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Author Topic: dog rules for children  (Read 782 times)

wannabesmallholder

  • Joined Jan 2017
dog rules for children
« on: July 16, 2018, 06:40:48 am »
I received some sage advice on here a month or so ago over an incident where my parents-in-law's dog nipped my four year old son on the face.

We are due to be be seeing PILs again next week, this time in their home, so even harder for me to insist on them restraining the dog, so my husband and I will be supervising carefully. 

We would like to set some "dog rules" for the children, so that they know how to behave around the dog and what they should and shouldn't do.  We have never owned dogs before, so don't really know anything about dog training or psychology. 

Could you give me a list of dos and don't with regards to children and dogs, so I can prep the children before our visit and be alert to when we are there?

Thank you!
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mojocafa

  • Joined Sep 2012
  • Angus
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2018, 07:40:39 am »
Rule 1. Stay away from the dogs!
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Buttermilk

  • Joined Jul 2014
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2018, 08:24:45 am »
Rule 2  Ignore the dogs!

Terry T

  • Joined Sep 2014
  • Norfolk
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2018, 10:39:27 am »
Many dogs feel threatened by being patted on the head or stared at, or squeeling, so avoid this.
If you want the two to gradually interact, both need to be calm and relaxed.
Let the dog sniff the kids hand while supervised and potentially let the children feed the dog a long treat.
I’ve found with nervy children, teaching them a couple of commands the dog knows such as sit or stay -and then providing a reward for the dog helps build their confidence.
Good luck, I hope they become friends

harmony

  • Joined Feb 2012
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2018, 11:03:04 am »
From what I recall the situation around what was happening when your child was bitten is a bit hazy but this time when they meet in will be on the dogs home ground and I am not sure where the dog is in the pecking order in the house. I seem to remember that your PIL were struggling a bit with him.


I would talk to your PIL before you visit. Explain your concerns and suggest that when you arrive the dog is introduced to you when he is sitting calmly. He shouldn't be allowed to jump up. Jumping up is encouraged by people petting dogs so none of you should do it.


You need also to talk to the children without frightening them but making sure that they just leave the dog alone. That when they are out on a walk they can throw a ball when the dog is calm. Terry T's suggestion of learning a command could be useful too. I do not advocate treats. If the dog hasn't learnt to take on command and gently that could result in tears and the dog looking for treats from the children.


No leaving the children alone with the dog. No playing with the dog on the floor.


The problem with watching for a problem and trying to deal with it is you will probably be too slow to react before the damage is done. It is better to manage the situation so the opportunity doesn't arise.


If the dog can't behave in the room with the children it should be removed.


Good luck and I hope your trip is a pleasant one.

Scarlet.Dragon

  • Joined May 2015
  • Aberdeenshire
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2018, 11:20:18 am »
"Sit" and "paw" may be good commands for the kids to try with the dog.  Both will require the dog to concentrate and remain calm.  I agree no treats as that will encourage the dog to get excited.  Praise when he does what he's told and maybe a gentle pat or stroke on the shoulder.  If he has a toy he likes then perhaps playing throw with that, but be careful that he must "drop and leave", then "sit" before the child picks it up... otherwise there's a possibility they both go to grab the toy at the same time and child is accidentally nipped.  If the dog stands up when the child goes to pick up the toy, the child steps back and insists on "sit" again or there's no game and the "sit" should be a couple of feet away from the toy as the dog will move faster than the child.
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Backinwellies

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Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2018, 11:24:54 am »
Never approach dogs  , if dog comes over to say hello never put hand over head to pat … offer hand to sniff first,.   Do not give dog eye contact on initial meeting … ignore so dog knows it is not top dog.

If parents will play ball (not literally!) then allowing child to put dog food down whilst dog is told to stay (or held back if it has NO manners) will tell dog where it sits in pecking order with children.

Ideas given about playing are good if dog knows 'sit and wait' or 'stay' …. if it doesn't I wouldn't even try this.
Linda

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Backinwellies

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Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2018, 11:26:27 am »
Just a thought (and a bit late for this visit)  that maybe worth finding a friend with a well behaved dog to show you and children how to interact
Linda

Don't wrestle with pigs, they will love it and you will just get all muddy.

Let go of who you are and become who you are meant to be.

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Steph Hen

  • Joined Jul 2013
  • Angus Scotland.
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2018, 12:34:05 pm »
Naughty dogs in houses with kids/visitors get kinda intense very quickly. As above: ignore, avoid, keep dog separate.
Best way to interact is outside, off lead somewhere, without balls/toys, just all go for some nice long walks.
Then you and the kids will see and feel how to behave, dog has space and isn't cornered, possessive or protective.
Just my opinion :-)

wannabesmallholder

  • Joined Jan 2017
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2018, 10:34:33 am »
Thanks all. The dog is not trained at all and doesn’t respond to any commands. So I think the advice to stay away and interact outside is probably best. The problem is my little boy gets very excited by the dog and wants to play etc, and this is encouraged by my father in law (who has been spoken to but carried on regardless). I think we have learned that we have to supervise and not allow PILs to be supervising, which is a shame. Also problematic for when they come to us and are doing childcare while I’m at work, but don’t have to face that problem for a few months now.... ???

So my basic rules to tell the kids are:
1. Ignore and turn your back on the dog when she jumps up
2. Only touch the dog when she’s being held and is calm (Er, never then....)
3. Don’t grab toys from dog when she’s playing with them
4. Don’t try to cuddle dog
5 . Don’t bother dog when sleeping/eating
6. Play with dog outside when we are around

I don’t want to make them frightened of her, but do you think they are reasonable given the circumstances?

Steph Hen

  • Joined Jul 2013
  • Angus Scotland.
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2018, 12:41:11 pm »
I fully understand and empathize with your predicament. mine are 19 months and 4years. Granny's dog is not great.


1. Ignore and turn your back on the dog when she jumps up

You as mum make YOURSELF top dog. If dog jumps up to say hello to your child, they turn away or ignore or squeak because they are excited, scared, confused, rather than you saying what most people would:
"Ignore the dog please! Get down. Get down!" etc,

Step right in (literally) to dog's space, in front of your child to physically move dog away with your legs. No need to say anything (if she doesn't know commands like "down" or "quiet", no point saying anything).
I'm not saying kick or hurt her at all. If you can avoid even looking at her so much the better.
She's a small boisterous dog, who's not really dangerous, just excited and confused. If you just walk forwards, into her space, she'll shift and that's a start to her realising you are in charge of your kid and she's subordinate.

I feel if your children are big enough, better for them to also just walk forwards like she's not there rather than them stopping, turning their backs which gives her bit too much influence over them. IYSWIM?

2. Only touch the dog when she’s being held and is calm (Er, never then....)

When on the floor. Small, nippy dogs on laps or sofas are notorious and much too close to kids faces.


If there's any chance you could get kids to meet other lovely dogs, would be good for them :-)  Good luck x


doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
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Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2018, 01:40:10 pm »
All great advice and your rules sounds just right. 

One last thing. Never, never, never, never let a dog have a bone when children are around. 

If she has a bone, or even a very favourite toy, remove it before the children are allowed in the same room.

Stay calm and enjoy your visit. :fc:
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Maysie

  • Joined Jan 2018
  • Herefordshire/Shropshire Border
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2018, 02:01:58 pm »
The dog is not trained at all and doesn’t respond to any commands.
This makes me really cross and is far too common.   :rant:

An untrained dog is just a problem which will last for years.  As owners we all need to take some responsibility for the ownership AND TRAINING of our pets.  To not do so is just irresponsible and selfish, particularly when it will clearly have an impact on their relationship with their grandchildren.  You must feel like you are banging your head against a brick wall. 

I really do sympathise with you and hope it all goes well, without too much stress!    :thumbsup:

YorkshireLass

  • Joined Mar 2010
Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2018, 06:11:43 pm »
It sadly sounds like PIL are not taking this seriously, even after the nipping incident.
So I'm afraid I would have this visit as make-or-break. Either PIL work with you to help dog and child interact (or rather, NOT interact) safely, or child is never left unsupervised with them. NEVER. Your child, your rules. And I can only guess how difficult and complicated taking a stand now will make your life further down the line, and I really do sympathise. But it sounds like they're not even making the attempt.

Backinwellies

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Re: dog rules for children
« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2018, 08:13:47 am »
How did it go?       If PIL are unable / unwilling to train dog to any extent then I fear you are in for a long battle... And the dog is sadly going to get worse not better behaved.      Could anyone else stay when you are working?   
Linda

Don't wrestle with pigs, they will love it and you will just get all muddy.

Let go of who you are and become who you are meant to be.

http://nantygroes.blogspot.co.uk/
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