[Small Farmer]

Our friend - we see her every day - has the UK record holding horse disaster. Name a sickness and this horse has got it.  This horse is going to bust her insurance company single hoofed - they're down several thousand already.  All her friends think she's bonkers, but she really loves him.  Trouble is he's rather hard to like because his various ailments make him grumpier and harder to handle than most.  And friend is one of the most competent BHS(AI)s we know but the horse hasn't been rideable for 18 months or so.

Anyway he got shipped off to hospital this week with colic and is in a bad way.   

How do you tell a friend that her horse isn't having a fun, that she isn't having any fun and she can't possible afford to keep him?  I fear that she won't be able to make that final decision which is the owner's biggest responsibility because she will see that as her failure.

[SallyintNorth]

I feel for you, SF. 

In my experience, it's pretty much impossible to tell horsey people anything, especially ones with actual qualifications.  (Note, I have ponies and am almost certainly not immune from this.  There are always so many differing opinions about everything equine, you have to become fairly self-confident or you never get anything done!) 

All you can do is make sure she knows how brave she will be when she does make that decision - try to get her to see it as an achievement to do what is right for the horse.  Good luck. 

[Sandy]

She will know when the time comes....she may be putting on a brave face!!!       




But, maybe just tell her, or ask her maybe better!!

[Small Farmer]

Yes, you're probably right: we just have to support her.

[sabrina]

This is a hard one as what an owner see as doing all they can to save their horse at all cost is not always the best for their animal. I always ask myself, have I done all I can, has my horse had enough and the last act of love is the kindness one. By the sound of this story the horse will never be 100 per cent and if its life is a constant struggle then she should make the right decision for her animal. all you can do is carefully suggest what you think and then leave it up to her.

[Small Farmer]

OH and I have agonised over this and had just worked out a strategy (It was down to me to speak to her so that OH could claim what the Americans call plausible deniability) when she turned up in tears.  The yard git (there has to be one, and this one is into natural everything) had told her that it was all her fault.  So we fell back on Plan B which was to rebuild her confidence.

[Mays]

This post reminded me of a girl I knew twenty years ago. She was in the exact same situation as your friend.

I remember one night chatting to her hoping she would see how much the horse was draining her, her finances and how she could move on and get a shiny new healthy new one. A week later her husband was killed in a road accident.  That horse turned out to be the single most important thing in her life, that horse got her thru hell. I felt relieved she hadn’t listened to a single word of my well-intended advice.

[Small Farmer]

You have a point.  Said friend has a special needs child and a husband who left the country to avoid paying for his kids and to avoid the Old Bill who had some questions for him. 

[doganjo]

One of my dogs has been a  financial drain on me these last few years.  I bred her, I was the one who opened the sac because she was her mother's first ever pup, she took fright and I had to take care of Freckles from not just day one but second one.

A few years ago Freckles had a litter herself, one of the pups was diagnosed with megaesophagus(an accident of birth whereby a blood vessel was restricting the gullet and wasn't noticed early enough to rectify), vet bill for assessment at Dick vet, and subsequent care and euthanasia almost outweighed what I got for the remaining pups, so I was in a loss situation with that litter.  A couple of years ago she came back to me in the garden on three legs - she had ruptured her cruciates in that leg and needed an operation - £1800; last year she had a fever soon after a season -  possible cause Pyometra so it was decided an emergency spaying was needed - another £350; late last year she had mammary tumours - another £300.  She still may have another tumour there - we are waiting to see what happens.

I am retired, on a pension, so that's the last of my savings gone on her and I just have to hope the other three stay healthy.  But even so, because she is so special, and because my dogs mean so much to me without my respective husbands,  there is no way I'd have her put down - it was suggested to me by well meaning friends before she had the TPLO for her leg.  I think I blanked them for a month     I'll just have to get the plastic out if we have any more vet bills.

There's always a reason for people to do what they do.  Freckles has a fantastic life, her leg gives her no problems at all, they all have an hour and a half free running at full tilt hunting every day - just off out with them now

[SallyintNorth]

Annie, please tell me you have insurance on the other three!   

Back to the inappropriate horse... I didn't know, until I had my own, just how much they bond with their owner.  When I bought my gelding he was meant to be a stopgap riding pony until I had the filly broken and in use, then I was planning to sell the gelding on again.  Now he's here and is bonded to me almost like a dog would be.  I do now understand and believe when I see horsey ads that say the home is more important than the price - these beautiful gentle beasts give us their trust and it would be a hard heart that could betray such a gift.

[doganjo]

Annie, please tell me you have insurance on the other three!   

Yes, I have insurance on the youngster as he is so gangly, but not the older two, they are a little more sedate and to be honest I couldn't afford insurance on all of them - it would come to about £75 a month.  Generally speaking they are a healthy breed though.

[SallyintNorth]

Annie, please tell me you have insurance on the other three!   

Yes, I have insurance on the youngster as he is so gangly, but not the older two, they are a little more sedate and to be honest I couldn't afford insurance on all of them - it would come to about £75 a month.  Generally speaking they are a healthy breed though.

Well, yes, I do a similar analysis.  With several animals to cover; if I put (mentally or in fact) the would-be monthly insurance premiums in a bucket, sometimes I have to take a rather large sum out of that bucket...