[plumseverywhere]

When we had a dead ewe collected the other day, something happened which upset me a bit and its made me wonder how much dealing you all have with the collection process and if I'm just too soppy to do this    its a bit horrible so I don't want to upset anyone, please don't read further if it might!


When I lost my first 2 goats we used the same collection people who are very nice, compassionate even on the phone (bearing in mind I struggled to communicate with them without crying!) first man came out, took the cheque told me to "go in love, I'll deal with it now, don't look".  2nd time hubby dealt with it.
This time I wheeled the barrow with the ewe down to the lorry and as the man opened the side hatch several animals with shot marks between their eyes tumbled down towards me, I saw cows, sheep, goats and I think ponies. The smell hit me and I felt quite ill. He managed to stop the animals falling out the hatch by blocking them quickly but I'm really not sure what to make of it all. the side hatch seems to be for the smaller animals and a rear one for those that need winching? so i don't think the big ones could have fallen out. Anyway I feel a bit weird and wonder if I could reasonably ask next time if I could just leave him wiht the barrow, pay and get out the way? What do you all do?
 

[jaykay]

I take mine to the hunt kennels, you leave them in the yard but there may well be other dead animals there too 

On the next occasion I would play the soppy female for all it's worth and ask the man if you can leave the barrow and skidaddle, as you just can't bear it. After all, how is anything improved by you being distressed and does it matter it the driver of the knacker lorry thinks you (and possibly other women) are soppy? It doesn't does it?

The only occasion when it's absolutely not ok to be soppy or squeamish is when you have to make a hard decision to stop an animal suffering - then one has to be brave and get on with it, no excuses.  But otherwise, why does additional suffering (yours) help?

[YorkshireLass]

Ahh I'm sorry you had to see that.
As with any job, it becomes very "matter of fact". I've not seen any almost falling out, but depending where we were on the "collection rounds" I have glimpsed the other bodies as our latest got winched in. The smell is always...distinctive.

There is no shame in doing as you suggest with leaving the barrow 


(I started work experience and then a Saturday job in a vets, and have worked with large groups of livestock that weren't culled purely on age - so we had a certain number of natural casualties, and so while saddening, I can be quite "practical" about death of stock. )

[Sylvia]

I take mine to the local knacker yard. I just don't look around me. You have to tell yourself that the animal is dead and can't be distressed by sight, smell or indignity.

[HappyHippy]

We've only had them out the once and it was Bruce who actually went out (man's work and all that ) but I could see exactly what was happening (they parked outside the window  ) and remember, only too clearly, the smell from years ago when my Dad had cows.

I think you could easily play the girly card in future, but sooner or later you're going to need closure on your most recent experience (you're not going to be able to just forget about it)
All those animals were there for a reason Lisa. No-one sends them off for the hell of it, so although it was a hard thing to see it means that those animals are in a better place than they once were, no longer suffering.
And even though it must've been a horrific sight, the animals wouldn't have been aware of any of that - it would have been a quick and painless death in their own surroundings before loading after the 'deed' was done.
I know it's always said that when you've got livestock, you're going to have deadstock - but just because something happens, it doesn't make it easy or nice to deal with. I think you need to give yourself a break mrs  So you got upset, shocked and maybe even a bit of a fright - doesn't make you any different to the rest of us  and it certainly shouldn't make you think about whether or not you can do this - of course you can ! You ARE (and have been) doing it already.
Get the plum wine, some choccies and have a good cry about it if you need to - we'll all be here with the hankies 
Karen x

[Lesley Silvester]

This is something I'm dreading.  My older goat will be eleven in April and is a pet as much as livestock.  When dogs die or are put to sleep, the vet takes them off to be cremated.  I know it's silly and, once she dies, it's only a dead animal but it's the thought of what will happen to her.  I would bury her in the garden if I had enough space and the energy to dig a deep enough hole.

Funnily enough, the thought of eating Curry doesn't have the same effect even though he seems to have realised what's coming and is turning sweet again.  Maybe it's because I have psyched myself up to thinking of him a potential meat.

Plums I do feel your distress.   

[plumseverywhere]

Thank you all ever so much for you lovely replies. I really wasn't sure what to expect with regard to my question so thanks for not thinking me too daft 

Thank you Karen for helping me to see it differently, it helps to know that those in the cart wouldn't have been unaware of it all. And yes plum wine for sure later!! I did have a bit of a cry as I came back in the house but Hubby got a bit cross and just said "stop thinking about it..." which I would do if my subconcious self would let me - I've now been having nightmares about them tumbling out like that.

I agree totally about putting animals out of suffering Jaykay. My townie self some 20 yrs ago would probably not recognise the country self I have become. Its hard but you just have to don't you?  My children have had such a journey and they are so grown up - I remember my 8 year old and I having a chat about the prognosis of a small lamb, I already knew the decision had been made in my head but I gave her pro's and cons and she made the same decision, cried for a few seconds and then said 'goodbye' to him.
 Mad Goatwoman - its very hard, especially first time. My 2 goats died before their time so I had guilt as well as grief. Everyone here was worth their weight in gold in consoling me though, and we will be here for you when the time comes (hopefully a good while away yet though!!)
So yes, girly card from now on and collect the barrow from the roadside once I hear him drive off!!

thanks all 
ps is it too early for that plum wine? well..its is new years eve 

[Lesley Silvester]

ps is it too early for that plum wine? well..its is new years eve 

My glass is here and ready for filling.

[deepinthewoods]

and mine!
get one down you plums, happy new year!!

[plumseverywhere]

   glass full - CHEERS!!  Have a lovely evening all 

[robert waddell]

anybody that cares for livestock has a certain sadness when dealing with deaths and disposals     the stink is always at the back of your mind and the aroma is easily kindled     just think of townies when the cart passes through there towns  they must be heaving esp in summer
look at the others on the cart and behind every death there is a story   they are on there way to make bio diesel
i could relate some story's but you would be boaking over your keyboards

[little blue]

    I would bury her in the garden if I had enough space and the energy to dig a deep enough hole.

... and if it were legal, which it sadly isn't.

Plums, you know we lost our first goat - I was at work and hubby dealt with the knackers - he said he's seen stuff in the van.  We would have much prefered to bury her, much loved she was.

When Murphy the boar had to be put to sleep, we carried him down from the pig shed & he had to lie out overnight.
When the van came I had to help carry him and swing him in... You can't help but look in, if you are like me!
Lots of horses, including a foal in a bath that had drowned and was stuck. that was pretty grim.
  And not the kind of thing you can tell people, so thanks for starting a thread that can help me get it off my chest!

this van comes with just a driver, so somebody here has to help.
I can deal with it - its losing the animal that distresses me. I have abit of a morbid interest, so would sooner know than not :-/

Lisa, if you still need to "talk about it" feel free to PM me, I can read a description of anything if you think it will help you

[SallyintNorth]

Our casualties are left where the 'dead cart' knows where to find them and we are often not about to help - they have a winch inside so can manage on their own if need be.

BH has farmed all his life, and his father before him.  He is still affected by a loss, especially of a young animal that should have had some years ahead of it.

We were invited by the meat company to visit their processing plant to see how our lambs are handled.  BH was almost physically sick at the thought of anyone voluntarily going to watch hundreds of young lambs getting butched every hour, and was really rather offended that they would think that a farmer, who's whole aim in life is to produce good quality, healthy livestock, would want to see such a thing.

We are both still having flashbacks to that awful accident in the summer, with our ewes and lambs massacred by an inattentive driver.

So, no, plums, there's nothing wrong with you feeling how you do and not wanting to see the inside of that cart.  Rather, there would be something very wrong if it did not affect you.     And, as I hope I have demonstrated, it ain't girly at all - it's human.

[plumseverywhere]

Its so hard isn't it Little Blue? I'm glad that starting this thread has helped by providing somewhere for us to air our concerns about when livestock die and the ultimate collection in the lorry.  After Avocet died (you probably remember I was beside myself as we'd gone on holiday) I remember asking the man on the phone "what will happen to her?" he was obviously uncomfortable as he knew I was distressed and he didn't want to worsen it. Its probably so very different to the commercial farmer who has many animals and although every loss comes with a sadness, its less of a personal grief as to when one of your few goats, sheep, pigs etc dies and you have a name for it and you know its personality. When I lose a chicken it feels quite different to losing a goat.
Its like you say that final act of having to swing Murphy in and hoping that they continue to at least treat our animals with some respect at the other end, just a little, I am trying to be realistic honest 
the image of the foal must have really stuck with you, seeing all the calves with shot marks between their eyes, it really felt that thye were looking at me. and there were fluffy animals too which I can't imagine what they were - maybe alpaca's. now this was 10am - he'd done a lot of journeys to have so many animals that time of day?!
thanks for the offer, I might well take you up on that - and likewise for you too.

[plumseverywhere]

Sally, what happened to your stock in the summer made me cry - I remember reading your post and being absolutely devastated for you.
someone put on my FB status that my reaction shows I care about my animals and I do. I just worry I care too much sometimes and its at detriment to my health. If Tony knew I was still 'talking' about the lorry incident he'd tell me right off, he has told me to move on. But I know it will take more than 48 hours, not much more, but I need to process it in my head.
I nursed for years. I was a sister and also a clinical site manager. When I was very heavily pregnant with my first, my bleep went off for a paediatric cardiac arrest in A&E, I ran to the arrest as it was part of my role to commence CPR, find ITU beds etc but the staff wouldn't let me in because I was pregnant and they feared I'd not cope - it was a baby who'd suffered sudden infant death syndrome and couldn't be resuscitated    Back then though I coped and saw lots of very horrible deaths. I think this is why I'm shocked at my own response to this.