[Castle Farm]

Letter to Mr. Cameron - Genius!!

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
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Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

[Louise Gaunt]

Excellent, especially the elderly/ criminal swap!

[RUSTYME]

Mmm ?
I have 3 brothers who have been in nick . 1 for 4 years , 1 for 8 years and 1 for 22 years .
I haven't been inside , but i can assure you , life inside isn't like the majority seem to think it is .
One spent nearly 10 years in  cells , meant for 1 , with 2 others  , not always the same 2 .
Locked up 23 hours per day with maniacs that want to kill you is not my idea of a fun time . No tv , no phones , no pc , no guard to come running when the nutter tries to kill you !
For those that really think prison is an easy option , go and spend a month in one , you will have a different opinion when you get out .

[jaykay]

No, if we don't forward it, it's because it's inaccurate rubbish. It makes one or two decent points, and then ruins it with overblown nonsense.

[Castle Farm]

I'm afraid my views on prison may be a bit old fashioned, but put it like this if I ran the prison service you would never re offend.


I could save the tax payer millions every year by bring back the birch and hanging.

[RUSTYME]

 I wasn't aware i had commited an offence in the first place , but i thought we had moved on from middle ages style punishment .
Beat kids , cane them  , when they get older birch them too , yes that solves the problem , and if it doesn't hang them , that solves it then , and more importantly for some , it saves money , wtf ?

[fattylogs]

Brilliant and forwarded it on !!

[doganjo]

If our sentencing system was less random and variable we would have less people in jail who shouldn't be there and more people who should.  Use more community service as punishment - make the punishment fit the crime - And we'd save money!