[Buffy the eggs layer]

Hi All,

   as you lot are such a creative and resourceful bunch I though you might help me with my latest project.

We moved to our holding at the end of may last year and since then all I have done is gone to work 5 days a week and worked on getting the house and land sorted all weekend, evenings and holidays. As a result I'm feeling a little lonely and isolated as I dont have any friends in the area. It would be great to have a break from the stead once a week and catch up with some fun loving girls and guys but I am struggling to make any inroads into finding a social life out here ( East Yorkshire) As I drive 90 miles a day to work and back I dont really want to venture too far once I am home as I am pretty shattered but a quiz night in the local pub or an evening class in a local venue would be managable.


Any suggestions....,

Buffy

[Brucklay]

Moved from Perthshire to Aberdeenshire 3 years ago - love my place and work from home so really only go out for animal feed when I get the car ... not complaining but this is my social life  - maybe we could have more local 'meet ups' for sad people like me!!

[doganjo]

We have had a few TAS meet ups in the past - great fun. 

I moved here 3 years ago, and at the time I told my kids that I was doing it now rather than in 10 years time when I had to, so I could make a new life for myself and new friends.  So I went out of my way to meet people by using local tradesmen for  any work I needed doing on the house,  handing out eggs to neighbours so I could meet them.  Joined freecycle (now Freegle) and met folk that way by giving things and receiving them, met Sandy on here when I googled  'chickens local', found Rosemary same way.  Now my kids joke with their friends that they have to make an appointment to see me 

[faith0504]

I moved up to join my OH 16 months ago, he  and my animals are my social life, oh and on here, i don't have the time or the inclination to go out meeting people, it can get a wee bit lonely sometimes, i do miss my friends from home, but i wouldn't swap the life i have now, for anything,


Do you get a local paper? they usually have things that are going on in local areas, libraries usually have ads with any groups that are going on,
the ads board in the local shop maybe  


Good luck  

[bloomer]

what about an evening class in something useful for the small holding?

not done one myself, but would consider it if there was something that might be useful to learn and you'd meet like minded/interested people at the same time.

[Sandy]

Hi, like Anne said, I moved here and worked in Glasgow for a start and we were a bit busy, our neighbours are nice and they invite me to parties etc where I meet people, they got me into having some chickens so I did the same as Anne doganjo, googled Chickens and found Rosemary and Dan, then THis, TAS, where I meet some wonderful people, both in the flesh and the virtual world!! I also am a keen collector of rubbish so Freecycle was great too, that also helped me find my way around the area.  So, a local course, walking your dog localy (thats where Steve has met some nice people) helping out voluntary somewhere like scouts, the local pub, joining local history, walking, social group etc.  In my time I have done all of that and found it the bestest way to meet people like yourself, that and night classes!!!!!!!! SOrry for talking rubbish, my brain is still in bed!!

[Roxy]

Well, as some of the others have said, my smallholding is my life.  To be honest, its so late at night, and I am so tired when all are fed and watered, its too late to go anywhere.  I work part time, but even then its often on my own.  Some days I see no one - maybe chat to a hiker who looks over the fence, or someone who comes for eggs.

During the summer I do take my ponies to shows, and have a wide network of friends there, and we have a catch up on our lives.

Most of my none animal friends have dropped by the wayside.  Who can blame them, when I keep refusing offers to go out!!!

I am not complaining,  - I enjoy the company of my animals and pottering about!!

All I can suggest is perhaps looking in the local library (if there is one) or the village notice board, for things that interest you, or even something new you could try .... and take the plunge and join.  Quite a few ladies I know have joined their local WI, and said its not all old ladies in tweed, some really good talks on, and various outings.  Only thing is the hostess bit, where you have to make cakes etc. when its your turn to do the refreshments.  I like baking but that bit could be daunting!!

Have you any interest in voluntary work - doing something useful, and hopefully making new friends?  Or getting involved with maybe the village fete, garden party whatever?  Usually they are grateful for new faces and ideas, and would welcome you in!!

To be honest, some places are a bit iffy with "incomers" and it takes time for them to get to know and like you!!  Obviously if you work, which most of us do, you are not there during the day, and therefore not as involved in village life.

[Cinderhills]

I found some friends by volunteering with the local RSPCA.  But I expect what with work and the chickens you probably won't find time to volunteer regularly.

Feel free to pop in again though.  Shame you're not closer as I would love an evening out. 

[Beewyched]

Yep, pretty much the same here too.  Moved to Scotland 18 months ago for OH's job to a relatively rural smallholding coz we got dogs & not many folks would rent properties ... "no DSS, children, pets etc etc"  though we rented our house out in Wales to someone with dogs themselves. 
I got a 12-month contract myself, travelling 80+ miles, 5 days a week, which ended in November last year & didn't have time (or energy to do much else) finding it pretty hard to get anything since.  Have been busy trying to get our holding sorted, as we only have 2 acres - big garden, small paddock & woods, with 2 old cow byres.  Managed to rent a 4 acre field a couple of miles away & have just got 1 of the pig arcs built (well my OH did most of the work).  Problem now is only the one wage coming in & the cost of everything going through the roof - mainly animal feed & petrol, so think twice about any travelling.
We found karen (HappyHippy) through the Kune Kune Society, who pointed us in the direction of TAS & the SPKA.  So we are gradually starting to get to know folks - it's not easy I know, just keep at the forums there's plenty of like-minded folks on here & there must be some near to you.
Don't know what stock you have, but the show season is starting again, so maybe you could try going to some of the agricultural events in your area & have a mooch about.
 

[ballingall]

Whereabouts are you Beewyched?

Buffy, egglady made a good suggestion ages ago, which was that people on here in each other's local area should have "smallholding meetings" - just a get together to see what each other's smallholding is like. Maybe you could try that for your area.

I have pretty much the same issue, I work all week so only at home at the weekends, and don't see much of the neighbours. Don't really get on that well with our closest neighbours which is a shame. The WI is ok, as Roxy said it is not all old ladies.

Use the internet for your local area- I met my fiancee on the internet (on a forum about Formula 1!), and we actually have a small group of friends from the same forum where we met that all live within about 30 miles. We don't see each other all the time, but about 2-3 times a year.

Beth

[bazzais]

I always find that talking to animals and other objects such as brushes, spades and vehicles always works for my day to day conversations. 

Its very hard to find good new friends - I'll give it that.

G'luck

Baz

[Sandy]

I talk to everything and every one!!!

[doganjo]

I talk to everything and every one!!!

I think we already knew that 

[Sandy]

I was nearly (actualy was) in tears this week, one of our guests told me how he changed his job etc after his wife died with cancer last year, she was 48 and only was diagnosed 3 mths before she died, he showed me photos, the other man staying also has lost his wife but he is older, makes you apreciate what you have, even if its only £40 until next Friday!!.....that money will go up later today due to new guests arriving, so, we can pay at least one bill!!!!!!!!! Meeting up with TAS memebers will be the best option, I lived in a very posh village and went to a WI meeting and found they were not my thing and I do not make cakes on demand   I thought about History Society as well but no, not a place for me as an outsider at the time, that particular village, the best place to meet people was durring a dog walk or in the local shop!!!!!!! At least TAS people understand dirty fingernails 

[Buffy the eggs layer]

Thanks guys,

  you lot are great

       It nice to know that many of you share my experiences of working full time as I do and have a fairly lengthy commute as well at trying to do up a house, garden, outbuildings and 7 acres. We are still far from finished here but life is short and I want to enjoy it and share it with others. Because the house is in such a mess we havent been able to invite anyone round as we have nowhere for them to eat, sleep over etc. As all our free time goes into working on the place we never go out to meet anyone, we cant seem to justify the time. We are hoping that the builder will start soon which should move us on to the decorating phase and then we can share our home with our friends again. 

Sandy and Bazzais,

  I do talk to the chickens ( constantly ) but will try extending my conversation to include the garden tools and see how I get on.

I think all your suggestions of joining local groups make alot of sense but we recieved quite a frosty reception when we moved in and I guess I feel very much as an unwelcome outsider as Roxy says. A local smallholder meet would be great and I recently tried to organise one with local members from the North Yorks smallholder society. I phoned 14 local members to suggest the meet up, 11 agreed but only 3 replied to my emails and 2 turned up. I did arrange a mini TAS one at the rare breed auction and met Cinderhills and Mick York which was lovelly. I will put another post on the forum and see if I can find any local members who are up for a get together.

Cinderhills,

  thanks for the invite. I am happy to come over your way for a get together one afternoon \ eve. Now that the days are longer I feel abit more energised and on top of things.

I will let you all know how I get on, better dust off those baking trays!

Buffy