[Muc]

I can't grow rhubarb. It's embarrassing, I know, but there your are. Over the past five years I have planted several crowns, from friends and from garden centres, but they hang on for months and even put out a feeble shoot in the spring but eventually they just fade away.

 I have made planting holes and filled them with compost. I have fed them. I have starved them. I have watered them and I have kept them dry to no avail.

 At the moment there are three feeble specimens in a nice bed - two from a retail chain and one from a friend. They have wilting leaves and little or no growth and I know they will soon pass over.

 Last night I read that they are acid lovers and I live in limestone country. They've been pissing me off for years, so tonight I'm going to do the same to them.

[Sylvia]

Mine are grown in clay soil and do really well.

[Lesley Silvester]

Have you tried talking nicely to them?

If that doesn't work, swear at them.  It won't make them grow but it might make you feel better.

[Mammyshaz]

That's so rotten luck. The rhubarb in the allotment next to us has been there uncared-for for apps 15 years now and is still growing strong.  Sods law!

I have the same probes with rosemary. Easy herb! Everyone tells me. Well it always dies on me or seeds don't bother emerging.
Last year my mother bought a large potted one for me, harder to kill she said. Well not here. Especially when OH stripped it of it's last few leaves for a stir fry! Poor twiggy shrivelled 

[Small Farmer]

Good lord.  My mother, who couldn't even grow her finger nails had about 30sqft of rhubarb in her garden.   OH forces it in dustbins and grows it in the orchard where it's almost a weed.

Perhaps you try too hard.

[sabrina]

My son who came to visit today was just saying that his apple tree had been looking as if it was at deaths door instead of giving it tender loving care he stood in the garden and shouted at it, threaten to cut it down and behold it is now  in full flower. Wonder what his neighbours thought   

[dyedinthewool]

I can't grow rhubarb. It's embarrassing, I know, but there your are. Over the past five years I have planted several crowns, from friends and from garden centres, but they hang on for months and even put out a feeble shoot in the spring but eventually they just fade away.

 I have made planting holes and filled them with compost. I have fed them. I have starved them. I have watered them and I have kept them dry to no avail.

 At the moment there are three feeble specimens in a nice bed - two from a retail chain and one from a friend. They have wilting leaves and little or no growth and I know they will soon pass over.

 Last night I read that they are acid lovers and I live in limestone country. They've been pissing me off for years, so tonight I'm going to do the same to them.

A good dollope of manure all round and plenty of water - especially when we DO have some dry weather.  Stick somesort of protection round it like a dustbin with the bottom cut off. Heap the manure on on the winter this helps protect the crowns.  Don't pull the stems at first - this weakens the plant- always cut and don't take all the stems always leave atleast two on a crown.

I've just left a post on the veggie thread bemoaning the fact that I haven't been able to put any rubarb in yet due to building 'stuff' being where my veggie/fuit garden will be.  I paid £2.99 a kilo last week.
i've never had a garden yet that hasn't had rubarb in it, this is the first one so far....

[Muc]

Thanks for advice. I'll try those ideas. My research (Google) tells me that rhubarb is a riverside plant from Asia. I suppose it fills the same niche as hogweed does hereabouts so my fast-draining limestone soil is the exact opposite of what it is used to.
 We'll see how happy it is with a barrel of manure.

[Goat-Lady]

Have you tried planting near or next to a mature pile. I had the same problems, but after moving our mature pile I was given 3 rhubarb crowns, which I planted where the pile was. Now 3 years on they huge.

Good Luck