[Rhyan & Melissa]

Mel does the garden at home and the cake making! We shares the cooking and chores.

If I shoot it, I have to skin it - fair enough I suppose! We both want the chickens equally.

We both share the allotment plots as well. So I guess its 50 / 50.

I know all about being grumpy and it P*ssing it down! Trying to wrestle a rotavator (thats on hire, so the job has to be done) when its raining is a peach. Or my current favorite - fencing in the snow!!!

[Crofter]

Jane & I split most of the work 50/50.  She does more of the horticultural stuff, I do more of the Croft stuff ('cos I can start the Ferguson!).
Animals again 50/50 though Jane is particularly fond of the Hens.  We came to Lewis for this lifestyle and it was always going to be a joint thing.

PS.  Did you get my e-mail Ian?

[sandy]

After years of stressful jobs working in Social Services I have grown more and more to love the outdoors life, I am no sports person so doing something out doors is great for me, I even love the cold on my face and with sensible clothing, I prefer taking the dogs out in the winter than when it's hot (not that often), that is as long as I have a warm place to go back to. I love nothing better than to "feel" the weather, the wind in my face and the cold wet air giving me a free reinvigorating blast. We rented initially and lived in a farm cottage on the edge of a vast area of trees, nothing for miles, that walk was high and very open so we both felt it cleared out your lungs and felt revitalized after.  My partner feels the same, our only problem is we both like to be out but we have a lot to do inside the house and as the house is our business and takes lot's of maintenance and cleaning, it is also a priority, a  part of us would like a small cottage with a large garden looking out into the countryside with a few animals and veg and of course enough money to keep us going but the other part love our life here with our 3 chickens and two dogs and a few herbs....Anyway, a message to Lordlonk, don't dwell on what you had, it will only make you sad, take the opportunity to do concentrate on yourself, do the things that any partner would hate you doing, if you've time to spare, take up a completely new hobby, even find a course doing something you could do with learning, maybe to do with the smallholding, set yourself targets however small, cultivating the land and looking after stock can be so rewarding and physical labour is very stress relieving, have a great day looking forward and don't turn around!!!!

[sellickbhoy]

she loves the produce that comes from teh garden!!!

having a BBQ, walking the dog, living in the country - it's all good!

I do most of the grunt work - but she isn't shy to give me a hand, she'll gladly help lift, shift, clean, dig and whatever she can to help me - sometimes i need more than one pair of hands.

she looks after the house and indulges me when i say "i could do with another greenhouse/Shed/tunnel/whatever!"

[lordlonk]

Hi dave and Jane

Good to hear from you on here - i hardly ever check my email box  for lord lonk so i will do soo immediatly. I will rememeber to check it daily as i didnt realise messages would go direct there - Willgo and have a peep right nowand  will reply - Thanks again for now -- my first lordlonk mail heheh-

[lordlonk]

Over the past few months with all the cold and all the wet and dark early nights Ive got use to feeding Nat's cows . Its quite a challenge to get out of the big warm bed to do that but i have done so many times with no apprehension whatsoever. The cows are 3 miles up the road and caring as i am would never want Nat going up there at 4.30 am in the morning to feed them before she went off to work - I would often go with her so she had the support just in case -Many mornings the winds have been strong - the rain has been torrid but weave warmed the milk at home for the calves twice a day took it up and fed them with a teat bar home made that was successful and a third of the price of ones that could be bought.

I have the responsibility of the calves and the cow's for the next 5 Day's and i look forward to it all - I just wish i knew so much more about the cattle - there breeds - there qualities - and so on . I will stick to one breed i think and learn there merits and there qualities -

[sandy]

Just having another ccoffe break and am worried about you Lordlond, Ian? We are afterall humans, we are NOT perfect, it's just about finding the tolerance level between you both. I never liked my husband and we argued constantly, after 21 years marrage + 6 years courting (old fashioned word) we seperated and, initialy it was bitter then  now, we are like friends, he tells me his problems, does his own stuff and I do mine, I have few problems that a bit of extra income wouldn't change, anyway, life is not like romantic novels, I am lucky but I still have a lot to put up with when my partner has a mood swing, one due tonight, but that is him and his charactor, he will apppologises but it is stressful, I found he cannot help the sawings in his mood as hormone levels affect women, I then got to woundering, do animals get fed up with each other? Anyway, if you concentrate on yourself, things will slowly clear a bit and, one day you will see it all as one of lifes hiccups!!! I loved a saying I think was from those of Buddah, "Life is a journey, do not get stuck at the beginning, don't keep looking back or rush to the end, enjoy every step for whatever it brings enriches your life." another saying is, "If you live life in the fast lane, you get to your destination, the end, quicker" so, learn from what  you had and move on, I'm off to work for a few min, that keeps me level!!!!!!

[HappyHippy]

Hi,

My other half is happy to do all the heavy stuff involved in the plans I come up with, and will help out with day to day stuff as long as he's not suffering with gout !
He's definately more into getting on the tractor/digger and playing with power tools and much less inclined towards gardening - but all in all it works for us, and I think that's what counts, as long as you're happy with how you divvy up the work noone feels under too much pressure.

Lordlonk, just wanted to say .........
I'm sorry you're so sad, I know it's a cliche but time (and space) is a great healer (after the initial bottle of Vodka to numb the pain)
Don't want to sound patronising at all, and please, please don't be offended but there are 2 ways to look at it
1) Maybe you'll find that a few years down the line you come back together & it works better because you've grown in different ways.
2) Maybe you'll find someone else who makes you even happier.
One thing I've learned is that you'll not find happiness in others, you've got to be happy in yourself first. My old granny used to say -'If it's for you, it'll not go past you' it's soooo true.
Keep your chin up.

[pikilily]

My OH and I have the work well devided. I do the animals...horses, hens, sheep, dogs and cats. He does all the veg, and trees lawns etc.

I like it that way cos i have the pleasure of my animals jumping up and down with excitement when they see me, his carrots just don't show the same enthusiasm ! and his potatoes just sit there!!!

Yes its tough in the bad weather but I get great satisfaction from battling against the elements to get the animals safe warm and happy.
Emma

[juliag]

Hi there, this is a good one!
My other half does nothing at all with the animals , plants etc although is perfectly happy to do so if I am out or away, which isnt often. He is very proud of what we have though, he works very long hours in a job wearing a suit to pay for everything we have!!! He throughly enjoys lapping up all the praise when others comment on how beautiful the garden is looking etc, and I have heard him tell others when he doesn't think I can hear that its all down to him!!! 
love him hugely though and appreciate all the hard work he does to let me have my life quite frankly pottering around in my polytunnel etc.
If you get to read this.... Thankyou darling xxx

[Townie]

Another great subject...

As a family we all "muck in" so to speak.  We have 2 teenagers, we all share the workload of feeding and cleaning out the chickens, the 2 rescue rabbits we took on  Walking the dogs, making sure our 2 cats are happy and kept seperated at all times ( our Birman hates our wee silver tabby)!

We all do our bit in the greenhouse, maintain the raised beds, do the weeding, we can all cook, bake and clean... oh and do a very good job of shouting at each other lol 

I know we wouldnt have it any other way....

[sabrina]

Well Lordlonk, one day you will meet someone who will share you life. I was married for 25 years and not a lot of that was happy. I lived with my partner for two years before we got married so alltogether we have been together 13 years. We are what he calls soul mates and enjoy each others company so much that we would rather have a take-a-way and a DVD than go out at the weekend. He had not any experience with animals before he met me but as horses were my interest we bought our house with 5 acreas and two barns. He has over the years taught himself fencing, hanging gates, two years ago one of the barns fell down along one side and would have cost at least £20,000 if we had got someone in. He spent ages looking into how to fix it. Rebuilt the stones walls and put on a whole new roof. He will be putting up our pollytunnel, feeding pigs when they arrive. Weeding may be a problem as I can see him pulling out my plants but every day he makes me happy and I am so lucky to have him in my life. 

[carl]

My oh is ying to my yang. Margot ledbetter to my tom good. i love mucking about outside in muck producing stuff.she loves the corporate high flier life and shopping. the house is a barn conversion with enough rustic charm to satisfy me and enough sofistication to satisfy her. she likes to  tell her colleagues about our rural idyll but is yet to come in contact with any poo. I am pretty much left to my own devices as long as it doesn't interfere with her social or work life, and she covers a lot of our expenses. this means i have to go on family holidays which interfere with my smallholding function, but allows me to recharge my batteries( albeit meaning i have to keep our son occupied all day). A reasonable relationship, with enough unity and enough friction to keep us happy.( her colleagues are also rich enough to purchase  stuff from me at a higher, means justified price, than my friends, relatives and neighours.)

[Fluffywelshsheep]

lol as long as you are both happy chalk and cheese
good to see such differences making a happy couple

Linz

[ballingall]

lol Carl!

My oh had never really lived the smallholder life before he met me. He had certainly never met as many goats! He is very good, he comes out with me to "do" (milk feed and water) the goats every night as my mum does them in the morning. He even mucks out, and has learnt to trim feet,  to give vaccinations, to milk and much more. The garden I can't really get him as interested in sadly. He has promised to do my digging for me, but is now muttering about a rotavator instead (wonder why?!). He has proved to be rather good at putting fence posts in, which I am pleased about. We have created two duck runs recently.