Author Topic: hiya anyone want to take my problem step daughter (Read 10425 times)

Rhyan & Melissa · « **Reply #15 on:** April 08, 2009, 08:11:32 am »

Pop her in the car, tell her your taking her shopping. Drive into the middle of nowhere, dump her. Drive off.

When she finally arrives home - scream blue murder for her staying out so late. No one will believe her story that a loving pregnant lady would do such a cruel thing. She will be grounded for life - you get the sympathy you need.

simple

Anyone see why Me n Mel don't have children yet?

pikilily · « **Reply #16 on:** April 08, 2009, 08:47:25 am »

Linz, I am sorry to hear of your strifes.

I always think that we hit out hardest and most viciously at the one we love the most, May be because we feel safe with them. So take this behavior as a testimony to her truest feelings for you. This maybe matches with the previous suggestion that she feels a bit threatened by the baby??!!

So, look on the brighter side, she cares about you, she obviously is looking for attention from you! I have always lavished most attention ( btw not toys and presents...just time to listen and care) on my kids when they start lashing out at me. They are 21 (m) and 18 (f) now and are balanced happy young adults with a secure base and a good self esteem. This strategy has never backfired, and if anything, once I realized what was happening, it reduced the frequency of the tantrums!

Please, please, please don't throw her out of the house. This is the most destructive thing that could happen, and would leave life long scars, and rifts of distrust between you. Her home is her sanctuary... it sounds as if the other adults in her life are fragile and inconsistent. Booting her out could also cause deep resentment between her dad and you.

work around this and she will become your best asset!

al the best
Emma

sausagesandcash · « **Reply #17 on:** April 08, 2009, 10:37:14 pm »

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." -
-- Mark Twain

Fluffywelshsheep · « **Reply #18 on:** April 09, 2009, 02:46:07 pm »

chucking out was a joke.

I have given up with her at the moment just letting her do her own thing and not interfering. I just don't need much stress at the moment.
but know we are here (but her mother isn't great at the moment push over)
linz

DavidnChris · « **Reply #19 on:** April 10, 2009, 11:57:47 am »

Speaking as a man, tell her from me, if she thinks that puberty is difficult with all those hormones swishing round, wait 'til she hits the menopause and the hormones stop.

sandy · « **Reply #20 on:** April 10, 2009, 04:40:40 pm »

MENOPAUSE

Fluffywelshsheep · « **Reply #21 on:** April 10, 2009, 05:00:06 pm »

Quote from: Rhyan & Melissa on April 08, 2009, 08:11:32 am

Pop her in the car, tell her your taking her shopping. Drive into the middle of nowhere, dump her. Drive off.

When she finally arrives home - scream blue murder for her staying out so late. No one will believe her story that a loving pregnant lady would do such a cruel thing. She will be grounded for life - you get the sympathy you need.

simple

Anyone see why Me n Mel don't have children yet?

maybe i should tie her to a tree or park railling

Fluffywelshsheep · « **Reply #22 on:** April 10, 2009, 05:01:40 pm »

Quote from: DavidnChris on April 10, 2009, 11:57:47 am

Speaking as a man, tell her from me, if she thinks that puberty is difficult with all those hormones swishing round, wait 'til she hits the menopause and the hormones stop.

Noooooooooooooooooooooo, i think i would have belted her one by then the rate she is going (am so glad she moved out last year) imagine the stress she would be if she lived here!!!!!

carole h · « **Reply #23 on:** April 11, 2009, 07:53:09 pm »

Hold tight Linz ... I was that SD from Hell ...many years ago .... I changed eventually!!

sunnyjohn · « **Reply #24 on:** April 11, 2009, 11:10:04 pm »

Hi Linz,

Heartfelt commiserations.... When I first got to know my new lady, Linda, I had also to meet her grown up kids and, as a new twist to an old tale, she took me home to meet her kids. Her two sons were OK, though I remember a delightful incident the next New Year, when both of them were rather drunk, and they took me to one side and sternly, if hazily, told me to be good to their mum or they'd do dreadful things to me. We now get on really well.

But Linda's daughter was another situation entirely. Living at home at the time, my later-to-become stepdaughter was in the throes of a relationship break-up, and life in the house was fraught - on a good day! Apparently in an effort to get me to leave, so she could have her mum to herself, presumably, she once described me as a ****ing axe-murderer (which I've never been! I've blunted and broken a few tools, but never murdered an axe in my life!). She was frankly impossible for a couple of years, and tested the relationship Linda and I have to the absolute limit. We nearly parted; very, very nearly; but I was incredibly reluctant to let a petulant daughter rule my or her mother's life. So I hung on in there, often losing sleep and sometimes wondering why I bothered....

Well, it all blew over, after about three years. The daughter is now an absolute gem. She respects me for hanging on in there when she was so diffficult, recognising she was, and that it was deliberate, and she chats happily and now asks my opinion and advice quite often. Having now moved out - which was a significant evolution for her; she went to university, which was another milestone; she even rings to speak to me, rather than her mum. It feels odd, but delightful, and I'm proud of my stepdaughter, now. We do look back on the troubled times and laugh now, when at the time we cried. But 'love won through', despite my fears it couldn't.

I really hope your SD evolves into a rational, responsible, agreeable human being in the very near future. I now have no regrets, and I'm really glad I stuck with it.

But, before you ask, once was enough.... I'm not offering to take on your challenge...! But all the best with it / her.

John

doganjo · « **Reply #25 on:** April 12, 2009, 06:40:12 pm »

My daughter did try it on with John when I first took him home to meet the kids. Perhaps it was self defence being only one and a half years after her Dad was killed, not wanting John to replace him. Anyway John took it that way, and things settled down fairly quickly as she saw how happy I was, both she and her brother looked on him as their second Dad until he died too. So hang on in there, she's got a good extra Mum.

Fluffywelshsheep · « **Reply #26 on:** April 13, 2009, 11:42:35 am »

It just strange, I don't think her mum helps and with out being paranoide i think she has intentional or unintentional turned her again,

I didn't really know sd to start with so never really had a problem (just the one thing i thought would happen, thinking she would think i would replace her mum) but she moved in and was okay to start with then got on like a house on fire "like sisters" but then i think it all started when her mum moved near and the relationship became frout, she moved out last year her choice because 'she wasn't wanted here' we incuded her into everything we did. It was her that didn't want to do them.

Not given up on her, but am not really making an over effort to talk to her and i havn't said i don't want to talk to her, but just left her to her own devices with her mum and her life. if she wants to talk am her apart from that, i can't really be bothered with her rubbish and lies her dad is the same way at the moment.

life is quiet for the moment, am hiding and attempting to start my ou assignment
Linz