparently been quite popular, is what I call an Update - every now and again when something odd or funny or interesting happens I add it to a draft e:mail and when it's about six paragraphs long I send it off on its merry way across the ether.   Sometimes this happens within three or four weeks, sometimes longer when things like lambing intervene.  Some of the recipients never respond during the year but always send a Christmas card mentioning the Update, so I guess it's enjoyed by some (if not all) of them. 

bloomer

  • Joined Aug 2010
  • leslie, fife
  • i have chickens, sheep and opinions!!!
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #19 on: January 05, 2014, 09:03:22 am »
sue


i found the time last night to go back over things i had bookmarked over christmas to read including your journal.


It was excellent and i cant wait for more of it, i agree its not really a blog but as a journal and a record of your new life it is awesome.


Very looking forward to all future installments...


Take care may you and thebus have many happy adventures together...

darkbrowneggs

  • Joined Aug 2010
    • The World is My Lobster
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #20 on: January 05, 2014, 09:13:08 am »
Thanks Bloomer.   :thumbsup:   There may be a slight hiatus as I have the flu.  Well probably just a bad cough and chest infection.


I could do with getting over it as Monday we start packing the last bits to go into storage and I hope to be off this time next weekend.  :fc:
To follow my travel journal see http://www.theworldismylobster.org.uk

For lots of info about Marans and how to breed and look after them see www.darkbrowneggs.info

bloomer

  • Joined Aug 2010
  • leslie, fife
  • i have chickens, sheep and opinions!!!
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #21 on: January 05, 2014, 09:25:13 am »
YAY


for travelling not the cold...


when you make it to central scotland shout loud and someone will feed you and make you welcome!!!

suziequeue

  • Joined Feb 2010
  • Llanidloes; Powys
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #22 on: January 05, 2014, 09:55:38 am »
Ditto mid-Wales
We do the best we can with the information we have

When we know better we do better

darkbrowneggs

  • Joined Aug 2010
    • The World is My Lobster
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #23 on: January 05, 2014, 09:59:28 am »
Suzie  :eyelashes:  you have seen the size of Thebus.  Will he get to you?  He took up most of the lane from my house to the top crossroad.   :innocent:


By the way is anyone near Cymyoy?  NP7 7NU  and if so what are the lanes like there.  On google earth they look exceedingly narrow.
To follow my travel journal see http://www.theworldismylobster.org.uk

For lots of info about Marans and how to breed and look after them see www.darkbrowneggs.info

sabrina

  • Joined Nov 2008
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2014, 10:46:25 am »
When I start to read a book it has to have me in the first chapter. When reading I can see the picture the writer is talking about, draws me in wanting more. Your blog does that and I look forward to more.  :excited:

darkbrowneggs

  • Joined Aug 2010
    • The World is My Lobster
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #25 on: January 05, 2014, 11:53:24 am »
That's great Thanks Sabrina.  It was one thing I had worried over as to whether it was a strong enough start.  A journalist / writer I met casually a few months ago had a look and said the first few chapters would be good enough for infil but to start with something else


But the thing is I have to have some sort of confidence in how I am writing it.  So I think I will stick to what I am doing, and then the proof of the pudding will be in whether people want to carry on reading which most seem to, well those who have been kind enough to give feedback on it.


Many thanks all - I shall plough on, but the next few days might be a bit boring, what with feeling too ill do anything much and next week will probably be taken up with putting things in store etc,  I can't imagine anyone would want to read about that.  Or would they?  What do you all think


Shall I write about my cold which had me in a bed similar to Tracy Emin's but not so valuable? And probably not so well used!
To follow my travel journal see http://www.theworldismylobster.org.uk

For lots of info about Marans and how to breed and look after them see www.darkbrowneggs.info

Thyme

  • Joined Apr 2013
  • Machynlleth, Powys
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #26 on: January 05, 2014, 01:06:49 pm »
I just caught up on reading it and am enjoying it very much.  I think your voice and personality give it a lot of appeal together with your interesting story, so I hope you don't try to change the style too much :thumbsup:
Shetland sheep, Copper Marans chickens, Miniature Silver Appleyard ducks, and ginger cats.

Cactus Jack

  • Joined Oct 2013
  • Tortosa catalunya
    • stevel100
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2014, 01:23:21 pm »
Loving every word of it..
I like the diary style.
It may even encourage me to write blog a bit more often ;)
Keep it up and enjoy thebus.
If you ever get as far as Spain.............   :wave:

darkbrowneggs

  • Joined Aug 2010
    • The World is My Lobster
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2014, 02:11:01 pm »
Thanks Jack - you may well be on my list, assuing I learn to drive Thebus properly  ::)
To follow my travel journal see http://www.theworldismylobster.org.uk

For lots of info about Marans and how to breed and look after them see www.darkbrowneggs.info

Sbom

  • Joined Jul 2012
  • Staffordshire
Re: Honest Critiques please.......
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2014, 07:49:41 pm »
Just read it and have to say I loved it!  Still giggling about your descriptions of poor phoebe trying to get up the steps. She sounds so lovely, you must post a picture of her  :)

 

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