[nails]

I will try and cut a very long story short.
Since September 2008 when i moved a mile down the road, my cat Murphy has been going back up to the old house, he has mussled himself into a house and lived there for a while, until someone see the posters i had put around and informed the man who was looking after him, he phoned me, i went and got Murphy, 2 days later i had a call to say he was back there again, i have kept him in for weeks at a time, brought stress aids to try and help, driven the wrong way home to disorientate him, nothing as soon as i let him out back he goes!!!!!!
We do have another 6 cats, 4 were mine and the other 3 were my new partners.
Anyway last year the guy who was looking after Murphy and calling me when he was missing moved, and his neighbour started calling me when Murphy appeared, that was till November 2010 when we had the snow, Murphy disappeared. I put posters round the local area and the village shops, but no one ever got in touch. I resigned myself to believe that Murphy had died because of the weather, or he had found a cosy fire to lay in front.
That had been it for the last 8-9 months no sight or sound of him.
Well Monday morning 10/07/11 on my way to work, i caught sight of a cat that looked like Murphy, i stopped the car, got out and called him and sure enough it was my boy, a little fatter than the last time i saw him, so i now know he is being fed. i gave him a cuddle and kisses through my tears of joy, but he jumped down and ran off.
My problem now is what should i do?
Do i go look for him and bring him back home?
More posters and hope that who ever is looking after him will find it in their heart to contact me?
Leave him where he is (Hardest one of all)?
If i bring him home then he will have to be a house cat for a few weeks, until he settles again, i have looked into getting the electric fencing and collars so i can confine him to my house and garden, but not sure if this would be cruel.

Any help and advice would be gratefully received, and sorry this is so long and drawn out.

Donna

[doganjo]

I apologise in advance if this hurts. 

I had two cats, one has gone permanently missing, presumed dead, never been seen again.  Her brother disappeared for three weeks, was told he'd been seen a mile away near horses (he'd been brought up with them and loves them), left my card on their gate, they called and agreed not to feed him, and to ensure their barns were locked, so most of the time Rio now stays home.  If he disappears for a couple of nights I know Carol will let me know if she's seen him.

Cats are free spirits.  They are not like dogs that you can fence in.  Your boy is happy, he is well fed, he still knows you.  You have another 6 cats, if this lad has found a new home and wants to be there why should you deprive him and his new family of that?

Let him go.

[nails]

I understand what you are saying totally, there may be a chance in a few months time that we move back to my house, so he may come back then, he was my first cat i saw him being born, i know cats will do what they want, but i feel like i have just given up.

[doganjo]

I understand what you are saying totally, there may be a chance in a few months time that we move back to my house, so he may come back then, he was my first cat i saw him being born, i know cats will do what they want, but i feel like i have just given up.

NO you won't have given up, you'll have agreed with him that this is what he wants.  Just leave him be and if you do move back - (sorry, I don't understand why you moved away then are moving back but that is none of my or anyone else's business)  he will then have to make another choice - go with his new people or come back to you.  I understand perfectly about having soft spots for animals you have seen born, 3 of my 4 dogs were bred by me.  

[SallyintNorth]

nails, that's a heart-wrenching story. 

As Annie says, Murphy has made his choice, is happy and well-cared for, and it sounds like it's not really possible to stop him being where he wants, so love him and let him go. 

All I would say is if you can find some way of letting the people who are caring for him now know the history and ask that if they were to move or for any other reason be unable or unwilling to look after him that they would bring him back to you.

Cats - we love them for being free spirits :sigh:

[faith0504]

I have to agree with everyone else, its very hard but you just have to go with what the cat wants, they are there own bosses,

One of ours has gone without trace and the other spends his time between us and the neighbour,

Cats do what they think is best for them not us

 

[feldar]

I would have to say let him go too
My cat spends more time with my nieghbour than with me but they are home all day. I think he will be miserable if you kept him in for a time and he might stray when you let him out again anyway. I think the fact he was well fed and in good condition, is your criteria for leaving him where he was.
I think cats need the freedom to decide for themselves what is best for them.

[SallyintNorth]

I've a friend who's a vet.  He says the maximum for the number of different families who all brought the same cat in, each believing it was theirs, is SEVEN!

[nails]

LOL so i can only hope that someone will call me then!!!!!!!

Doganjo you said in your last post "I don't understand why you moved away then are moving back but that is none of my or anyone else's business" I will explain because i think that this has some reason as to why Murphy has wandered.
When i met my now Hubby, he was living in his parents house (they live in france) i have a house with a mortgage etc 3 bed semi, Hubbys parents house is a lovely farm cottage, down a very rural road, with approx 2 acres of land, and at the time the family goat was there as well. So when we decided to move in together, his property was the best solution, my daughter moved into my house and paid rent to cover Mortgage. when Terry and i got together i had 4 cats he had 3 soooooo because of the location seemed ideal for our kittys. Murphy seemed to be the only one that didn't get on with Terrys cat Tia, (she is a bit of a diva) and i think she may be one reason why he went back to the old house. We may be moving back to my house in the new year as Terrys parents have decided to sell the house we are in, and we can't afford to buy it!
Murphy seems to get on with Terrys other 2 cats, but he and Tia really don't get on. But as a lot of people say cats are free spirits and will do what that want!

[doganjo]

Ah, makes sense now - thanks for sharing that Nails.  I'd have moved too - what a shame you can't buy it.  Would they not be happy to rent it to you longer term with a view to buying it when you can?
What will your daughter do - will she have to move out?  - and the big question is will Murphy go with her

[nails]

Doganjo, we wouldn't be able to afford it, even if a sold my house, they may decide not to sell and continue to rent it to us for longer, as they have no plans moving back to england. Yes my daughter would have to move out, and it has crossed our minds to try and get Murphy there and she would feed him, so it is an option

[ellied]

I would agree cats make their own decisions and people can't control them so sad as it can be, we have to let them go or we'd just be making them miserable for our benefit

Cats are highly territorial, their attachment is to place rather than person if it comes to it, so if you move back then chances are you'll re-inherit your cat

Another possible reason for his move tho is if 7 cats are moved in together and he doesn't like one, he'd just find somewhere more comfortable for him so it depends if you move back whether he feels he has enough space to keep away from her, and if not then he'll stay with someone local to "his" patch rather than necessarily the family who own him (ie you) even if you do move back..

Cats that grow up together particularly mother/kittens or litter siblings, will get on much better than cats introduced later, tho they usually come to tolerate each other given enough space.  7 cats where there were 4 may just have been too much to handle, particularly in a new house/space, so if his old hunting grounds are within a mile or so (his hunting range may have included where you now are before) it would be far easier for him to find somewhere else to sleep than to deal with the other cat

[SallyintNorth]

Cats are highly territorial, their attachment is to place rather than person if it comes to it

They're territorial alright!  But it's not always true that they are more attached to a place than to a person - or other living being.  As I've said in another topic, I've had cats who have travelled around the country with me, clearly feeling that home is wherever I am (and usually the dog is too.) 

[Hatty]

I share my boy with 3 other families that I know of. He is such a handsome chap, although he is mine!!!!, I agree with everyone else they do their own thing

[Roxy]

One of my farm cats, has moved to a house further up the lane.  I see her sometimes when out on the ponies, and she stll recognises my voice, and will come to me for a fuss.  I assume the people started to feed her, and she decided to stay ....think she lives outdoors still.  But, when they go on holiday, she appears back at our farm for two weeks!!

One of my toms disappeared for a year, but I glimpsed him sometimes in fields in the village, so knew he was ok.  Then a couple of weeks ago, who should appear back at the cats caravan, and is there every night since!!