[Brijjy]

If you were a nervous novice that owned a six year old bolshy TB with a suspensory ligament injury and didn't have the time or money to commit to getting him and yourself on the right track? It's not me but my neighbour who fell in love with the idea of having a horse before researching it properly and ended up with the above horse. She also has a companion pony for him who has been very laminitic but is ok for the time being. The pony is on loan and not owned by her. She is lovely lady whose heart is in the right place but she is petrified of the TB. He is taking the lead because she is unable to be the head of the herd. Now she is looking for a place with more land and is willing to uproot her young son and OH after being in her current home for 8 months. I reckon she needs to get rid of the TB before he hurts her or her son but she is adamant on keeping him because she feels sorry for him. I have been very diplomatic with her but every time we have a chat she is more and more stressed with the whole situation. I know I can't lead her life for her but I think she is making a mistake. The previous owner of the TB baled out on him after he got another injury while with my friend, she refused to pay the vets bill and would have had him put down. He has been broken and was to be an eventer but a) didn't like it and b) got the original injury. Sorry to go on but all advice is gratefully received 

[lachlanandmarcus]

I think you are right to present the alternative point of view and probably right that she should not keep going with the horse but also right to let her make her own decision and have a slightly different take on what she should do.

Personally in the current appalling market for horses, I do not think that anything with behavioural issues or old injuries  should be passed on; owners should either keep them, or have them kindly PTS if they are not able/willing to care for them anymore.

Not because I am hard hearted, but because the chances of such a horse getting a permanent loving home are so low at present - at auctions they cant leave any stall open and unattended otherwise a horse will be snuck in and dumped in it - things are that bad. TB types are particularly difficult as there are lots of ex racers now being rehomed so buyers can choose ones without issues/injuries and also they arent suitable for the average novice rider in all cases.

I hope she finds a good outcome...

[robert waddell]

maybe your friend is more suited to a rocking horse        far to often people take on animals projects or whatever and find themselves way over there head in problems of there own making
but we all know how everybody else should run there own lives      it is her horse and her problems if she is deaf to sense that is not your fault

[Rosemary]

Shoot it.

I agree with lachlanandmarcus. Too many horses kept going, from pillar to post and ending up who knows where, but probably nowhere nice. Rescue centres are full of them. Yes, with careful handling and retraining and all that they might become nice horses but most folk, if they are honest, don't have either the time or the skills for it.

Too many horses, I'm afraid.

[jinglejoys]

 Too many people "rescueing" animals that end up in worse conditions that that which they were "rescued" from!

[Small Farmer]

and too many people breed from unpromising mares for no good reason.  We have a companion pony that can't be ridden because his confirmation is quite extraordinary.

[Remy]

The trouble is while most people would know what she SHOULD do, at the end of the day it's up to her and if she won't listen to advice there's not a lot you can do!  Sadly I have known of far too many people who overhorse themselves but won't admit it, and the outcome is never very happy 

[Sylvia]

Too many people "rescueing" animals that end up in worse conditions that that which they were "rescued" from!

I'll second that!

[sabrina]

I would also shoot it, best outcome for all.

[arl]

Hi I have had horses all my life and used to rehabilitate ex racehorses, the one thing i have learned from my life experiences is that so many people are willing to pass on a lame or mentally disturbed horse just to get it off their concience.In reality if you can not afford the time or money you should do the right thing by the animal even if the willingness is there but you dont have the experience to cope please please please dont pass it on. The kindest thing to do is have the animal put to sleep it is a sad heartbreaking thing to do but at least you know yourself it will not go on to some novice who will let it suffer from ignorance and believe me there are so many people out there that have read so many books on what to do and think they know it all.Its a shame the poor horses havent read the same books then life might be a little easier for them. Bite the bullet and do the right thing. I can see you have abig heart but you cant let it take over your life
Arl

[holz306]

where abouts is this woman/horse based and where are they planning on up-rooting to?  There are people who specialise in the rehabilitation of horses with either injuries or behavioural issues.  I have been doing this for ten years now and find that most behavioural issues are actually owner issues and most injury rehabilitation situations arise or come to a head because people can't afford the genuine solution and therefor look for alternative cheaper options.  Having said that....i've dealt with some very interesting issues. 

There sounds like there are two big problems here, one is that there is a horse that needs care that this woman isn't in a postion to give because if she can't handle is with 100% confidence then she can not cope with rehabitating an injury like this.

Secondly, if the horse were sound, its still a bad owner-horse relationship because they are not well matcheddue to her nervous attitude/lack of experience and his young bolshy attitude. 

Selling a horse like this isn'tan option, he will either end up in another very unsuitable home due to the fact that he would have to be sold cheap, or he will end up at auction an likely go for meat for pennies.
A suitable alternative is either this lady pays someone who has the experience and facilities to work with anf rehabilitate a horse like this or she could speak to world horse welfare and ask for them to help find him a suitable home.  Their centers are all very full at the moment so whilst they would be unlikely to actually take the horse they will certainly help her to find an appropriate caring home for him.  The people who work for WHW, certainly in scotland, are really nice approachable people who will completely understand the situation the woman has come into, they won't critisise her for doing her best, and will be very helpfull.

[Brijjy]

The lady and horse are just up the road from me in mid Wales. She has gone off for the weekend and asked if I would look after the TB and pony tonight and tomorrow. I saw her go off this morning and she looked relieved to be going. I honestly don't think she will get rid of the horse as she feels desperately sorry for him and would feel that she's failed him if she does. She is currently in a house that has about 4 acres that are fairly steep and very wet. She is currently housing the TB and pony on a largish enclosure with a big shelter. She seems to think that if they move to another house with more land and outbuildings, everything will become miraculously better. However her son is autistic and she has said that this is the first house that they have lived in that he has loved. It seems insane to me to uproot your child and husband for the sake of a horse. She is trying to manage the horse and has been doing a horse care course but I think he will always be too much for her.

[jaykay]

She probably won't have him shot because she's got a gentle heart.

So she needs painting an alarming picture of what he could do to her child or someone else's child if out, and out of control. Then she needs giving the name of the nearest horse welfare place.

I'm sure it's true that animals are better off not around anymore than passed from unsuitable pillar to inept post. (I'm telling myself this as I take my goat kid wethers to the abattoir on Wed  )

[ellied]

Having expressed your views, I would say there is no more you can or really should do - sad as it may be that she has taken on more than she can cope with, she's not going to do what you say if she doesn't believe it is best for the horse and scaring her and making her more stressed isn't helping her situation.

Pure speculation but someone with an autistic child is probably used to being told by others what she should be doing and how she should be caring and probably equally used to having to fight through for what she believes her child needs.  She is possibly using the same behavioural protective pattern that is keeping her going in a very stressful home situation, it could even be as simple as there being something different to worry about in a life full of worries

The charities are so full, underfunded and desperate that some resemble welfare concerns themselves - if any have capacity to advise and support rehoming great, but she has to want to rehome before that is an option and from what you're saying she doesn't want to give up on the horse (taking a course is a sign of commitment not desperation to escape?)

Support her if you can, but not push her to do something she thinks is wrong - you'll just end up with you both feeling bad about each other and yourselves..

[Brijjy]

Thanks all, I appreciate the advice. I think I will help her when asked (I looked after both horses this weekend for her) but I'm not going to tell her what to do. I think she realises she's taken on too much so hopefully she'll manage to see a way out of it.