[Rupert the bear]

Duck tape!

Sigh, we've had baler twine mentioned recently now Duck tape, you must be an engineer then, Duck tape the engineering solution to broken stuff !

[Womble]

Yes, I believe you're right, Scarlet Dragon! 


I once used Duct Tape to tape a duct. One of my proudest ever moments as an engineer (it worked so well, it could almost have been made for the task).  Well, that and the time I pointed out to an instrument technician which transmitter I believed to be faulty.... by kicking it..... and the machine instantly sprung into life! 

[Cuddles]

I'd suggest using a big stick, but knowing this lot they'd take that the wrong way 

On a more serious note, why not take the seat off and make a pair of crotchless toilet seat pants to put on when you feel the need to sit down?  winner winner, chicken dinner... Personally I think its the only sensible option you've been given

Here to help, not to hinder...

Cuddles

[landroverroy]

If you're going to start dismantling the whole thing it would be better to remove the lid. That way there would be room for the seat to go further back against the wall and it should stay up.

[Womble]

Yes, that would work, landroverroy. However, I'd then have to look at the inner workings of the ball cock mechanism (Yes I know they will Cuddles, but I can't think of another way to say it!).


I guess the alternative would be to demolish the wall and re-build it. If that sounds a little bit drastic, let's all remember that PK moved house just to get away from his errant toilet seat!!

[landroverroy]

 I don't mean the lid of your cistern Womble. Having to look at its innards might put you off your aim.
 I meant amputating the lid of the toilet seat, which I would have thought was preferable to removing the seat itself and resorting to crotchless pants. (Don't imagine Mrs Womble would enjoy sitting on cold porcelain anyway.)

[Womble]

Oh, I see what you mean now!  Perhaps the thought of crotchless toilet pants affected my mental acuity?

Of course, having no lid on the toilet seat would prevent me from standing on it to change the bathroom light bulb...... which is how I broke the original seat in the first place. Win-Win! 

(Don't imagine Mrs Womble would enjoy sitting on cold porcelain anyway.)

Probably more than she'd enjoy spending the weekend knitting crotchless toilet pants! 

[landroverroy]

 But realistically Womble let's imagine you go for wee say 4 times a day (rough average - I don't want to know details!) Let's imagine you put 5p in a jar each time you go (and Mrs Womble is free to contribute as well if she feels the need.) Then you would have at least 20p/day (or even more if Mrs Womble felt generous.) And in 5 days or even less you would have £1. So in 50 days (or less) you would have saved £10 - enough to buy a new toilet seat. (If you shopped around which being Scottish I'm sure you would.)

In the meantime, while you are saving up, you would have plenty of time to research the dimensions of your new seat to ensure it was fit for purpose. And then - in a month or so - new seat! Problem solved.


I would then suggest you carry on saving up and buy a small set of step ladders upon which to stand when next changing the light bulb, and so avoid going through this whole cycle of stress again.

              !! SIMPLES !!

[doganjo]

Yes, I believe you're right, Scarlet Dragon! 


I once used Duct Tape to tape a duct. One of my proudest ever moments as an engineer (it worked so well, it could almost have been made for the task).  Well, that and the time I pointed out to an instrument technician which transmitter I believed to be faulty.... by kicking it..... and the machine instantly sprung into life! 

My IT professional son calls that 'Percussive Mantenance' 

[Womble]

Ah, that's because he's an IT professional.

If he was a mechanical engineer, he'd just call it 'Maintenance'.

[Daisys Mum]

Go to Costco and buy a slow closing lid and seat, it will stay up long enough for you to have a very quick pee and at least enough time to save your bits 

[angie]

Don't get the seat that goes with the nutcracker suite   

[angie]

Could become a new Olympic game    he could be the first gold medal winner 

[landroverroy]

 I actually reckon that Womble has sorted the problem by now. But hasn't told us because of the amusement value of this post.
 (What sort of half decent engineer would put up with such an irritating problem for so long without having sorted it?)

So - go on Womble - put us out of our misery!!
What was your final solution??

[Womble]

er..........