[Bumblebear]

The girls are getting chunkier and having spoken to the abbatoir today, I need to use one of the two November slots or wait until mid Jan.  I'm pretty sure they'll be ready mid Nov anyway but I am already getting upset when I talk about it!  Stupid I know.  I know they've had a good life etc etc, and I know I can't justify keeping 2 pet pigs; but I am worried I won't be able to go through with it OR even worse that the meat will stick in my throat and I won;t be able to eat it.  Anyone else feel like this before?  What did you do?  Does it get better?  Should I not have had so much physical contact ?      

[darkbrowneggs]

I made the mistake of naming my first two pigs and treating them more as pets, and it was very difficult when slaughter time came round.  They were the first "large" animals I personally bought, cared for, and then ate. 
 
Once the trauma of the slaughter and butchery, which were both done at home, was over,  I ate them quite happily, though I do come from a country background of knowing animals prior to eating them.  I made sure I didn't make the same mistake of identifying with the individual in future. 
 
I feel that unless I am a vegetarian then I am simply transferring the "deed" to others.  Plus I know my stock enjoys a healthy, stress free life, in the best conditions I can offer them, and with the calmest death also.  Never nice, but if one intends to eat meat, which at present I do, then I feel it is the best alternative.  It will be hard for you this first time. 
 
Nowadays if I have an animal I always go the abbatior with it myself and see it into the pen, and I can honestly say they seem more interested at new surroundings than stressed, and the stunning is quick and seems no more stressful than normal medical or tagging procedures.  I think most abbatiors nowadays are well supervised, and there is, I think, always a vet on hand to look at the animals when they arrive.

[SallyintNorth]

No-one can tell you whether you will be able to eat the meat - it's a very individual and highly personal thing. And it's not rational, it's of the heart.  Don't knock it, it means you're human. 

What you have to decide right now is whether you want to be able to have any other livestock in due course.  If yes, then you have to 'man up' and make that journey now - or you can only have as much livestock as you can cater for as pets, just as you can only have as many dogs as you can cater for at one time.

When I took Gaby in, I knew damn fine I wouldn't be able to eat her meat if I got it back that day.  But you don't.  By the time it's been slaughtered, cooled and butchered (assuming from your post you are having it butchered for you), more than a week has passed.  And you don't have to eat any of it straight away if you don't want to - give some away or sell it fresh, freeze the rest, eat some when you're ready.  If you are never ready, give the rest away, or sell it, or swap it for pork from someone else's pig.

In my case, by the time it came back from the butcher, I was ok to eat it.  BH was a little uncertain about it the first couple of times we ate meat from the first pig, but now he loves it.  I have to say, he doesn't get as attached to them as individuals as much as he did that first pair, though.

I am now okay about it; I don't like taking them in, and am very sad for a day or two when they go, but I love filling the freezer, and the arms of relatives and friends, with beautiful succulent home-reared pork.  And I love love love serving up the best roast pork anyone can get anywhere to family and friends.

I also love getting the next pair, or breeding a litter at home, and having all the fun of rearing weaners again.

So in my case, and BH's, I would say that yes, it does get easier.  It still affects us but the benefits are worth it - to us.

But if you decide now, or after taking this first pair in, it isn't for you - don't beat yourself up about it.  And certainly don't make yourself miserable or ill over it. 

[SteveHants]

No-one can tell you whether you will be able to eat the meat - it's a very individual and highly personal thing. And it's not rational, it's of the heart.  Don't knock it, it means you're human. 

Yep - a mate of mines dad (I think he is 70-odd now), whos family has been on that farm for generations cant eat anything he has looked after, all is sold deadweight, just loads it on a trailer and says goodbye. They never had pigs though, just cattle and sheep.

[Eve]

If it's the first year, then it can be really hard. But yes, it does get easier - because you'll know what to expect and also because you'll know how much wonderful meat you'll get back   
 
The first year we had pigs, everyone who knew about them (except me) thought that I'd never be able to go through with having them killed (I'm a big softie when it comes to animals), and that we'd be looking after these pigs for years to come! I did have a few nightmares the first year (first after visiting a few abattoirs to decide which one to go with, then after watching some butchery footage on youtube -things we did because it was our first year and we still had to learn so much). It'll never be really easy, because we don't keep large numbers and we really enjoy looking after our pigs, so it'd be rather strange if we couldn't give a hoot about them being sent to their deaths. It's always a sad day when they go, but a very good day when we pick up the boxes of meat - the latter does soften the blow quite a bit.
 
Our pigs always have names because it's easier for us to use a name as a reference if something's wrong (.e.g Black Ear seems very quiet, or Bigspot didn't eat much - no doubt about which one we're talking about  ).
 
Our pigs have lots of contact with us and receive plenty of visitors who will rub their bellies and brush them. That also makes their last journey easier for them as they are used to seeing new people and being handled.
 
So plenty of contact is not a bad thing, and yes you will get attached to them, but parting becomes easier after the first time. If you find it too difficult to take them to slaughter, get help in from someone else who doesn't have an attachment with them. Also, use an abattoir you can trust. I can stay in the pen with mine and see them being killed if I want to (only after a few times of taking animals to slaughter did I feel up to that - and it was ok to watch) and if it's a good abattoir they'll handle the pigs well and it'll all be over very quickly.
 
And if after all that you find that keeping pigs for meat is too hard, then there's nothing wrong with that! 
 

[kja]

its a personal choice as we all act differently.

never felt i could not face the final journey or eat the end product, but its not a trip we enjoy its a trip we have to make to keep the cycle going and yes it does get easier.

having said that i was brought up where this is all part of life we breed to eat or feed others, at the end of the day its nice to know your meat has had a happy life.

[princesspiggy]

ahh. poor u. iv been there.
our 2nd pair of tammies were so lovely, there were completely freerange and used to follow us everywhere, i tried to sell them as breeders as i couldnt bear the thought of killing them, but as unreg boars, they were destined for freezer! i remember sitting outside the abattoir crying my eyes out but knew i had to send them through as they were eating there heads off and were huge.
a butcher cured the whole carcuss and the meat was awful and the brine was sooo strong, it took almost 2 yrs to eat them which was a terrible waste really.
u have to harden your heart to the fact they are going to be slaughter, or at least mentally block it out. we werent squeamish with the first lot to go to slaughter cos they were bolshy and as beginners we were ready to see the back of them. (excuse the pun) but i couldnt face eating them for 3 mths tho!
 
it does get easier with time, especially if u have some at home, an empty field is the worst.

[Bumblebear]

ahh. poor u. iv been there.
our 2nd pair of tammies were so lovely, there were completely freerange and used to follow us everywhere, i tried to sell them as breeders as i couldnt bear the thought of killing them, but as unreg boars, they were destined for freezer! i remember sitting outside the abattoir crying my eyes out but knew i had to send them through as they were eating there heads off and were huge.
a butcher cured the whole carcuss and the meat was awful and the brine was sooo strong, it took almost 2 yrs to eat them which was a terrible waste really.
u have to harden your heart to the fact they are going to be slaughter, or at least mentally block it out. we werent squeamish with the first lot to go to slaughter cos they were bolshy and as beginners we were ready to see the back of them. (excuse the pun) but i couldnt face eating them for 3 mths tho!
 
it does get easier with time, especially if u have some at home, an empty field is the worst.

It will be an empty paddock  . Thank you all for your replies.  I KNOW they are looked after and about responsible farming and all that about the food chain but this is pure emotion, no logic at all.  I have prepared and eaten roosters I hav eh and raised from the incubator and whilst it was all a bit sad it was nothing like this.  We have 2 lambs going on Tuesday and whilst it will be a bit sad I'm actually looking forward to eating lamb and won't miss them as much (I don't think i will anyway! Ask me again Wednesday) but these girls are something else.  I even thought about keeping one and getting another weaner, but then I really couldn't choose between them.  Or even keeping them both and breeding so I could then eat the weaners but the reality is that's not really practical and there's already too many around from what I have read on here.  Those little piggy eyes are so trusting it breaks my heart.

[jaykay]

I've never chickened out but I really had to force myself to do the whole 'last journey' bit with the boy goat kids last year. Way worse than the tup lambs, as the goats come in every night, get stroked etc.

I didn't eat the meat, but sold it, although one 'half kid' has been in the freezer for a year now and I probably could just about manage it now.

The first time I ate our lamb I felt decidedly funny about it and didn't finish it. That's got easier. It all gets easier but is never easy, if that makes sense.

[princesspiggy]

the thing with pigs is they get so much bigger and eat so much after the golden 6 mths old. keeping them longer is a big commitment.

[Penninehillbilly]

I've learnt to have pets (the mums and the 'stayers') and see others as joints getting bigger on the hoof on the things I know will have to go.
If you start to fall for that trust in their eyes you've lost.
(anyway, it's not love and trust, it's 'I love you, where's my grub'.) 
 

[SallyintNorth]

Those little piggy eyes are so trusting it breaks my heart.

The hardest one to take was the one with prick ears.  Stick to breeds with lop ears, it does make it easier!  I hardly ever see Meg's eyes under those great big ears!

[Tamsaddle]

I am like penninehillbilly.   They are my much adored pigs, even the meat ones, up to the moment the tongs knock them out, from that second onwards they are pork, not pigs anymore.   I dont feel I have betrayed their trust as they always seem completely relaxed at the abattoir until it is their turn, far more interested in chatting to the new pigs in the next door pen, and as far as I can judge from watching them, are perfectly happy and contented until their very last breath.   So even though I was dreading it the first time, I found it surprisingly easy and unemotional when it actually happened.      Tamsaddle

[Beewyched]

I still cry - every trip to the abbattoir    & when I get back home I cuddle my "keepers" 
Would it help if you started looking for their replacements before they go - or would it feel like betrayal?
 

[hughesy]

My Mum, who was a child during WW2, saw her dad kill a cockerel that she considered a pet and didn't eat meat for 20 years. Now she won't eat meat from any animal she has known when it was alive. I think that if you eat meat you should face up to where it comes from but there's no telling her. I admit it would be much harder to take one of our breeding pigs that we've developed a relationship with but one day I know it'll have to be done.