[plumseverywhere]

Hope its ok to spill some of my troubles here. Am having the most awful time.

I feel like this week has been sent to really test me. We started the week by finding out that my 9 year old is being picked on by one of her classmates but that this little girls mum has also been bullying my daughter verbally behind closed doors and when no-one else is listening. This is being dealt with by school now.

This morning my goat was covered in scours - this is my maiden milker who was fine yesterday but now, as I wait for the vet to call me back she is passing blood and mucus.

On the way home from school run I found my gorgeous black persianX cat had been killed by a car and was laid on the verge some way from our house.

what else could go wrong? of course I am eternally greatful that i, hubby and the kids are all healthy but this week has knocked me sideways 

[HappyHippy]

Oh Lisa 
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time  Can sympathise with the bullying thing - Rebecca has been getting picked on by a girl in her class - started with name calling, progressed to kicking and the little s**t even headbutted Becca in the face  and yesterday I found out that she broke a whiteboard and started battering her with the broken bits  Rebecca is such a softy, that even the teachers feel like telling her to lamp the aforementioned Little S**t (but obviously they can't say that to Rebecca  ) It's really frustrating to say the least  I teach my kids to be polite and NEVER hit or kick anyone or anything, respect the world around them etc etc etc - how I wish other parents would do the same ! But for a parent to do such a thing ! OMG ! No wonder the daughter is a nightmare - what kind of example is that to set  I'm really lucky though that the school are being great about it, severe loss of privilages for the other girl and Becca is getting a bit of one-on-one time with the teachers to give her the chance to talk about it. I hope your school takes the same line - and your wee one gets through it okay. I would be seriously considering taking some further action or advice with the other parent though - how dare they !  I hope all's well soon.
Do you want to email me a photo of your goat & I'll try sending her some Reiki ? It won't do any harm and has got to be worth a shot 
Oh and thank you for my soaps - spoilt for choice ! The wee lavender lovehearts are gorgeous and I can't wait to get into the 'Reggiemintal' one 
Stay positive, this week is nearly over and next week WILL be better 
Take care, Karen x

[knightquest]

Of course it's ok to spill on here Lisa. I hope your week gets better real quick. Lots of virtual hugs and best wishes coming your way.

I'd be taking out any frustration and anger that built up on Mrs Bully and her nasty child myself but you are a better person. You've had all bad news now, so no need to expect any more  

All the best,

Ian

[plumseverywhere]

Thank you Karen and Ian  Feels better to talk to people who understand, and I know you all know my history with poorly goats...so now I tend to fear the worst each time 

Mrs Bully got a mouthful from me in the playground the other day, luckily hubby was with me and calmed me down but I was literally at the end of my tether. It is so obvious why her child is as she is, like mother like daughter (gosh, wonder what that makes my girls lol!!)
I will email you a picture of savannah - thank you Karen  and I am glad you like the soaps!

right, deep breaths because the next task (aside from having to run a soap stall at the school fair tonight.) is telling the kids that another cat has been killed. we must had driven past his body on the way to school but not seen him (thank goodness) and I saw him as i drove home. Scarlett my 4 year old is very upset and we are worried we've pretty much filled rainbow bridge with our animals this year alone!

[Sandy]

Lisa, how awful for your daughter and you and y our family, bullies don't stop when they leaves School sadly, the mum of the bully was most probably a bully at School as well, strangly, often children sort things out and adults are left as enimies!!! The School should have a meeting with you both as parents  to find the route cause, I hate the fact that parents make thier kids worse in regards to being a bully.  It is sole destroying as we want to protect our children and when they are at School they are open to all sorts that is out of our controlle. Also, amazing how children will lie to thier parents, the little girl bully may well have said your daughter did some thing!!!!! I HATE BULLIES the eventualy get thier Karma!

Poor Goat too, may well be something that will soon be out of her system although I know absolutly nothing about goats so no real advice other than you are trying to make her better and so are others.

Cats always seem to want to cross busy roads, poor thing but I bet she died quickly, a lot of cats meet thier maker via the car rather than make it to old age, well it may help teach your children how roads are dangerouse!!!

Next week it all will become better again, not sure why but we all have those up and those down days, heres to some great up'S

Karen, that sounds like a child with an educational/behavioural problem and not just a bully, hope some one is looking into her behaviour.....like you, I have worked with many children with such problems and there is often something that can be done!!!

Makes my sad week without money look well sad

[plumseverywhere]

What you said about the bully girl and mum is spot on!! daughter has been going home and filling mum in on what my eldest has allegedly done and here's a good example..."mum...XXXXX said the f word today at school..." so the mum goes marching into school only for the teacher to find out my daughter said "flipping" but the other girl twisted it. At least 6 children all stood up for my daughter and said NO! she said flipping!!
unfortunately the mum does lots of volunteering at school so has access to info about all the children, which she duly shares in her gossip sessions! aaaaaaaagh!!!
I think you are right about the cats death making the children more road aware. when Scarlett (who is 4 found out) she said "stupid cat" which suggests she thinks he didn't know or use his green cross code I guess!  dreading telling the older 3 though, far too many animals have died here in recent months - some elderly, some tragic and some (poorly lamb) born to die sadly.

[Sandy]

I often find it hard to say or at least make others understand what I am on about as it is all ok in my head but, children grow up facing death all the time when they have animals and it actualy prepares them for other sad events in thier life, our emotions are like muscles and need to be used all the time other wise, some one who for example live alone on a island (that would be nice) will be very much more upset if they break something rather than some one with a house full of people, animals and other breakages with deal with it like just another thing!!!!! Mind you, too much emotional excersise also makes you pretty bomb proof to happiness as well!!!!! like many people from horrid pasts etc.

When my kids were school age I heard stuff like this all the time, parents that gossip etc are horrid, to be honest I am not remotly interested in others haves and have nots and it used to make me made and I left those gossipy groups when all they seemed to discuss is how fat mrs so and so was, what a crap car they have and how thier children are naughty...just hate that sort of stuff.....Oh being a parent IS the most difficult job in the world and you get vertualy NO instruction book!!

[Dizzycow]

Sending you warm thoughts, good wishes and a virtual hug. Rotten time, hope it passes soon. Special good luck with your daughter, I have a nine year old too so fully understand how you are feeling. The mother should be strung up and stoned, how dare she. Sandy's right about bullies not just being at school - I took my third daughter out of playgroup because two women decided they didn't like me and were being very unpleasant. HORRIBLE. So difficult to teach children how to deal with it. A close friend of mine has had to take her nine year old our of her local primary school because of one girl - it's had a significant effect on the daughter, she has become very anxious and paranoid - despite the best efforts of the school and her parents. Keep a close eye, and stand up for her. With luck this will be something she can learn from rather than being adversely affected by. So sad about your cat, poor little thing, and hope the goat improves very soon. What a crappy week. Keep us posted with updates regarding your daughter and the goat. Lots of love. x 

[egglady]

Hi Lisa, a friend of mine was very very poorly a few years ago and wasnt expected to survive.  He did, against all the odds and says he did so becuase he didnt let one single negative thought enter his brain.  Everytime something bad happened, he turned it around to 'see' the positive side.  So when they told him "cases like yours dont normally survive", HE said, "so there's a first for everything".  And when visitors came to visit, he made his family put a note on his door saying "please do not enter unless oyu are prepared to tak to me about the future, what i am going to do for the rest of my life and how quickly i am going to be healthly again".

now some may say this was ridiculous, BUT he was totally cured (from a supposedly incurable cancer) and is still alive and well (20 years later).

and the best bit of all, when i asked him why he thought it had happened to him he said "God is giving me longer legs for longer strides"....it still makes me cry, but by god, did it make him (and his family) stronger for all the ups and downs that life offereded along the way.

so maybe Lisa, God is giving your family longer legs for bigger strides

so talk to your daughter about what it will be like AFTER this girl stops and why your daughter is so so clever and big and strong to be dealing with this.

and when she goes to bed at night, just before she falls asleep ask her "and what did you do today that made you proud?"  and watch her fall asleep with great feelings insider her...

i wish you all that's good hun xx

[plumseverywhere]

you are so right sandy - it would be wonderful to get an instruction manual!!
my daughter and I were only discussing this the other day,some of the children at our school face VERY real issues every day (they live on a traveller site and some only get to visit their dad's once in a while as they are HMP. these kids have also been bundled into police vans and other stressful situations, not to mention the names they get called...however, they never moan about the small stuff, they don't nit-pick the other kids, they don't run and tell trivial tales. these children know about how hard life CAN be so don't make much of the trivia bless them. my daughter is very good friends with one of these girls and her friend has taught her how to ignore the name calling etc. Sadly mum of bully child, is quite intolerant and her daughter is the first person to 'grass' or complain about every little thing.
the school gate gossips used to make me nervous and cringe at the old school, they were really posh and I am not. here there is a great mixture but you know that certain mums are commenting on the size of my bum, our rusty old van, the wellies with goat poo on, the fact my children don't do an after school club every night...drives me nuts ;0)  
Thanks Dizzycow - just saw your message :0)  Women can be soooooo horrible and half the time they are slating us to make themself feel better about their own shortfalls I think. I've been telling hubby about this woman for months and he thought I was imagining it. he doesn't anymore, he's livid.  This woman came here for coffee a couple of times but wiped the rim of the mug before drinking from it  

[plumseverywhere]

Thank you Egglady. that's an amazing story and I AM going to try that iwth my daughter. she does loads that makes ME proud so its time for her to enjoy being the lovely girl she is too xx

[Rosemary]

Sorry you're having a sh*t week. Love egglady's philisophy and story. Do you remember a song with the lines "What have you done today to make you feel proud"? I was brought up to "not boast" or "blow your own trumpet" so sometimes (most times) never feel like I've done enough  I shall give myself a pep talk every night now.

Slightly off topic but Dan met a woman at a conference once, who worked at the (then) new Scottish Parliament and who was bumming herself up - name dropping and so on. But she kind of let herself down when she said, "Donald Dewar is a lovely man - very self-defecating." We laughed and laughed about that.

[jaykay]

Sending you lots of cyber-hugs, what a lot to deal with 
I'm so sorry about the cats (I'm afraid my current kittens are going to be house cats after losing three on the road in quick succession).
What does the vet think about your goat - hope she mends quickly.

As for the nasty mother, and the bitchy ones previously, behaviour is always about them (and often their insecurities), not us. Sadly she's teaching her daughter the same sort of nastiness. I'm glad school is acting now. Your daughter will have a much happier life and be a far nicer person, because of the broad range of friends and positive outlook on life you're encouraging her to have.

I really hope things start to look up and that the weekend is a good one 

[Roxy]

Sorry you are having a bad week - sometimes its like that, and you do wonder why.  Kids can be so cruel.  I was bullied by a girl at primary school, don't know why she picked on me.  But to this day, I still remember dreading playtime, knowing she would be there to push me around, and call me names.   I finally told my dad, who insisted on going to the school. In those days, the cane was still used, and I think the headmistress threatened to use it.....cos this girl came and apologised, and offered to be my friend (not that I was keen, you understand!)

As to your cat, thats sad, but I am sure your cat enjoyed its life, crossing the road, and dicing with death - just unfortunate it did it once too often.  But it was much better and happier doing that, than cooped up indoors.  Children do cope with death better than us adults, who tend to dwell on things.

Do hope things look up for you from now on.  

[faith0504]

Hiya,

I truly hope you start having some good luck and good times, you are such a lovely lady, you deserve it.

Dont let the b*******S get you down rise above them,

Sending you loads and loads of positive vibes

All the very best,