Smallholders Insurance from Greenlands

Author Topic: Blokes rules !  (Read 2503 times)

HappyHippy

  • Guest
Blokes rules !
« on: September 04, 2009, 10:27:41 am »
Since we all know the rules according to women, and we've got the dogs rules now I reckon it's the turn of the blokes  ;)
I got this in an email the other day:

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down   

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side 

Now here are the rules from the male side.   


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! 

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down. You don't h ear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.....We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as  football or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape !

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -  to give them a bigger laugh.
   

Rosemary

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Barry, Angus, Scotland
    • The Accidental Smallholder
Re: Blokes rules !
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2009, 01:00:25 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

sandy

  • Guest
Re: Blokes rules !
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2009, 01:11:38 pm »
How true, I have to save all "everything" I have to say and say it all durring comercials, I am NO  TV fan, the TV is on yet I am on my laptop!!! men also have the power of the channel changer and flick, I often wounder why I cannot follow the plot!!! lost it ages ago so don't bother........funnily enough, male animals are different too...not just the obviouse bits

bigchicken

  • Joined Nov 2008
  • Fife Scotland
Re: Blokes rules !
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2009, 04:39:19 pm »
So so true all of it :farmer:
Shetland sheep, Castlemilk Moorits sheep, Hebridean sheep, Scots Grey Bantams, Scots Dumpy Bantams. Shetland Ducks.

marigold

  • Joined Jul 2009
  • Kirriemuir Scotland
Re: Blokes rules !
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2009, 11:30:54 pm »
Could have done with this 20 years ago ;D ;D ;D ;D
kirsty

 

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