Author Topic: 2012 Darwin Awards.  (Read 5153 times)

Castle Farm

  • Joined Nov 2008
  • Hereford/Powys Border. near Hay-on-Wye
    • castlefarmeggs
2012 Darwin Awards.
« on: April 06, 2013, 11:12:54 am »

  2012 Darwin Awards announced by US journalists 
1. 
When his .38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James  peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. 
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.   He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.  The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.  Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.  He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.  The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.  When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.  When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.  The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.  The total amount of cash he got from the till was just under $15.

7. An Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. 
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.  So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.  The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.   The whole event was caught on videotape and handed to the police.

8. As a female shopper left a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.  Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.  They put him in the car and drove back to the store.  The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.  To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that's her.  That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun, and demanded cash.  The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.  When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.  The frustrated gunman walked away.

10. A man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose.   Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.  A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.  The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2013, 02:50:17 pm by Dan »
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Fleecewife

  • Joined May 2010
  • South Lanarkshire
    • ScotHebs
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2013, 11:19:26 am »
 :roflanim: :roflanim:  I particularly love the first one  :roflanim: :roflanim:  and the last one  :tired: :tired:
"Let's not talk about what we can do, but do what we can"

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Bionic

  • Joined Dec 2010
  • Talley, Carmarthenshire
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2013, 11:24:08 am »
 :roflanim: :roflanim:
Life is like a bowl of cherries, mostly yummy but some dodgy bits

tizaala

  • Joined Mar 2011
  • Dolau, Llandrindod Wells,Powys
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2013, 12:11:30 pm »
Love the Darwins , why is it mainly Americans who qualify ?  :innocent: :roflanim: :roflanim: :roflanim:

Fleecewife

  • Joined May 2010
  • South Lanarkshire
    • ScotHebs
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2013, 12:45:54 pm »
Love the Darwins , why is it mainly Americans who qualify ?  :innocent: :roflanim: :roflanim: :roflanim:

Oh there are plenty of total idiots throughout the world, it's just that the US doesn't often look beyond its own borders.   Anyway, they have more than enough to choose from at home (apologies to those from the US  :sofa:  )
"Let's not talk about what we can do, but do what we can"

There is NO planet B - what are YOU doing to save our home?

Do something today that your future self will thank you for - plant a tree

 Love your soil - it's the lifeblood of your land.

Bert

  • Joined Jan 2012
  • Isle of Mull
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2013, 12:58:09 pm »
I love the Darwin Awards :thumbsup: . So funny I have tears running down my face  :roflanim: :roflanim: .

HesterF

  • Joined Jul 2012
  • Kent
  • HesterF
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2013, 09:40:06 pm »
They are brilliant but I think they've expanded the brief - wasn't the point originally that they improved the human race by removing themselves from it? Nearly all of these have survived to procreate.....

john and helen

  • Joined Mar 2013
  • Devon
  • WARNING,,,MAY SAY WHAT HE BELIEVES
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Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2013, 10:53:47 pm »
 :roflanim: :roflanim: :roflanim: Number 10 got me going  :roflanim:

Lesley Silvester

  • Joined Sep 2011
  • Telford
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2013, 10:55:34 pm »
 :roflanim: :roflanim: :roflanim:

jaykay

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Cumbria/N Yorks border
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2013, 03:57:07 pm »
 :roflanim:

I thought 4 was pretty inventive, especially the added clause about the passengers being excitable and prone to fantasies  :roflanim:

SallyintNorth

  • Joined Feb 2011
  • Cornwall
  • Rarely short of an opinion but I mean well
    • Trelay Cohousing Community
Re: 2012 Darwin Awards.
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2013, 04:10:49 pm »
I agree, HesterF, the original premise was that the winners had removed themselves from the gene pool.  By which rule, the only valid contender is #1 - a worthy winner.

However, I loved the entries anyway.  #9 made me laugh out loud - it could so have happened here!   :roflanim:   #2 is probably my favourite story - maybe if it were a different appendage they'd both cut off we'd even allow their entry under the original rules...  :thinking: ;) :innocent:
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