Author Topic: Second dog (Read 3396 times)

ladyK · « **on:** March 28, 2015, 05:43:30 pm »

I have wanted a second dog for a while, ever since we moved out here really. Have been looking at local rescues on and off, though not very systematically, partly because it somehow feels like a very big step (like having a second child...) partly because our first dog, Mojo (a rescue staffie cross) can get stressed by other dogs.
After a few false starts we brought the potential second dog home yesterday, initially for a 2 week trial period.
She's the best match we have found for Mojo yet, a very laid back, gentle-natured female staffie, who doesn't seem to worry him.
Everything is going rather well actually, having had her here for just a day, but I can't get rid of the feeling that I'll be never able to click with her the way I do with Mojo. And somehow this makes me feel I am doing both dogs wrong.
Mojo is sharp, witty and very focussed, to the point of being a bit obsessive, and a very sensitive soul too, she is more like a easy-going, trundling-along type of lady. Cute and very likeable, but not a 'love at first sight' kind of dog, not for me anyway.

I know this sounds like a silly problem, and probably sounds really soppy, but I would be grateful for any voices of reason or shared experiences out there.

Caroline1 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 28, 2015, 05:51:46 pm »

I had my first dog for 5 yrs before getting a second and it does take a while to adjust I now love both of them but my first Will always have a special place in my heart. Recently adopted 2 more and am very fond of them but they still feel a bit like they are on loan from the rescue rather than mine. I think it is ok to have favourites and find each of mine have characteristics that I love. It is more about the dogs having a better lifestyle than they otherwise would. That's my opinion anyway. Give it time and I am sure if the dogs get on then it will be fine

doganjo · « **Reply #2 on:** March 28, 2015, 06:19:47 pm »

Yes, just give it time. I had two, an older bitch I bred myself, plus her nephew , then was offered an outstanding 2 yrs old bitch that I just couldn't refuse. She fitted in fine with the other two but it was only after a few months that she and I 'gelled'.

ladyK · « **Reply #3 on:** March 29, 2015, 11:58:41 am »

Your comments made me feel better, thank you.

But we're now on Day3 and there are occasional bouts of tension developing - I guess they both realise it's not just a day trip.
There was even a scuffle this morning when new dog managed to get both tennis balls into her mouth and Mojo just flipped. Both have a small scratch on their cheeks as a result but don't seem to hold a grudge, but it was quite unsettling.

Not having had 2 dogs before I'm finding it very hard to judge what is normal posturing and sorting out of a new order and what has potential of creating ongoing stress.

So still not sure I can handle this!...

doganjo · « **Reply #4 on:** March 29, 2015, 12:22:37 pm »

You need to establish with both of them that they do as you tell them. Any body language needs to be watched - that'll give you a heads up before any 'scuffling' and don't leave balls, toys and bones etc around just now till they are settled. Only have toys out when you are playing with them and don't arouse any competition. Make one sit and wait while the other is being played with - behind a wall, or a baby gate. If you throw a ball they will both go for it and a 'scuffle' or even a full blown fight may arise.

ladyK · « **Reply #5 on:** March 29, 2015, 12:37:27 pm »

We did actually try to play 'separately but together'. OH was playing with Mojo and his ball, I was playing with new dog and separate ball (I think I'll call her Lola).
I can see that it will take a bit of time to teach her to drop a ball when asked, but she will let go if something else flies past, Mojo's ball or whatever. I guess it will have to be 3rd ball in pocket for now, and throw her that if she grabs both at once.

in the hills · « **Reply #6 on:** March 29, 2015, 05:06:21 pm »

I agree with Doganjo but would go even further and leave any games involving toys completely alone for now. As long as they are well exercised they won't miss out too much. 'Toys' could be a spark for aggression that you really don't need right now .... not worth the risk IMO.

As Doganjo says watch all body language and be on them like a tonne of bricks if they show any sigs of real aggression ..... before they have chance to get going.

Good luck with them.

Old Shep · « **Reply #7 on:** March 29, 2015, 08:21:18 pm »

Yes its important that the new dog and you establish some trust first so lots of one to ones before any tense moments between the 2 dogs. If new dog is submissive you need to have established that you are the protector, if the new dog is bossy you need to have established some respect so that you can call them to you to avoid a situation.

SallyintNorth · « **Reply #8 on:** March 30, 2015, 08:21:36 am »

In general, a male and a female dog will get along pretty well. Doesn't mean they won't compete for possessions - and your attention - but real fights are unusual, IME.

As to not 'clicking' straight away... I always find this with a new dog, whether it's alongside another or a new only dog. The bond one had with the previous (or other incumbent) dog has developed and evolved over years together. A new one won't be a part of you in the same way for months or years, it can't be. Neither of you know how to read each other yet, what each other's likes and dislikes are, each other's rhythms. In that sense, any new or particularly replacement dog is always a disappointment - it doesn't and can't, yet, replace the previous.

As long as you don't actively dislike the new dog, don't worry, the bond will grow.

You also wonder whether such an 'easy' dog can be as close and valued a companion as the sharper dog.

My first dog, the first that was mine, as an adult, rather than the family pet, was a rescue. He was a one-off and I will never ever forget him, nor will most people who met him. He wasn't an easy dog though. A later dog, of similar type, couldn't have been more different. Loved everybody and everything, relaxed as though on permanent Prozac, but a fun and loving dog. I suppose I never did love Horace in quite the way I loved Moses, but that's not the same thing at all as saying I didn't love him. I loved him to pieces. The most wonderful thing about him was how easy it was to be with him - anywhere, any time, with anyone or anything, you just never needed to worry about what Horace was doing or how Horace would react. To the extent that I realised I would not knowingly choose a dog as difficult as Moses ever again.

So give Lola time.

The only other thing I'd mention is that, if Mojo is already a bit unhappy about other dogs, if he decides that Lola is his bitch, he could become quite aggressive if other male dogs come around her. So if you haven't already had it done, you might want to consider getting him neutered.

Caroline1 · « **Reply #9 on:** March 30, 2015, 01:54:27 pm »

All sounds normal to me so far and male on male or male on female issues normally get sorted. It is when there are female on female issues that they tend to hold a grudge against each other. Just be ready to step in when it looks like it may get out of hand. I agree about keeping toys out of the way for about 2 weeks as this is going to be the main reason for a issue to develop. Jealousy is the other common one, if one dog is getting attention and the other isn't.

Staffys tend to be a bit pushy anyway, but as long as they both know the rules it should be fine. Good luck!

Kimbo · « **Reply #10 on:** April 03, 2015, 03:11:36 pm »

we had our first spaniel for 4 years when we adopted our second spaniel from a rescue centre. I can completely understand you not falling head over heels with Lola straight away but I don't think you need to. You have had the heart to adopt her so that's a good enough start. Im sure you will grow closer to her in time.