I know I haven't posted anything in a while and please do feel free to tell me to go if you like
I felt the need to talk to people I am familiar with. These past 2 weeks have been pretty difficult for me, I had to ditch a friend who was bullying me. Someone I considered very close and, shamed to say never met irl, online. Since then I have gone through varying degrees of self blame, what I could have done to prevent it getting to this position. Problem is I am friends with his best mate, who is lovely btw, we are all mates on Skype and usually do group chat. It hurts whenever I see them talking to each other and knowing I can't join in because of what happened. It's been agony and I still keep blaming myself, even though ik it wasn't my fault, it feels like it is even though it most certainly isn't. I said I don't want to speak to him again, but he won't take no for an answer. Instead he's blocked me until my mood changes. Do I unfriend him or do I keep him there and not talk to him? Sorry this may seem really crazy, I just needed a second opinion. I am torn between wanting to go back and speak to him and not wanting to. Mum said it's like watching an abusive relationship and she doesn't want to see me get hurt again. Silly thing is I had feelings for him for a while and now it feels like a part of me has been torn away, I feel so empty. They say loneliness is better than an abusive friendship/relationship, but it feels horrible. I guess I just need to forget him and go get other friends, friends who appreciate and respect me and respect my religion and not try to change me no matter how much I protested against wanting to be changed. Sorry am rambling now, just wanted to get this out...