I was 50 a couple of weeks ago and everyone knows by now that I neither send nor wish to receive cards and gifts for any Christmas or birthday. It mostly works out other than elderly aunts who I know wouldn't understand and I can tolerate on family goodwill, tho one makes rather offensive comments apparently unaware of the impact!
The fact I am overweight always seemed to inspire people to give chocolate or other junk, while insisting I have lost weight and no doubt if asked they'd wish I had lost more. This time having a zero in my age I was given 3 bunches of flowers, a tea set and oven dish for one, some expensive skin cream and 2 lots of £50. The money I have used to pay the train for the annual visit to the nicest aunt who just sent a funny card thankfully.
For the day I didn't tell people for the most part and went to my pilates class, had coffee with a couple of new friends from the gym, went a rather reflective walk and having turned down lunch with neighbours to keep them from plying wine and dessert, and lunches and days out from relations of a similar notion but involving further expense to reach, agreed to a quiet cuppa next door. She invited the other 3 and bought a chocolate cake and wine. I felt bad but insisted on tea and the smallest piece of cake, didn't take the rest home etc but it just never ends! You just have to keep saying no as politely as possible knowing you aren't being heard.
Maybe find something to ask for that meets their criteria of a gift and maybe is partially acceptable is the best you can hope for.
