I too have a dairy allergy, I think it's a lot to do with pasteurisation killing off the bacteria that does your gut good. I can't tolerate cows milk, butter etc. but am ok with a limited amount of goat and sheep.
You can get dairy free margarine in the supermarket (but I would rather go without!) also for tea etc. coconut or hazel milk is nice.
I will look for cashew cheese, Thyme.