[Jackie]

Beasts in The Mist

They gather in the full moon's light
On lonely roads at dead of night
With shining eyes that pierce the mists
They prey on passing motorists

Sure footed over rock and crag
A victim fresh to feast they drag
And all that’s left when feeding's through
Is a baseball cap and a training shoe

No wolf or hound will prowl the moors
And ghosts and ghouls stay home indoors
So when shrill screams disturb your sleep
Beware the Cumberland killer sheep

[supplies for smallholders]

Here is another one:

Mary had a little lamb,
Her father killed it dead
Now Mary takes that lamb to school
between two bits of bread !

 

Thanks

[Wizard]

Mary had a little lamb she also had a bear I've often seen her little lamb but I've never seen her bare !
Mary had a little watch she swallowed it one day.So now she takes Epsom Salts to pass the time away!

[craig]

Mary had a little lamb
it danced around in hops
it danced on the road one day
and finished up as chops.

[chickenfeed]

  mary also kept pigs it seems the verse on my mug goes

mary had a little pig
she got it fat and plastered
and when the price of pork went up
she shot the little ba****d


mary must have had a small holding 

[supplies for smallholders]

Apologies to Jackie the thread starter - we seem to have lowered the standard of the original post 

[Wizard]

There's always one thats got to moan about keeping on track of the post if people don't like the post or where its going they wont post and it will die Very reminiscent of the Great Three on RCCF Don't you think Dixie

[supplies for smallholders]

I wasnt moaning - I started the first "Mary" Rhyme...

Thanks

[Jackie]

No problem SFS extra posts is what make the thread fun 

George and I often ramble off topic. 

[Wizard]

and are blinkin proud of it as nau :farmer:ll

[pikilily]

My friend Lesley wrote this for me!!


Rosemary, Minty, Mutton Jeff and Stew,
Poor little lambs and poor old Ewe,
All for the pot or the roasting tray,
Mustn't get soft, they'll be eaten some day.


Emma T

[MrsJ]

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
But when old MacDonald had a farm
He couldn't believe his eyes!

[MrsJ]

One of our syndicate is obviously desperate for our last ewe, Maz, to lamb and wrote the following:

The phone alarm rings and I crash out of bed,
pull on my trousers while clearing my head,
is this visit a check or does that lamb need feeding,
my rough scribbled note makes difficult reading.

Quiet down the stairs, fall over a dog in a heap,
now I'm really awake, not walking in my sleep,
Find my fleece, baseball cap and the wind-up flashlight,
Then creep through the back door out into the night.

I approach the shed keenly with fingers well crossed,
look over and soon see that all hope is lost,
I glower and I wish that she only just would...
but Maz stares back contentedly chewing the cud.

Are you really pregnant or just a great ball of fluff?
If the former I wish you would soon do your stuff.
Or is it just wind and if I give you a start,
you'll suddenly explode with an almighty fart!

[pikilily]

LOL very good. 

That reminds me Tuppence lambed last sunday and then on monday got greedy and ate more than her share of hard feed.  That night she blew up and looked fit to give birth all over again. she was grunting and restless and seemed to be straining....i was really quite worried that she was really bloating. Anyway at three in the morning when i was just thinking I needed to call the vet - she got up, stretched and gave the most almighty simultaneous belch and fart. Her poor lamb just about got blown off the teat.

she lay down and promptly went back to sleep.  and I was left contemplating the approaching dawn.
Emma T

[MrsJ]

Hope there were no naked flames close by!