Smallholders Insurance from Greenlands

Author Topic: Joke ~Duties of Wives  (Read 3655 times)

Fluffywelshsheep

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Near Stirling, Central Scotland
Joke ~Duties of Wives
« on: February 13, 2009, 08:05:10 pm »
Duties of Wives!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had
Given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America , and bragged that he
had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework.
He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came
home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Canada . He bragged that he had
given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and
the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but
The next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the
dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a SCOTTISH girl. He boasted that he told her
that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed,
laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned
and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he
didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the
third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little
out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the
dishwasher, and call a handyman.


God Bless SCOTTISH Women

i think i also appies to Welsh Women!!!!!!!!

juliag

  • Joined Nov 2008
  • Wanstrow somerset
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2009, 08:37:36 pm »
 :D :D :D
juliag

HappyHippy

  • Guest
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2009, 10:18:09 am »
 ;D ;D ;D

We all know the definition of YUPPIE, NIMBY & DINKY - here's a new one........... WIFE - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc !

But please don't get a joke thread going - all the one's I know are TOO rude to print
or non PC, or terribly offensive ! (Problem is they're also REALLY funny and I don't want to be tempted to share - okay maybe just one more!)

Financial experts are warning that due to the credit crunch, the sexual position formarly known as the 69 has been renamed the 96 - this is due to the rising cost of eating out. (See, I told you they were bad! lol!)

Fluffywelshsheep

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Near Stirling, Central Scotland
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2009, 03:04:58 pm »
 ??? ???
i would have no idea what you are talking about

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

juliag

  • Joined Nov 2008
  • Wanstrow somerset
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2009, 03:45:28 pm »
No I am confused too.  ??? ??? ??? ??? :o :o :o ;D
juliag

Hilarysmum

  • Joined Oct 2007
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2009, 11:27:32 am »
NO NURSE

I said prick his boil !!!!

HappyHippy

  • Guest
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2009, 01:32:02 pm »
He He He, like that one !  ;D

Fluffywelshsheep

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Near Stirling, Central Scotland
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2009, 04:56:34 pm »
Oh dear i think we have reached our level lol
 ;D :D :D :farmer: :farmer:

Hilarysmum

  • Joined Oct 2007
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2009, 08:23:35 am »
That is the dirtiest joke I know!!!

greenfingers

  • Joined Jul 2008
  • Grange by Keith, Banffshire
Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2009, 07:03:55 pm »
Try this out, Hubby's cousin in Australia sent this over last week,
Love all the other jokes.



Two English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break, in their soon-to-be, new store.

As yet the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
 
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling.'

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Australian walked to the window, had a peek and in a broad Australian accent asked: 'What are you selling here?'

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arse-holes'.

Without skipping a beat, the Australian said, 'You're doin well.......only two left!'

Englishmen - God bless them - they should not mess with Australians...
Elaine

Always look on the bright side of life, de dum, de dum de dum, de dum!!

 

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