Earlier this year, we taxpayers received an Economic Stimulus payment.
The explanation of this program was as follows:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set,
thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1 Spending stimulus money at Wal-Mart ~ your money will go to China.
2 Spending it on gasoline ~ your money will go to Saudi Arabia.
3 Purchasing a computer ~ it will go to India.
4 Purchasing fruit and vegetables ~ it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
5 Buying a car ~ it will go to Japan or Korea.
6 Purchasing useless plastic stuff ~ it will go to Taiwan.
7 Paying off your credit cards, or buying stock ~ it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in off-shore accounts.
Instead, you can keep the money in America by:
1 Spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2 Going to baseball or football games, or
3 Hiring prostitutes, or
4 Buying cheap beer, or
5 Getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the US.
Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale, and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed!
Topic: US stimulas check (Read 1912 times)
