I hand-milk a Jersey and she has a calf on her too as she gives way more milk than we need for the house.
Rosemary asked me to write up how I got Hillie trained for milking, this is the thread:
http://www.accidentalsmallholder.net/forum/index.php?topic=13031.0I started training her before she had the calf, so your situation is very different as your cow is used to rearing her calf without intervention and now is being asked to accept big changes.
I agree with LL, the peeing and pooing is to tell you that she is upset.
Firstly, I would give her cake while you milk her. She deserves it! And it will certainly help her to think about something else while she gets used to these new sensations. Your instinct to
not teach her that she gets cake if she is fractious and to train her to expect cake when you have had your milk is good - but you can do both these things and still let her get cake while she's being milked. Save a bit for afterwards, and don't ever tip more in her bucket unless she's standing quietly where you want her - but that can be just a moment of stillness! She will get the message, honest - they are way more intelligent than often given the credit for.
If you are worried about having to give her too much cake, mix it with molassed chaff or something to bulk it out so it takes longer for her to eat it. Also, remember that she's learning and is finding it difficult - she'll be more settled and need less cake when she gets used to it all.
Secondly, having let her rear the calf without intervention up to now, I would build up towards where you want to be slowly, step by step, rather than try to get everything how you want it in a big bang. It probably doesn't matter too much what order you do things in, only that you make small changes and get her settled to each before introducing the next one. So, for instance, I might, over the course of a few weeks:
- get her used to coming in and being tied up and getting some cake
- start to take the calf away while she has her cake
- start to 'mess on' with her, stroking and so on, and around her udder too, while she's eating her cake
- see if I can get the odd squirt of milk while I'm messing on (just squirt it on the floor, not worrying about buckets or sitting under her yet)
- if there isn't even a little bit of milk without keeping the calf off, start taking the calf off overnight
- see if I can get a few squirts into a plastic jug (so no buckets or sitting under her yet)
- introduce a small bucket and start to sit under her (or squat next to her)
- if she's still not letting me have the milk even though she's getting cake to eat, maybe try letting the calf out to suckle on one side while I take some milk from the other, or from the back
and so on.
Whenever she resists, use 'pressure and release'. Ask for the teeniest bit of what you want, as soon as she gives even a fraction, immediately remove the pressure. Wait a few seconds then ask again. Again, as soon as she yields, stop asking. Do it a few times today then leave it and do some more tomorrow, or this evening.
As to physically how to milk a short-legged cow, hopefully there will be others with more experience of that to offer ideas. I did start milking Hillie with the bucket on the floor, held steady between my feet, but I didn't find that comfortable at all, plus it's too easy to get a foot-in-bucket or kicked-over-bucket incident (whether by accident or design

) so I now sit on an upturned tub and have the bucket between my calves/knees. I can get snugly underneath her like this - but she'll be quite a bit taller than your Doireann.
Hillie is now an absolute dream to manage. She never ever poos or pees in the milking parlour (it's just a stall in the byre, but I like to call it the milking parlour

) She will stand quietly chewing the cud if she's finished her cake before I have finished milking her. But we didn't get to here overnight!
Good luck, take things slowly and hopefully you will soon be enjoying your own lovely milk
