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Author Topic: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?  (Read 5691 times)

colliewobbles

  • Joined Mar 2013
  • South Norfolk
Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« on: April 29, 2013, 10:10:41 am »
We recently took 6 call ducks froma lady as a favour - she had bought them as fluffy babies and suddenly had 6 noisy ducks in a tiny yard in the middle of a large, busy village.  She lives next door to my Dad and we took them as a favour - we didn't know her beforehand and really only ended up taking them because my Dad offered to be honest.

Anyway - 3 weeks ago she asked if she could come to see where they were and if they were settled.  We said yes and she came to see them and promptly hung around for about 2 hours, preventing us from getting on - we work full time so time at the field is precious.

The field we rent is at the back of a row of houses down a private track and is an extension of a lady's garden. 

Since she has found out where it is she has taken to going to the field with her young daughter at the weekend whenever she fancies, when we are not there, not checking first and texting us afterwards to tell us she has been.  At the field we also have our pigs, 20 chickens and will shortly be getting some sheep.  The owner of the land is also not exactly chuffed that strangers are just turning up and wandering onto the field either.

I am very p***ed off that this woman is doing this and feel that what she is doing is rude and presumptious.  Just wanted to run it by you lovely people on here - would you feel agrieved too if this happened to you?  We want to tell her to stay away - any ideas how we might do this without it turning nasty?  If it continues I actually feel like giving her the ducks back!

Donna

MarvinH

  • Joined Oct 2011
  • England
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2013, 10:12:48 am »
Be as bold as she is, tell her not to enter private property or you will take out an injunction on her.
Sheep

Clarebelle

  • Joined Jan 2013
  • Orkney
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2013, 10:17:55 am »
From the sounds of it, especially if she is taking her daughter down to see the animals, that she has probably just assumed that you wouldn't mind and that it is a nice place to o down and see the animals. I bet she doesn't give it a second thought and is just being naive.

Its a difficult situation really as you don't want to upset her, especially as it might make things awkward for your Dad. Maybe you could just let her know that she is welcome to see the ducks every now and then but that she has to ask you in advance and that sometimes you will just be too busy to have her there.

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
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Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2013, 10:23:49 am »
From the sounds of it, especially if she is taking her daughter down to see the animals, that she has probably just assumed that you wouldn't mind and that it is a nice place to o down and see the animals. I bet she doesn't give it a second thought and is just being naive.

Its a difficult situation really as you don't want to upset her, especially as it might make things awkward for your Dad. Maybe you could just let her know that she is welcome to see the ducks every now and then but that she has to ask you in advance and that sometimes you will just be too busy to have her there.
I was just going to write something similar.  She won't realise that it's not appreciated - she is not being either presumptuous or rude in my opinion.  She is only wanting to teach her daughter about animals - you could have a good friend here - she might be able to attend to your animals in an emergency!  Cultivate her. :excited:
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

colliewobbles

  • Joined Mar 2013
  • South Norfolk
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2013, 10:35:44 am »
Its a difficult situation really as you don't want to upset her, especially as it might make things awkward for your Dad. Maybe you could just let her know that she is welcome to see the ducks every now and then but that she has to ask you in advance and that sometimes you will just be too busy to have her there.

Yes that is one of our worries because my Dad does have to live next door to her.

I was just going to write something similar.  She won't realise that it's not appreciated - she is not being either presumptuous or rude in my opinion.  She is only wanting to teach her daughter about animals - you could have a good friend here - she might be able to attend to your animals in an emergency!  Cultivate her. :excited:

That's a really good point  :idea: hadn't thought of it like that - a week in Spain this summer it is then.   :P  See, I knew asking on here would help me to consider things differently  :)

Brijjy

  • Joined Sep 2010
  • Mid Wales
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2013, 10:46:27 am »
I've got neighbours that do come into my field quite regularly but as they are the ones that don't moan about my animals, I don't have a problem. They are very responsible and will top up the ponys water and give him scratch too. I did have some kids from the nearby village keep coming into the field and leaving doors open and "helping" by feeding the ponies. There were about 6 of them and as I've got 4 kids of my own, I don't really want more hanging around, especially as they were following my lot into the house too and asking for squash! I then told them politely but firmly that if they wanted to see the animals then they needed to knock on the door first and ask. They haven't been back since  :thinking: !
  I love the "cultivate her" comment from Doganjo, it's brilliant but it's very good advice. My friendly neighbour did my chooks when we went away last year, she loved it. Mind you it's a reciprocal arrangement as she brings her 9 month old rough collie to be hen trained and she's borrowing a couple of my kids to be "victims" for the puppy to find. He's in training to be a search and rescue dog.
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colliewobbles

  • Joined Mar 2013
  • South Norfolk
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2013, 11:28:38 am »
Well - I am coming round to the idea of 'cultivating' her but my hubby not so keen!!!  A little work to do there perhaps!!   :innocent:

Fleecewife

  • Joined May 2010
  • South Lanarkshire
    • ScotHebs
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2013, 11:39:29 am »
I would be a little cautious about someone whose idea of keeping animals was to get lots of cute fluffy ducklings without a thought of their future care  :&> :&>
 
So I would go slowly and find out far more about her before allowing her free access to your animals.  You might end up the best of friends but equally you might be stuck with someone you can't shake off.
 
As the land belongs to someone else, you could use them as an excuse to give her a specific time she could visit, and a limit to that time.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2013, 11:41:09 am by Fleecewife »
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lachlanandmarcus

  • Joined Aug 2010
  • Aberdeenshire
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2013, 11:39:44 am »
I think you can both cultivate her to turn the negative into a positive - and at the same time ask her to let you know when she would like to come down to see the animals as it is a courtesy thing (good word that, people don't like to think of themselves as not being courteous and it sounds like a small thing for them to do).
An old chap whose house overlooked the ponies summer grazing rented field used to hold me up for ages when I was trying to get on with stuff but he also used to tell me about anything that used to happen with the horses or any dodgy characters. I accepted the balance of the good with the slight pain. But he lived next to the field, I think your case is slightly different.
I wouldn't be afraid of saying (if they continue to come without letting you know/asking once you have told them they should) that you aren't willing to continue to keep the ducks if they aren't able to stop just turning up without any notification.
 
 

Derby_menagerie

  • Joined Jan 2012
  • Derby
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2013, 11:56:26 am »
As the field is rented you could also play it off as " the Landlord isn't happy for people to be there with out us", keeps things civil for your Dad etc. and also leaves the door open to her getting in touch to come see them/ look after if you're away etc. (after informing the landlord ofcourse).  Ideas!

OhLaLa

  • Joined Sep 2010
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2013, 06:35:45 pm »
Put a lock on the gate, and maybe a small 'private' or 'no entry' sign. She won't necessarily think it's aimed at her. When you see her next say the landlord is 'quite rightly' security conscious, but if she wants to pop around see the ducks, to contact you first to arrange a time and you will meet her there.
 
And if you are busy and have to crack on with stuff, just politely say so. And if you could do with the extra pair of hands, say she is welcome to grab a shovel and clean up the muck (or whatever job it is you need help doing). She may well soon clear off if she thinks she will be roped in to get dirty - and if she isn't - good on her for mucking in?
 
Let us know how you get on.
 :farmer:

Lesley Silvester

  • Joined Sep 2011
  • Telford
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2013, 10:13:54 pm »
My first thought (being someone who doesn't do confrontation) was also to say the land owner doesn't like people being there without you. If she is happy to make arangements to go when you are there and then hangs around, I would just get on with what you have to do. She may just be lonely and enjoy the company but she needs to realise that you have work to do. A quick "You don't mind if I get on do you?" should work. she can hardly say she does mind.

tizaala

  • Joined Mar 2011
  • Dolau, Llandrindod Wells,Powys
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #12 on: May 01, 2013, 08:03:22 am »
As soon as the ducks are big enough get them in your freezer and tell her the fox got them , no excuse then to keep coming round.  :idea:

MAK

  • Joined Nov 2011
  • Middle ish of France
    • Cadeaux de La forge
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #13 on: May 01, 2013, 08:12:08 am »
So can we sum up opinion on this difficult scenario.
as far as I can make out the above suggests.
1. Encourage them to visit on your terms.
2. tell them off.
3. Lock them out
4. Kill the ducks.

I'd avoide complex communication with them, kill the ducks and be quids in with the meat.
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colliewobbles

  • Joined Mar 2013
  • South Norfolk
Re: Taking advantage - we think!! What do you think?
« Reply #14 on: May 01, 2013, 01:17:43 pm »
So can we sum up opinion on this difficult scenario.
as far as I can make out the above suggests.
1. Encourage them to visit on your terms.
2. tell them off.
3. Lock them out
4. Kill the ducks.

I'd avoide complex communication with them, kill the ducks and be quids in with the meat.

 :roflanim:  :roflanim:  As for eating - they are call ducks so will just make a bit of a starter  ;)

Well - hubby is not keen on encourging her round even though I have tried to persuade him - he thinks she could become a bit of a pain in the proverbials.  My daughter, having met this lady, also feels the same about her!

We discovered an old run of 3 foot high chicken wire fencing along the edge of the lane/field boundary which had become buried in undergrowth.  We have lifted it, fixed to posts and run a line of wire along the top, we have refixed the large gate and created a makeshift pallet gate across the footpath entrance which is tied with cable ties at the moment.  I am also going to make some 'private' signs to attach.

We are going to use the owner of the land as an excuse and suggest that she OKs things with us before she comes down again.  Fingers crossed she might get the message. 

Donna

 

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