[luckylady]

She displays the same hermitlike tendencies and I can't have that because of me although my other daughter is a go-getter of life so I don't know if I'm to blame really.

No, you are not to blame! Your daughter is lucky that she has a mother who knows the score, and actively helps her rather than writing it all off as "hormones" as used to be done when we were younger...

Thanks for the affirmation Ina, I'm a dreadful self-doubter and also fear the 'damage' I may have done to my daughters as they were growing up due to my bouts of depression/insecurities prior to thyroid diagnosis and treatment.   

[happygolucky]

its an out dated old fashioned prejudice that is responsible for soooo many people thinking they cant talk about these problems. hopefully it is starting to change, after all if one of us had broken an ankle we would be right on here talking about it, with the offers of support etc.
i hope one day these prejudices will be removed, people will be able to talk openly AND recieve the proper health care they need and deserve

Thats hit the nail on the head, trouble is, work and job oppertunities are fewer and more selective, if you admit to having a mental health problem, employers are going to make up excuses. One of my daughters was being closely monitored at her place of work due to a few events that were seen as being her fault but in actual fact they were not, that certainly made her more stressed and the lesson learned was "keep quiet""
Lets just hope one day its more understood...we are getting there slowly

[Rosemary]

Don't shoot me - but I think it's hard for employers to deal with mental health issues. If someone breaks a leg, it gets better (generally) and it's like it's never been (generally). But with mental health issues, there's always the feeling that things will either never get better or will only get better for a wee while.

Now, maybe that's the nature of the illness or maybe a reflection on the help, or lack of it, available to people but I know when I was managing a lot of staff, my heart sank if someone produced a medical certificate with stress / anxiety / depression on it because a) the workplace was often blamed and b) it was not going to be easy (like a broken leg is) to resolve, if it was resolved at all.

[happygolucky]

You are only saying what other bosses feel, its hard indeed.
Durring times working in Social Services, stress was an extremely common reason people were off sick, it is hard, in the work place TIME = MONEY, I know how difficult it can be. Money is tight in most cases and know one wants to be paying out un necessarily, as an agency worker I worked rather than take time off, saving my hours for emergency time off.
I was never off with stress, however I did walk out on one job due to it, nearly all the other staff did as well, but then so many other illnesses are a result of stress.A good boss should be able to help in some way, find jobs within the job that are not so stressful, some people get all the difficult jobs so maybe a change around.
I too was a manager for a short while , no one was off sick as they were having a ball!!
To be fair, they were a nice bunch of people and did do what they were supposed to do but maybe that was because the manager had just been sacked and the others were waiting to take his place, I was there to keep order until a decision was made, I only left due to bookings in the B&B.

[Ina]

Won't shoot you - but that's typical, that reaction. And these days employers demand you fill in a long medical questionnaire even before you get to the interview - and then tell me they don't use that information against you when they make their decision... What chance do we have to ever get a job, when exactly the not having a job is the one major disabling factor in our mental health? I've got an interview on Monday. I already know that I'll most probably cancel it, because I just haven't got the strength to go through it all, sitting there, knowing they know everything about me and won't like it - so I've no chance in hell, it'll cost me a lot of money I can't afford, and I certainly can't take yet another rejection...

Right, I'll stop now and go back to bed.

Oh, and btw, I've never been off sick due to depression. If I really felt I needed a few days off, I took them as my annual leave.

[Anke]

[quote author=Rosemary link=topic=30437.msg306155#msg306155 date=13583 "if you feel bad, go and scrub your doorstep"

 
Serious topic, I know, .... but this just made me 

[happygolucky]

Ina, they are my thoughts too, although, not too sure if I have said this one before BUT, one of  my ex bosses was fantastic, still have him as my FB friend, he always stopped and made a cup of tea when stress was building, he used to be a psychiatric nurse.
Anyway, we had some jobs going, my boss was on leave at the time of interviews but the new candidates were chosen, then they all dropped off details, photos, passports etc to go into the records and also to get starting dates once checks had been done, my boss had  a shock as some one who was a full time patient actually was given the job, he was not even fit enough to be out in his own accommodation, he was still going to be employed but he himself chose not to take the job offer.
Also, they do not need to know your medical problems, but I know they can put things together, but, all they want is some one suitable for the job, they should ask questions and if you answer them correctly then you have the same chances of any one else.
I worry about my husband as well, he more often than not, says the wrong things!!!
I also know we have spent money on interviews that we cannot afford at all....I truly hope it goes well for you,  and its the same when they see physical stuff, although they should not discriminate, they do!!! I often got given stuff to do that was very difficult for me when other jobs were easier and more suited.....no one made it better but plenty made it worse.
Mental illness Can be hidden but physical stuff cannot!!

[happygolucky]

My last job before we re located was gettting people who were long term unemployed back into work,,,now that must be even harder...BUT..I had many clients who had mental illness and they did get jobs, one got a job with a charity doing thier accounts, he had recieved some training at night school and was able to cope with the job, he used to hear voices all the time and was paraniod. Another man, who had not worked for years and years and had some sort of mental health issue and a dependancy of chemicals, he got a job driving the trollies around the hospital, soo many more got jobs that had problems, so there is hope!!!
Try to be positive, my husbands had loads of interviews and nearly got lots of jobs but nearly is as good as not getting them......he gets down but is with loads of agencies now, so keeps up work experience, can you join some agencies Ina?

Oh, and btw, I've never been off sick due to depression. If I really felt I needed a few days off, I took them as my annual leave.

Bless you, thats just what I did but once walked out as I could not stand the place any longer...that backfired on me big time as I did get a job straight away but then the place that I left sent a very negative ref for me, they even got facts wrong but trouble with that, my big boss then was head of dep in the area......so no chance of me fighting it, although my best mate had a major breakdown due to the same things at the same place, she took it to a tribunel and won.....she used to be a police women used to stress but was off for a long time ill, now she is in a brill job, doing fab and that other boss was sacked.....Please do not take it personaly, just how things are !!XXXXX

[Tilly]

 
..... just a few thoughts from me
 
If anyone can not live a normal daily life and find they can not function due to symptoms we have talked about on here, then they need to get some medical help ,you owe it to yourself 
 
From my understanding a chemical inbalance in the brain is the culprit for depression and this can be rectified  .
 
It may be" in your nature" to be a bit emotional, but not to the extent of bursting into tears at the slightist thing ,or staying in bed all day becauce you just can`t face life.
 
Come on now, how ever you do it, get some support and help from somewhere, and turn things around.
 
Tilly 
 
 
 
 
 

[happygolucky]

Just seen this advert on TV, funny how it appears as we are all talking about it now
http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/talk-about-mental-health
I was talking about mental illness to one of my daughters and she said, "of course you understand, I for one have a mental illness" she holds down a good job and has a lot of support, I was also giving my previouse jobs a thinking about and the jobs were so much better when the boss and staff team were both understanding and supportive, I was very lucky in most cases, so some work places do understand.
One of the best rescourses we all have is each other, and also one of the worse!!

[Lesley Silvester]

I think the suggestion about being tested for thyroid imbalance is a good one.  I have had an under-active thyroid now for 35 years and I've been thinking back to how I felt before it was diagnosed.  Ok, circumstances were slightly different as my dad had just died so I was grieving but I certainly felt I had no energy or enthusiasm for anything, and felt constantly tired and weepy.  I put the tiredness down to just having had a baby and the rest to having lost my dad but my health visitor sent me to the GP and I was referred to hospital and tested.  I've been on meds for it ever since and it does make a difference.

Nickie, you say all this started when you were about 12.  Thyroid malfunction is very often linked to periods when females (and it is more females than males that have it) go through hormonal imbalance such as puberty.  In my case it was pregnancy that brought it on.  My mother's thyroid became under-active when she was menopausal.  Do go and see your GP and ask for a blood test - that's all that's needed and keep talking on here, either on the thread or PM me or someone else that you feel you can talk to.   

[luckylady]

Nickie, you say all this started when you were about 12.

MGoM, it was me who started with depression at 12!   
My underactive thyroid was diagnosed at 40 but it does make me wonder if it fluctuated before then.  Whenever I have times of stress my thyroid reacts and I need more levothyroxine and vice versa when life is hunky dorey.  It just means I have to have the levels tested every three months to know how much to take. 

[happygolucky]

I often think Luckylady is my post, to  me the names look similar,
anyway, my daughter only very recently got her diagnosis after loads and loads of constant trips to the Dr's with mood swings, sleepiness, irritability, illness etc....my older daughter has lots of food intolerance's, she told me she very nearly ended up in hospital with her mental ill health, the youngest is not too bad but has been in a very bad state previously, again food related.
Funny how its often the Dr's last resort when I have met so many people with Thyroid problems, my mum had an over active one  or was it underactive?

[Carl f k]

10 years on Prozac..wouldn't admit I hated life with my ex wife,didn't want to leave my kids but got the balls to do it, was a case of do or die, hit the bottle big time but did the right thing in the end.. Met Heidi and gone from strength to strength.. My son understands cus his moms a bitch to him but daughter been brainwashed by her mom...she will find out in time..got our animals and Heidi is so understanding and caring.. My sister told me along time ago" if it hurts don't do it " which I will always do.... Admit your problems, don't hide them like I did...take the pills they do work .. And do what u want to do not what others tell u.. My friend say what u want a fu....n goat for??? I take no notice of what they say now..I hav the confidence to tell them to f.. Off..my life I do it my way.. You no like u no my friend... Face those fears your only hear once enjoy it the way you want to .... Ant tell all those others to"Kiss my ass" xxx

[SmallTimeSmallholder]

From my understanding a chemical inbalance in the brain is the culprit for depression and this can be rectified   

God, I wish that we're true! My husband was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2008 whilst we was expecting our second child. He was prescribed citalopram then and is still on them now. I spend my life trying to guess what mood he'll be in, how he will take a comment, can I clean the house to his standards..... Lalalalala..... The tablets do have an effect because every now and then he decides he's fine and just stops taking them and the children and I have to take shelter until he starts them again.
The bottom line is, I've lost my best friend. Frankly, I miss him.